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[If It Weren't For Kris.....I'd Be Dead Right Now.]

What is it about me that makes people so angry? The way I walk? Talk? Dress? Act? I can't be sure. All I know is it drives them up a wall, and they let me know. I broke down crying during the dance after my eighth grade grad ceremony. Kris of course, was the only one there to help me. He stayed with me all night, and hugged me, and let me know it would all be okay. 1

I'm not sure what triggered me crying, I think someone said something about how amazing their parents were...That would have done it. 2

Anyway, I broke down crying, hysterical even. Cried and cried, and I was angry, and I wanted to break everything and smash it, and freak out like I used to. But Kris wouldn't let me. He kept me in line. I hit him though...Straight across the face. A good right hook. Then tried to run away I guess..Cause he grabbed me around my waist and held me back. No matter how much I kicked and screamed and scratched and bit, which I did. He held tight. Kris knows me. He's my best friend here. He knew i'd pick a fight, a bad one. He knew I wouldn't stop. He knew it'd be brutal. And someone would end up in the hopsital. He also knew, that I was aiming for it to be me. But he did stop me. I don't know how. But he did.3

I went home, and things were as they should be. As soon as I walk in, the screaming begins. Abou the same thing it was when I ran out the day before. "You're fat, and an abomination, and stupid, you need to do something about yourself.." The same old story.4

I need to talk to Evan. If he reads this, which I doubt he will. I need him to contact me SOMEHOW for crying out loud. Please.5

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