[ this is sort of scattered.. but i dont wanna revise it.1 ]

this is sort of scattered.. but i dont wanna revise it.1

I once wrote a poem about butterflies because someone told me that when one is seen, it can be a symbol of new beginnings.The poem said:2

I wish I could be outta my mind
in a garden full of butterflies.
They signify fresh new starts,
and behind their wings the past departs.3

Now. Early this morning, after a night of no sleep whatsoever, I began discussing the feeling of having that butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach that i have previously confused for love. Many of us strive to feel those butterflies...that shaky feeling. It's as if you know you really adore this person because you feel it within. However.. if the theory is true, and if "butterflies" are simply just a symbol of new beginings, then those insects flying around in your tummy may not be all theyre cracked up to be. Maybe all they mean is "uh oh.. here we go again", or "this is a new person entering your life"... or any other endless possiblitiy of something "new" being associated with that person. 4

How many times have you had butterflies in your stomach, only to realize down the line that your feelings for that person or situation dont run all that deep, or dont turn out as your butterflies had lead you to believe?5

Those butterflies are a nervous sort of feeling. The feeling you get when you are in the spotlight, introducing yourself to a "brand new" situation. This could be while giving a speach, standing on a stage, jumping off of a cliff into water, or anything else that is new to someone. The feeling may also fly around when one is afraid of being misjudged or misunderstood. When he or she is thrown into a "new" situation, and wants to make the best impression.. job interview...first date...house party...any social situation, this person is prone to feeling "butterflies".6

I think its a shame to disregaurd a potential love just because you dont feel butterflies.
all that means is that the situation is no longer new. this is not a bad thing either, what is better than already being understood? already having proven who you are? no nervous stomach. no false impressions due to fear of rejection. nothing to hold back or worry about.7

so the point of this was to say that its wrong to chase butterflies. they come to you. and when they arent there, its not a sign that the path youre choosing is a wrong one, it may just mean its been right all along, and all of the other butterflies were leading you astray down brand new, yet unnecessary, paths..... but who knows.
thank you.