...

I dont know anymore. Its like nothing has changed in reality, but in my little world everthing has changed. She got back together with him, and idk...I HAVE ALWAYS HATED HIM. And i know this is wrong. And i dont even want to say this but i want him to hurt her. Not physically, just call her fat or something. It'll make me feel better. But im contradicting myself. Cause i want her to be happy. But its like. She didnt even give me a chance. Kym had a chance, that bitch. And Nick has a chance right now. Lucky bastard. And i never had my chance. Ive never even had a real relationship with a girl...o.o so i guess its back to a life consisting of phone sex with internet whores. Its sad though. I really thought we could be. I waited around. I had patience. Just to get rejected...She may have never lied to me. But i still feel used. My heart belonged to her and now shes neglecting it to be with Nick...And idk .I want to go on a love-less...spree. Like, I want to find a chick fuck, then leave. I dont want to love anymore. My heart and my body is used and scarred to the point of no return...and i dont even blame her...i blame myself for depending on someone who i shouldnt have depended on, she told me from the start how she felt, and i always blow shit out of proportion...idk...