Confused and Frustrated

I feel so sick of myself. I just ate lunch. All I had was a salad and but I feel gross. It was a big salad. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and that includes a weight check so I'm kind of nervous. I really, really, really hope and pray that I didn't gain any weight.1

On another note, I had a really good morning volunteering at the preschool. The little kids there are so cute. They get my mind off of everything else.2

I still haven't called my therapist back. We kind of had a disagreement last session and i got really upset. She ended up calling my mom and telling her that we had a difficult session and I don't know how much she told her. I just feel like i can't trust her that much right now. I really don't want to call her like she asked me to because I don't want to talk to her and then get all upset and stuff. 3

I'm going to see her on Wednesday anyway. I have this annoying meeting on Wednesday with my therapist, my DMH worker, my outreach worker, and my mom. i hate meetings they always get me so upset and then I have trouble calming down. I thought having my therapist at the meeting would neutralize things, but now I'm not so sure. Part of me thinks I should call her back so she doesn't get mad at me, but I don't know, that could backfire.4

I'm just so confused and frustrated right now and it sucks.