belle

today i watched the sun raise from its slumber. i was up most of the night watching americas next top model re-runs on youtube. i guess you could say that im adicted to compitition fashion and photagraphs. i found a new gem today. antony and the johnsons. if you havint heard this mans creepy lovley voice then um you need therapy. i am trying to apreciate the gift of life. even though sometimes i feel fragile. today my frank said i was his first love. i dont know if that was the i haveint seen you in 2 months talking or not. but hey he was the first to say i love you. 3 words yes so powerful. we were in his car. it was a sunday around five or six aclock. just enough time to have the sun hit his right side and blind me sometimes. he had his church clothes on. he looks so good in a suit oh yes he does. i told him that next weekend we were going to clean out his car and he looked at me like i just stepped on his toe. he showed me video(oh the joy of technology) of his papa in africa. the camera panned through the huge yard filled with green. he panned to his cabinents and fancy things. he made his way to the main event; the powdered milk that frank loves. i dont understand. but its ok. his father went to visit his brothers and franks grandmother. that woman was so lovely. she looked so wise. she had on red pattern that stoped at her feet. he turned the camera of and began to speak. when he said those words his deminer changed he became so frail. yet he tried to hide this point by lifting his chest slightly. that was the day i saw love rest on the heart of a man in a cream white collared shirt. he calls me now that im in college everyday and says the sound of my voice sooths him. sometimes he cant sleep because he worries about me and how im doing so far away. long distance relationships can make you or break you. people always tell me i am crazy to be with someone who is in another state but they dont know me an my frank. want to belive that he needs me and that we could really work out. but i know reality we got about a 50/50 shot of makeing it. but i know hope doesint look at figures so im still happy. college is supposed to be the place were you find out who you are and who you want to be. i haveint got the memo. im stil questioning my major and even thinking about dropping out and takeing a buss to cali and audioning for every dance company i can find. i am glad that i have peace and serinity. well i have finals so i need to watch so you think you can dance josh and katee slow dancing in a burning room write some emails and then go to sleep .
chao