Wallowing in Self-Pity, no more.

So, I'm sitting here with my four year old brother, watching "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" and I decided to write this. Who would've thought, that something as simple as spongebob can make me realize how much of a doofus I am. 1

About a week ago, I wrote something about me being a lying, cheating, something or rather. These past couple of days, I've been so depressed. Today, I'm really happy. It's like I've been pmsing. But anyways, I'm so stupid for writing that about myself. Really, I'm not a kid anymore, I shouldn't wallow in my self-pity. It's time to buck up, and be the man I'm not ready to be. 2

Ever since me and RJ broke up, I've just been a little depressed shit. I've been ignoring everyone, not talking about what's wrong. I guess what really got to me was the fact that RJ said we would stay friends, and I haven't heard from him in a week. I text and call, and never do I hear back. I finally sent him a message last night, basically saying that our friendship isn't working because he won't talk to me. It's up to him to keep our friendship alive now. I'm not stressin' though. It's one less person to worry about. I mean, god damn, I would really like to stay friends with him, but a friendship is a two way streak, not one person doing everything. I've noticed that, and I've dropped ALOT of friends because i've realized this. I need a brand new set of friends, to find a nice relationship. 3


After reading Tyler's journal entry, I too have realized I'm fed up with the gay community. There's way too much drama with it. Too much selfishness. I'm going to just bide my time. Have fun with life and if the right guy comes along, he'll come along. There's gonna be heartache in life, and all I can do is just get over it.4

Anyways.....5

Back to what I was talking about. I can't believe that the spongebob movie showed me how much of a doofus I am. Its shown me that it doesn't matter what I've done in the past, what I do in the future. That's what molds me, what makes me.... well, me. If people don't like me for me, then that's tough shit. Get the hell over it. I'm an exceptional character and everyone that knows me, and this may come off conceited but it's not, is one hell of a lucky person. I'm a great friend, a trustyworthy guy. 6

I also want to take the time to thank everyone thats there for me. Especially in my time of needs.7

Raymond, you may be one helluva douche, but you're always there to hear me when I call, you're my best friend from far away. You know how to keep someone calm and you just know how to make me laugh, and the same with you. We just connect and I really like that. I love ya, and nothings gonna change that.
Sara, you're always there, just to talk. You keep me laughing, especially when we have convo's about your baby daddy. It's just so funny. Despite everything going on in your life, you still know how to keep someone happy, and you haven't let me down yet.
Emily, you're like a sister to me. We may not get to talk much, considering we're M.I.A. when each other log on. But you're always there, to give me that big ass dose of tough love, and it's something that just keeps me inline. You're my turtleysex, my owner.
Keisha, we may not talk much anymore, but you're always just there. I know you are, and I know that when I text you in the screaming hours of the morning with an "I just need to talk to someone." you're always there.
Ellen, Mayank, and Amelia you guys just know how to keep the room alive. it's just one of the many gifts ya'll possess and it's really encouraging. You guys are an inspiration and in times of need you people just know what to say.
Rena, I miss you so much, and I love the fact that even though things don't go well for you alot of the time, you're always there. Whether it be for me or for someone else. You may not 'befriend' people all too much, but when you do, you're there for life.
Scott, you're funny as hell and I'm glad you have come to self realization with yourself. We all need to take an example from you that things aren't always what they seem.
Kellena, you have alot of tough times with you right now, but whenever and wherever you are, you just know what to say. We help each other out, and in the end it's always a win win situation.
Chrissy, you're always just there. You say the darndest things that make me think. You're a good friend, a great sister, and just you.
Maria, you always make me laugh. My partner in crime, you're like my muse and it's just great that we're able to tell each other so much. 8

9

It's really sad that all of these people on here, are here from AllPoetry. My real life friends, I need to get rid of them all. So many empty promises. All I ever am to them is a back fall, if something is wrong then they come to me and that's the only time I ever hear from them. If they need something, that's the only time I ever hear from them. I need a new set of friends. I need to get out of Kansas and just start a new life. I'm seriously debating whether or not to just leave Kansas without graduating and just getting my G.E.D. elsewhere. 10

Eh, oh well... I'm just glad to know that I've finally realized who I am, what I need to do, and that it's okay to always be yourself. No matter who you're with, who will like you or dislike you. Just be yourself and everything will be alirght in the end.11

I'm a goofy goober, yeah! You're a goofy goober, yeah! We're all goofy goober's yeah! Goofy, Goofy, Goofy, Goofy, Goobers, YEAH!12

Joshy