Musings of me.

My name is Raeven. I'm twenty. I got married at eighteen and so far I've managed to keep it going. My favorite color is yellow and I don't care if you think I'm weird. I think I'm weird. I don't care about a lot of things these days, but caring still exists in my heart. I guess I'm just figuring out what is and isn't worth the energy. Who is worth the energy? Are you? Am I? Sometimes I still have a hard time puzzling it all out.1

I'm always changing my mind about everything. Especially what I want to do with the rest of my life. One day I want to be a wedding planner. The next I want to be a makeup artist...and the list goes on. I guess that's why I haven't started college. College has been a dream of mine since I was a freshman in high school...then I dropped out my senior year and that dream got flushed...but now I have my GED. I'm doing well for myself I suppose. I just have to figure out what I want to do. 2

I have issues. Serious issues. Stick around long enough and you'll get an earful of them. I get tired of myself quick so I'm constantly changing. I'm paranoid and insecure, especially when it comes to my husband. I don't know why. Singing is my favorite thing in the world, and I'm good at it. I sang at Carnegie Hall when I was fourteen under the direction of John Rutter. He's like...epically mean. He's short...like uber short, and mean as hell, but he knows what he's doing and he's good at it. I sang the Faure Requiem. It's like forty-five minutes long and it's all in Latin. It's beautiful and I loved performing. 3

I like talking about myself and my life because it puts things into perspective I might not have understood about myself before. Sometimes I get really unsure of myself, and my husband thinks it's cute. I think it's annoying because I'm constantly having to ask for help of some kind. It makes me feel incompetent. But I know I'm a smart person, I've always been a smart person. 4

I would die for most of my friends, and I give everything I have into the friendships I'm part of. It's just part of who I am, those people are part of who I am. I get really hurt if I feel like I'm going out of my way to talk to someone and they don't bother with me. When I'm hurt I tend to do and say shit I don't mean, and I've nearly lost several friends that way. But it happens right?