Today I found out that a man that is like a father to me passed away. I got to have three weeks with him prior to his death and that is much more than I ever got with my real father. I just did not see how it all came about one day he was great the next he was dieing. I really am struck badly by the loss, thirteen years and many memories. I got a hold of the boyfriend and granted I am not in a great state of mind he does not even care if I come home to him. Well he says I am getting annoying, so this is what I sent to him. I love dad and I miss him. Just as much as I miss my real father and like I miss my son. I am down to the
"What I am trying to say is that I am very heartbroken right now, maybe all I wanted to know is that you would look forward to fianlly be able to get to see me. Make me feel more comfortable about it. I really don't need someone hanging up on me, I need more support granted I was here before anyone else. I do love you and I am spending to much time being a tough bitch cuz I don't want the world to see how much this really hurts me. I want to know that some one that loves me cares and will be there when I get there. I am gonna not act so tough anymore, I am gonna leave myself vunerable to all that wants to hurt me cuz life won't be the same if my heart is not breaking."
I love dad and I miss him. Just as much as I miss my real father and like I miss my son. I am down to the point in my life where I just can't cry hard enough or keep up my tough act. I get hurt so much, I might as well walk with it in pride. I wish I knew what to do. How can I be happy, with so much hurt. How can I know everything is for the best. I don't know anything.
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I can only say that one special person holds my heart in the palm of his hand. I trust him with something so precious, knowing he could turn around and break it. Testing its limits also makes it hurt, but I am sure he does not know how much pain that it causes me. If he does then I guess he enjoys toying with my hearon Aug 12 12:46 PM, 200 words. → 2 comments, Add one?
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How could danny ask me to stay in florida to watch the dogs when I want to be at the funeral. I think that there are so many other people that have known him for a short period to time that can sacrifice something so important. Thirteen years of my life and the last three weeks he was alive I was here. All I wan
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Dear Diary, Things are painfully complicated even more than ever in my life. I feel like I am a walking curse. I came down to Florida to help my friends dad, I arrived on April 2,2009. It all started out great, he was moving around and mobile. All of the sudden within three weeks of being here he is in thon May 5 4:04 PM, 400 words. → Make first comment?
