Mama oh Mama
Don't you worry bout a thing
He's the one who left us
Let him do the suffering
He was a little sneak indeed
The way he crept and crept
I promise you, it's not your fault
He's the one to change how he felt
Mama dear, I promise you
He wasn't worth your time
The drugs, the lies, the alcohol
It's him who'll pay the fine
He's a drunk, a druggie, a liar
And a stupid ugly cheat
He didn't love you much
You were just a piece of meat
Please mama, find somebody
Find somebody worthwhile
Somebody kind, caring, compassionate
Who doesn't abuse their child
Yes'm, it's true,
I'm blackened and bruised
But the scariest thing
Is that I know you are, too
Make-up don't hide much, mama
And when you wash it off at night
You come into my room to tuck me in
I see your scars in the moonlight
You sing me to sleep with my favorite lullaby
And promise me that everything's okay
But mama, I'm more grown than you think
And your soul is dying more everyday
Mama, you don't have to be so brave
I know that you loved him at first
You saw him, he was perfect,
But then, things just got worse
So mama, really, I'm telling you this
Because I love you, and I will forevermore
Daddy is gone, he left us alone...
He doesn't love us anymore.
Author notes
Well, this is about a girl, not yet a teenager, maybe about 8, 9, 10 years old, and her mother is just torn up because they are left alone when the daddy runs off with somebody else. Their life wasn't perfect. He was an abuser in every way, and they didn't deserve that at all. So now, the child is letting the mom know that she still loves regardless of the mistakes she made, and that he wasn't worth it because he was so bad for them. In the end the child has to let the mom know that they aren't wanted anymore, and that they need to move on, because obviously their father did. I sort of thought about my adoption when I wrote this, I imagined what would have happened if I was older and all of this happened, and what would have happened if I'd been old enough to really remember all of this. So yeah. Whoo! Long paragraph! Please, let me know in the comments how you think I did! Also, I know it may not be exactly what the contest is looking for, but yeah, I thought it related, and even though it may win nothing, I'll still give it a shot. 
A contest entry
- Child Abuse: What words can you give children for hope? by Nicada.
950 points, ended August 14, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abandonment by Sgt. Pepper.
550 points, ended May 17, 40 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Letting Go Feels Good. by Poetryintheblood.
700 points, ended May 20, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite contest by Sadistic klown girl.
1000 points, ended June 2, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So...how did I do?
Comments
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Thank you for writing this, so many of us suffer this and so little do not survive.
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Sentiments well expressed in these lines; so much terrible stuff happens to families like this; I am sure a few who read this can relate. Easy to read and understand what you are saying here. Such a tragic situation that many families put up with. It is good when they leave, or he does, so they can at last move on with their lives and be free of the abuse and degradation they go through daily.
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I think you did really well with the poem. I am sorry stuff like this happens
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oh WOW this is a real strong girl who put up with too much.
You sing my to sleep my favorite lullaby
And promise me that everything's okay
But mama, I'm more grown than you think
And your soul is dying more everyday
i love how this part blends parts of a child an parts of a adult in her in it
very deep an gripping
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Very good job, a very poetic way to tell a very sad story. The flow was just right and really made this an easy read.
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Oh wow, this is a VERY powerful piece. I hate child abuse to, any kind of abuse really, and i absolutely love how you worded this. It's wonderful, keep up the amazing work
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This poem was GREAT! I personally can relate to this, because I grew up in an abusive home. I call it the real life, "Monster House". This poem hit home, and honestly there are a lot of women and children across the world that are suffering at the hands of heartless, and abusive men who are too coward enough to seek help to better themselves and to save their families. Some women make it out, and some live in graveyards and will never be able to tell their story. I hope this poem inspires courage, because it speaks volumes! Also I love the idea of the childs voice being heard in this, because a lot of people think that children do not understand what is going on.
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it's so good i don't how to tell you how good it is.
well done.
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I truly love this. It rings true and feels genuine. Children go through so much when their mother is abused. They are silent victims. I worked in a shelter for abused women and their children and know just how traumatized the kids are. If only the mothers realized that the children DO realize what is happening and that being there is damaging to them.
Thanks for writing about this important subject.
~ Joyce
Critical suggestions:
In the line with "crept and crept," I would drop one and replace it with another word.
Your title is a little too corny (sounds like a country song)shortening it might help. Have you considered just titling it "Mama, Oh, Mama?"
"Somebody" could be dropped in line # 19.
"See your scars in ("the" isn't necessary, flows better without it)starlight."
The line after that is awkward and I suspect that if you read it you will see what is wrong there.
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Too many people understand too well the meaning of this poem. You did a good job portraying the role of an abused daughter who has to be strong for her mother while coping with her own problems. Deep and it hits you where it hurts. Great work!
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I can really feel this piece. It is sad and emotional but deep at the same time. It is hard sometimes for us to tell our parents something they may not want to hear, but something that is right there in there faces. this is a wonderful piece. just go back through and spell check it hun. you did a great job.
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this was very deep i really pictured this poem in my mind it made it feel so real you have a fantastic way of rhyming
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Thank you! Ever since I was little, I've been crazy about rhyming poems, whether it simply be on a Christmas card, or something deep like this. Thank you so much for commenting again
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awesome write but i didnt like the part about mama being a piece of meat. its very emotional and deep. u can almost believe this happened to u.
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I see what you are saying about that and it was sad when I wrote that, but that was the only way I could figure out how to get my feeling on paper, the way it sounded like he treated her. But please, if you do have something better and more appropriate to say than that, I'd totally love to hear it
and I'm thankful for your honest input. And I am glad that you can almost believe it, because before I wrote the author's notes, people did think that this really happened, but I don't want anybody to like call CPS because my dad really does love me very much(: Thank you again for your honest opinion it really did help
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Wonderful. I liked it alot.
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Thank you, I'm thankful that you have positive things to say about it
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This is a great poem!!!!
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
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very good poem thanks for sharing
i really dont understand that how come people write this beautiful poems
would you mind read my poems??
may be you can give me valuable suggestion
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Aw, thank you! I will totally read yours, I'm sure they are great, you just have to spread the word about them
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I really like the emotion in this. Really well written. I really like the second to last stanza about makeup.
Anonymousxo -
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I think that's my favorite one too, especially with that part about moonlight on her skin Thank you so much every comment helps
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This is so toucking that it brought tears to my eyes. So ofter children of abuse are grown up and wise beyond their years. This is just so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Best wishes and much love,
-Nessa
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I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry! But if I touched you, I hope that I got the message of the poem across. And I know, they are so grown up, but they don't really get to have a childhood, though they do sometimes become successful because of their maturity, and they have more fun when they are older and free. Thank you so much for reading
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very beautiful!
I am touched by this very heartfelt write. I understand how hard it can be to go through something like this, watching a parent suffer emotionally and knowing nothing you say will be much help...keep writing! let me know if you need anything else read...Id be glad to!
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You're so sweet! Watching anybody who's close to me makes me feel helpless because you can't quite manipulate people's feelings to make them feel better, or let them realize that they are out of a horrible situation that could have wound up worse. And lol, thank you, although I won't ask you to read my other stuff, a lot of it lately is mainly about stuff like this, more depressing-ish stuff, but if you really want to you can go to my author page, I guess And again, thank you so much for your input, it totally helps
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this poem is amazing. it sickens me how people can abuse the ones they supposedly love and that some people don't or can't leave such abusive environments. things will be set straight one day! great write, keep up the good work XD
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I know, right! I mean, does "I love you" mean nothing anymore? And some people, like the woman ("Mama") in the poem can't believe that it's happening, and the shake it off, turning it into no big deal, and are looking out for their kids, and it just explodes. Thank you so much for your input
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Bless your little heart
Your wings were forever open with love and you held your Mama so dear and close to you .Yes some homes from those on the outside looks like everything is OK But those inside knows of the hell behind the closed doors. To hide it is so very wrong to do and believe me the woman that left with your Daddy will be getting every bit that she deserves they usually do for their furry is turned to them instead of you. Together the two of you help each other become strong and never ever let another man touch you in a hurtful way again .And honey if your Dad comes back when he loses interest in that other woman you call the law and have him put on watch and you watch him very crefully for those type of men seem to never really go away be careful honey and God Bless
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Thank you so much! Although, I think you might have misunderstood just a little bit. This didn't actually HAPPEN, what happened was I was adopted at a very young age, because my mom and dad weren't suited to be parents. The thing is, something tells me, whether it be my dreams or my conscience, that it wasn't totally my mother's fault. If my dad hadn't been so mean and abusive to her and me, then run off, maybe she wouldn't have left me, and I'll want to know that for the rest of my life. But the thing is, I have a happy home, and I've had it since I was about 18 months old, and my mother told me I was adopted when I was 7, but she didn't let me know in it's entirety till around last year, and she told me everything. And it's scary, truly, because like if I'm not home on time from the bus or something, my mom freaks out because she thinks that my maternal mom or dad has found me or something, but I know that Heavenly Father will always be with me. I thank you again for commenting and reading
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This piece gave me the chills
It was so sad, so moving, so touching all at the same time
You have penned such a sad piece but beautiful within it's words.
To know that a child could understand more than she/he should, it's hard to take in really.
Lovely Job
Much Love & Respect
Chantelle -
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Thank you! I know people talk children are innocent, and how they can't handle some things, but I wanted to make this girl different, make it to where the mother truly needs her help since she's so torn up inside, and so scared. Usually, the mom is fine and on top of things, but she, like the little girl, grew up with an abusive past, and since she's been through so much, she falls apart. They now have the opportunity to start new, and really, I think that's what they should be thankful for. Thank you again for reading
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I like it. It's very upseting though, how some people become. But that little girl has so much hope and love in her to give, I think that's what makes life worth living through to the next day. I'm glad they will be all right now.
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Despite the fact that the Daddy was a piece of trash, the mother still taught the girl to be strong and fight for what you believe in, but the little girl is having to do that at this point since the mother has had to deal with it her whole life. The mom grew up in a bad situation, but she had to live with it, and the little girl knows that. Now, the girl is letting her know that they have an opportunity to have something better that the father just didn't have to offer. Thank you very much for reading
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this is depressing but hell man i love this this is so amazing...i felt alot of emotions from this poem...it's wounderful and you did and awsome job -
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I'm sorry I had to depress you =[ but I did get my point across which was my main goal, that and to touch somebody. I'm glad you felt the emotion from the poem, and thank you for reading!
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sounds like the child has to do the parenting in this scenerio. the explanation though unnecessary helped to explain in more detail the meaning of the poem. i was curious to know if this was basedon a true story or not..however it is out there and thats the ugly truth of it. thanks for sharing
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Thank you! Well, the mother is very immature, and now in a bad way, she just wants her life to be a fantasy, and she meets some guy, and all of a sudden, she thinks she has her happy ever after, but it doesn't turn out well and now she's just torn up inside and out, and her daughter is just like "Mom...he left us." So she's getting through that.
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this is really touching and beautiful you did a great job relating the story onto the page and this poem is really so beautiful thank you for writing and write on!
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If I touched at least one person from writing this, then I'm happy. And since you've said it's touching, you made my day Thank you so much!
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