At a table in a garden, on a soft, sweet, summer's night
Two friends are sitting talking by the moon's reflected light.
On the table in the garden there are glasses but no drink
And the friends are sitting talking, but they often stop to think.
The topics that they cover seem to range so far and wide
And the glasses sit there empty, since they left the drink inside.
The night is getting cooler but the friends stay close and warm,
The moon just looks down calmly, she has magic to perform.
As he leans across to kiss her, and she kisses him as well,
The friendship starts to blossom into something more to tell.
The tension in the garden needs assistance to decline
So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine.
Author notes
I loved a line of poetry... by Dalaney.
Lane removed all her poetry from the site now so you cannot find it in her list, but she has now returned with brilliant new poetry. She is the most perfect free verse poet I know. And a damn good rhymer too!
I have now found a copy of Lane's Haiku :-
Bon Apetit
Little black spider
wraps its dinner in fine silk
the moon pours white wine
My AP name is cricketjeff
In a list
A contest entry
- Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by Piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 47 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From March 2008 by Amaranthine Lover.
525 points, ended May 1, 41 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Real Love by EmmaLuLu.
360 points, ended April 29, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Baby!!! XD Have a go! by GalykSadie.
300 points, ended April 29, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where Is The Love? by Ephemeral Twilight.
750 points, ended June 1, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options for the undecided. by Eyes Wide Shut.
875 points, ended May 28, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - by Midnight-x-Rose.
600 points, ended June 18, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A quick one for the best! by Lost Indigo Kitty.
1800 points, ended July 6, 37 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Looking for poems, That will make me say: OMG! This is awesome! 810 points by PoeticLove.
600 points, ended July 15, 66 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insert Good Title Name Here by Abidoodle.
1750 points, ended July 13, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 219 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think [Reward: double points]
Comments
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wow damn thats so good ive had something simeler to that happen to me befor it was so amazing your so talented it would mean alot to me if you would comment one off my poems and tell me what you think in a comment you could read um guys are so freakin its a funny one or um one of mt new ones i dont realy care i just would love it if you would commment one off my poems please thank you
love your veiwer
kathy
aka
scarred for life16
. Rewarded 8
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Superb
I really liked your imagery. However, if i'm out on a date and "the moon leans down to pour me a class of white wine", I think I'ld get up and run away from it.
Again, very well written.
Perhaps, you might like to take a look at my whimsical piece: "Designing Space Parameters".
Here's the link:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4105675 -
I like it
This is a great write, you're a very good writer.... Great job keep up the great work! -
Once again my friend you have drawn such a beautiful picture with your words! I can't understand why you didn't get the Gold on this one...but congrats on the honorable!!
. Rewarded 4
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The rhyming was okay, simple which in its own vein works quite well in itself. The repetition of certain words didn't move me too much, and by the end I just wasn't interested anymore.
I can't take away from the fact the story told seemed to hold a picturesque quality to it, and in that good work. -
This is a lovely poem, and a great tribute to your friendship. I enjoyed the meter, rhyme and images; even the detail of the drink forgotten inside. This is worth all the praise you have received.
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everyone else has already said>.
I really enjoyed reading that
You really captured the magical moonlight atmosphere
<33 -
Beautiful
I am so glad I stumbled across this one. Such beautiful imagery and a lovely story as well
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I have gone to ask my Dad for points so I can do the rewards!
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I have just joined this site, and only read half a dozen poems or so, this is my first comment. This is a wonderful poem, I would love to meet the poet and the person that inspired the poem.
So romantic, sitting in the moonlight and falling in love, and only getting the drink afterwards! -
Great job, reading and feeling the moon pours white wine, the amazing and wonderful sights in my eyes......
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I love this!
It's just so amazing! What a beautiful story woven into great imagery and flow.
Great Write!
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Stunning poetry and the white wine and a brandy would be offered if Lane saw this.
Love, C
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Love the imagery... I had fun reading this... I also love how this tells the story of how a friendship evolved into a romantic relationship... Beautiful write here...
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Your words roll ever so smoothly. A delightful read, indeed. Light and full of fun imagery... Made this reader feel good... Thank you
Cheers -
What lovely verse depicting the warmth of friendship that becomes something more! When the words and kisses leave us, and only the moon is left to pour white wine... oh my! I feel the shadows and lace--like opalescent gossamer curtains.
May she find her sun...and the sun find her laughter.
~ K
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Just Fantastic...!
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This is an excellent write. Keep it up
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WOW !!!
This is a beautiful and romantic write with lots of mystery hidden in the lines. The darkness, the moon, the silent conversation, the kiss. It is all there. I especially liked the last line of your work. It is all beautiful.
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AWESOME!!!
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Worthy of being spotlighted
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three thumbs up!
First class," cricketjeff"!
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totaly deserves the attention it gets
this one is quite honestly the best thing ive read in a long long time.. this is my fourth time reading this .. i love it -
holy shit really good write love the last line
beautiful imagery O.O
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i think that this is an amazing poem
awsome job
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oooh the ending was Perfect... Love the effect it had. this is beautiful.
The rhyme is beutiful. not forced at all.
Delila
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I like your words in things I see
released by you yet sound like me
the flow and beat are very sweet
a ryhming feat, a writing treat
I haven't read any other stuff
but all in all I've seen enough
your friend sue cardwell penned
my ear I lend to you her friend
so now I'm going to make you one
a poet of ryhme whos poeming fun...
rudolf
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I am sorry to hear that she has left. A wonderful poet indeed.
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What a beautiful setting! I love white wine and this poem is a favorite too...I wish that I had written it...
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Simply beautiful.
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Oh MAN!!
Jeff this is the best poem I've read for a long time. The premise is spectacular. The flow is just superb and I know Lane would be proud. I think I talked to her last before she left us.
And yes, I remember the poem she wrote that prompted this and it was a superior write in itself.
You are a rhyming king sir.
I salute you.
I'd add more clappies if there was a way.
Paul
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This is beauitful!
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this has a sweety melody to it; very nice and flowy*
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There are some really nice lines in this, such as L7 - L10. The narrative is melodious and paints pleasant imagery, this piece can almost be sung.
Congrats on the amount of applause this piece has received and thank you for entering.
La x
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this is a beautiful piece!
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Impressive
Very rich imagery and impeccable end rhyme. I enjoyed greatly. -
Really came in on the peripheral side of the brain...
it eased it's way in and rolled nicely.
You set the stage for a magical fairy tale,
very original.
I enjoyed it a great deal.
Write something grand,
for you may be
entertaining Angels,
Unaware.
LOWELL POE
. Rewarded 6
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It just flows
I dont know what to say, but it flows off the tongue like the wine out of the glass -
Awesome writing... pure romance. d
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Very well written romantic piece. I liked the metaphor you used throughout, of the moon. Very affective title as well. I thought it was very good. Thanks for sharing, keep writing!
P -
I'm sure your friend loved this poem.
It is smooth as silk, and very romantic.
Thank you for sending me the link
WW (Leslie) -
fucking good
hi your poem is really good n can you look at some of mine n tell me wut you think cuz idk how mine are its hard for me to tell how good mine are or not
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Wow, this was amazing. I think you did a fantastic job at rhyming and your way of words is wonderful.
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This is a beautiful piece, one of my favourites on this site, definitely. I'll be back with a more extensive interpretation and comment soon, thank you for the privilege of reading this piece of art!!
. Rewarded 4
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great!!!! looks like someones gonna b thirsty, what good is a glass but no drink, ADD IT 2 YOUR SHOPPIN LIST!!!!!!!! oj oj oj, lol xx
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Beautiful, truly an awesome poem =)
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easy to read and it flows so well from line to line. Great job!
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How romantic and elegantly written!
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♥
There is nothing to say that can describe how i feel about this.
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beautiful!
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hey !!
nice poem , i like it very much , very pleasant to read -
I loved this piece and wanted so much to give it more than an HM...the competition in this contest was tough.
This is unique and imaginative. I wanted you to know how much I like it. I'll have more contests and if it fits please keep entering
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I wrote it a few weeks OK for Dalaney, and it resurfaced this week, then she removed herself from AP yesterday, although I don't know why. It is my best tribute to her and anyone who loves it is OK by me
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"soft sweet summer's night" This line really stuck out to me. I love he detail in this piece and i love the setting with the moon and the empty glasses. Your very talented and i can't wait to read more of your excellent work!!!
. Rewarded 4
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wonderfully written poem, I love the way you did this good luck on the contest!
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Wow this was beautiful! so romantic.. good luck in the contest
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This is really lovely. It certainly reaches the romantic part of me. Very well done in every way.
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Amazing, beautifully written; just beautiful. I love the rhyme scheme and alliteration. Best of luck,
. Rewarded 4
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Amazing!! This is a beautiful poem! I love it!!!
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this is a fine piece
you set the scene beautifully, follow through with un-assuming ease and end with such simple grace.
this is a poem which flows cleanly from start to finish. I enjoyed it quite much.
. Rewarded 4
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i have never read anything quite like this. very well done, very fine imagery.
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This was such a romantic piece to read. I could visualize the entire scene you described. The thought of the moon pouring the wine was such an outstanding thought. So magical and wonderful.
Soulful Woman
. Rewarded 4
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Hey I loved this . . . and I very rarely enjoy rhymed verse . . . very well written and I really fell into the image of the moon and the white wine . . . BRAVO POET!!!!
. Rewarded 4
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That's absolutely brilliant
I very much enjoyed this
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Sooo sweet and romantic, describes a beautiful magical moment. Wonderful subtle rhyme and flows easily without descending into mushy or trite.
Only HM? Blasphemy! I'm bookmarking this one, I'd like to enjoy it again.....and again.
. Rewarded 4
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sweet and casual
This scene you've described is a simple one, but three tellings strong. Terrific ending and bravo. Would suggest an entirely different line for the last couplet to replace "assistance to decline." It may be difficult to find that rhyme, so if not, no worries, but the moon pouring wine feels like it needs something just as personal and casual to accompany the action, to make a last perfect couplet.
. Rewarded 8
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Heavenly and romantic. Such unique thought and the rhyme and flow are perfect. Intense
here and the title is the snag
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you for the image. It is one we can all relate to.
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An absolutelly beaytiful poem. One of the most well written poems I've ever read. Very romantic.
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Beautiful...
It's As If You Can Imagine The White Wine Pouring, And The Cool Summer's Night....This Is A Wonderful Poem...Very Well Written...
. Rewarded 4
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imaginitive
I never thought of the moon as pouring white wine. i love poems about the moon, so beautiful and original. -
Beautiful
I loved this poem.A wonderful feeling came over me as I read it and almost a tear as I thought about it.
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Beautiful
Wow...what to say...where to start..
I really love this poem and am amazed at how the flow was never broken...not for one line. The Rhyme and imagery were executed perfectly.
You have real talent and I can tell you have written poetry for many years. Nobody can perfect the art of poetry, but you have achived a level of skill that not many can.
I thank you for posting this and givig readers such as myself the chance to read such a well written piece.
- Ðustin -
. Rewarded 8
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Wow
I really enjoyed this. A great tale within your words Also brilliant rhyming, felt so smooth
What a great ending I could definetly read this again and again
Cindy
. Rewarded 4
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very nice
very nice i like this it is cute also. imagine the moon pouring wine.very romantic tale also.good job and good win.i think i'll bookmark this
. Rewarded 4
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we all miss her
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AWESOME
this is a wonderful piece, the details and the rhyme. it is all so perfect. great work here.
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very lovely piece. not just full of love, but told like a story. good luck to you in the contests.
*R
. Rewarded 4
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its ok
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Woah.
that was a great poem, but i still dont see why you mentioned about the friends...i think if they were alone it would be much better.(and more realistic)
. Rewarded 4
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at that point of the poem they are friends, there are the same two in the garden all the way through, just at the end they may not be just friends anymore.
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