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The Great Triangle.

So Anna and I
drove that old Buick
through the sideways rain,
down by Deviation lane
to the jail house.
Past the road house,
Beyond the coffee house,
Then stopped by the farm house,
to twist one up,
for when we bailed out Jeffrey.

I'll never forget the sight
of that broken down soul,
standin in the rain
outside the jail house gates.

It was just a belly full of beer,
and a couple of angry women
that landed him there
in the first place.

We wondered why we bother
with this hopeless spirit.
Old Jeffrey owed everybody,
He used his arm for a pin cushion,
and his legs for losing the heat.

The heartland maniac,
tryin to hit the big time.
A blind man with a gun,
broke and hungry.
The original loose cannon,
With a heart as big as the sky.

That old Buick was the roof
over our heads
we always prayed for.

The vast endless highway,
it was all that we had left now.

Jeffrey had no one but us.

We just had one another,

But oh how we laughed.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

100 - 104 of 104     < previous  1 2
  • luvdrkchocolate
    June 16, 2007
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    Wow. This is great stuff that you have here! I love a good story poem and I liked how you laid this one out. There was just something about how you phrased things that I could just see everything with you and was all caught up in the story. I've known guys like Jeffrey but never got caught up in one of them. You really did a great job of story telling this and I think I'm going to bookmark it.


  • Andu
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe, yes, this poem is a bit confusing at first, but then it gets really interesting! and I like the poetic-prose hybrid you used, it told the story really well! Great write


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    June 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this story, very well told.

    whisper

  • Aurora Ceres
    June 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    okay...had to earn a few more points to give ya these...I really did enjoy this!!

  • Aurora Ceres
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, I will be honest...got through the first few lines and was like..wth? But got to this one 'We wondered why we bother with this hopeless soul,' and saw where this was really going. The answer to that was great...'The heartland maniac,
    tryin to hit the big time.
    Blind man with a gun,
    broke and hungry.
    The original lose cannon,
    With a heart as big as the sky'
    I really enjoyed the nostalgic feel...just some good ol boys havin some wild times...takin care of a buddy. The end about made me cry! Very nice!!

100 - 104 of 104     < previous  1 2