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Me, myself and i

Lustful delights, inspired by the patter of a heart

Alluring herself into a state of indulgence

Unaware of the dramatic effect, she

Resurrects your delinquent soul

Assuming responsibility for your erotic nature

 

Caressing your thoughts

Obeying your demands

Offering you a spice, that burns eternally

Pardoning your past transgressions

Evicting the scent of purity, she

Releases your soul.

 

Author notes

everyone knows
my paid heart (no one knows)

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Comments

1 - 66 of 66
  • poetology2008
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    asertive yet evasive,


  • Godless But Divine gold member
    January 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    She blossoms with light
    Lustful and delight
    Reddish her flesh is
    While her conscience start to fizz
    Pleasure she gives, without a thing in return
    She uttered her soul delight to the fire she burns..

  • davidwright silver member
    January 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice, the subleties of eroticism. Well written. Happy trails


  • Tercil gold member
    January 7, 2008
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    An exotic mouth watering piece, the senses have come alive to.


  • penman gold member
    December 31, 2007
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    Excellent

    What a terrific acrostic. You do know how to make them burn.


  • raggyann
    December 30, 2007
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    yes i agee teasing is the rightwords used for this poem
    but you wrote it so well


  • sidewinder silver member
    December 29, 2007

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    erotic... yet teasing within that romantic sense where a twinkle within one's eye makeone smile and heart go pitter, patter!

    Yes this did make me smile!

    keep penning on one stoke at a time!
    Bill


  • sassylibra0074
    December 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very well done


  • tlsledge
    November 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting wordplay. Good job.


  • Grateful
    November 24, 2007

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    i can see the elegance of passion in your poem. "Offering you a spice, that burns eternally" beautiful line. you realy know how to capture the essence of your pure emotions.
    all the best - sukhdarshan


  • macandrew
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully penned acrostic.
    My favorite: Evicting the scent of purity

    well done.
    John


  • green20goblin
    October 15, 2007
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    thats a very good poem,you are really talented,keep up the good work


  • Kram
    October 8, 2007

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    its good

    I like it but not the photograph,but the picture your words creat.....

    I mean I like the words written more than the photo
    ie even if the photo is not here the magical lines are able to influence the reader..that is what i meant.


    • PassionsPromise gold member
      October 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Dear poet, this indeed was an EXCELLENT write written about a beautiful lady. Her words create a wonderful picture of whom she is, a carefree, passionate, sincere and loving woman. The picture adds to the BEAUTY of whom she is. Creates a wonderous thought of how care free one can be, one who is in tune with herself, loves herself, as others love her. Now, if you didnt like the picture FRIEND, then you should of said nothing for no words needed to be said. I find that you had been rude within your comment. INSULTING to be the truth I would say fits better. The comment could of very well been left as "Your words created.... what?? Couldnt even finish that thought?? Maybe you did enjoy the picture a little more then you thought, that your thoughts couldnt be finished. hmm. Maybe.
      Anyhow. I would appreciate it if you would apologize for this comment and edit it or remove it.
      At least she deserves that respect by you.

      Tory
      Screename here: PassionsPromise
      Please do not submit reply to her you can go direct to me, for this comment was of my own doing, and in response to what i feel was a rude comment.


  • I will stand by you
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a good write keep it up.


  • Tecolote
    October 3, 2007
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    cute


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    September 11, 2007

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    Stunning

    Superb writing here. I love this. Brilliant imagery and the emotion is stunning in this. Well done for this great piece of writing.

    All the best
    Wayne


  • narrocks
    September 10, 2007
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    good one


  • Darkened Seraph
    September 8, 2007

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    lol a very good use of your name in this arrostotic formatt i like the imagery you created within this making you sound like a very kinky woman lol no wonder how i appeared in the world lol sorry i'll behave please dont put me on the stairs again

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    September 8, 2007

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    Well this is a wonderful way of looking at yourself, I love this piece, so well written

    Karen

  • jamesmike99
    August 19, 2007

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    wow you have a way with words...it was fun to read that
    but its an excellent write...keep up the great work


  • Shadow Lynx
    July 15, 2007

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    A natural talent you have for bringing out emotions in writing,this was a delight to read.I didnt notice until i read it the second time that it was an acrostic which i think is a tribute to how good it is as sometimes acrostics come across as a lil forced but this read beautifully


  • Airborne Ed silver member
    July 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I love your poem. Written is your unique style and your erotic grace. You really take the reader for a wonderful ride.... I love acrostic poems in general but this one... is amazing, just like you...


  • Jarrod
    July 6, 2007
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    nice acoustic, a hard technique to master but you have done a pretty good job!!


  • badfate
    July 3, 2007

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    Is this YOU !

    The way you make me feel,
    so alive,
    so wonderful,
    so real.

    Caressing my thoughts.


  • Deliverance
    June 28, 2007

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    Innocently read this

    Having read yours before
    And liked
    Them
    Even the freeverse ones

    Anyway,
    Can I be honest?
    Right then I will. This is the
    Only acrostic I can
    Stomach
    That's only because you wrote
    It!
    Congratulations!
    Sort of good.


  • FightOffYourDemons
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the diction.
    You used a lot of catchy powerful words.
    Good write.
    Thanks
    Nikki

  • Airborne Ed silver member
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    An erotic tenderness flows so beautifully from your inner soul to your paper. This is so beautiful written that you can feel a soft whisper begging you to be appart of your poem. And I can invision all the passion and desire surround me within this poem. It really is a tribute to the heartfelt skills you possess to write something like this.

    I wish you the best of luck in the contest you entered.


  • dixiebme
    June 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    My husband would like the picture. Good write. Good luck in this contest.


  • capricornpoet
    May 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    demon girl

    Whimsical in the nature of seductress,capturing the eyes and demons within men, for a little time, a little sin,


  • Idle Mind Wondering silver member
    May 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Quite an intriguing conversation you have had with yourself! Bravo!!

    "Evicting the scent of purity, she

    Releases your soul."

    Well done!


  • ibsons hysops
    May 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully HOT!

  • Slashes of Color
    May 13, 2007

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    Excellent expression and flow in this poem. It was a great read, not boring in the least.
    "Caressing your thoughts
    Obeying your demands" this was my favorite part, simply wonderful. GREAT JOB!!!!!


  • CherylAnn
    May 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OH MY

    you go girl...A wonderfully penned write with a added heat factor to it.You have penned this acrostic very well with much thought and an excellent word choice,the flow is wonderful and the picture fits to a tee.
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well, on a second visit, I find myself in awe of an acrostic with good meaning and an even better story line. I was captured by the use of decent words portraying a lustful existance, as well as an inticing picture. great job on this one Laura. glad I popped back in.


  • Kendall Campbell
    May 10, 2007

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    It wasn't a bad poem but it could be strengthened. The title is less than spectacular and I'd reconsider capitalizing every line. With the lack of punctuation things like capitalization play a large role.


    • Laura
      May 11, 2007
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      wow i guess you failed to notice the whole acoustic theme going on!!! i dont do end of line punctuation, that is just my style. and yes some dont like that but i could go on and ask why people use it when the line break causes a nice little pause xxx thank you for your comment and for taking the time in reading my poem xx


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow...I see you have bin inspired a lot here
    It was so cute to see a title I wrote myself a poem too
    But I must say yours is very well written with a lot of visions coming into some ones mind I think

    Well done dear poetesit was a joy to be in your little corner
    Keep on writing I say
    XXJeannette


  • shuvi
    May 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Neat

    really cute and original! loved the acrostic, was one of the best i hav ever seen!


  • Lexie - gold member
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Ooooooo

    This is a delicious little Acrostic if ever i saw one!
    i love the picture too,
    the word chice is superb and the flow is excellent, not an easy task with this form,
    very well done


  • love my jose luis
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great poem, it really shows the thoughts and feelings and everything. I think that you did a great job writing this and you should really think about that though, do you really want everyone to see you as that. I think that you did a great job though.
    ~ALix


  • Lady Australis silver member
    May 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nice this is really good
    i love the lines
    Pardoning your past transgressions
    Evicting the scent of purity, she
    Releases your soul.
    thsi poem is really awsome
    well done and keep writeing

  • SoulWhispher
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    You have penned a great poem here, tis both sexy ane tastfull, it touchs all who read it, I enjoyed both the flow and form, great job, John


  • esroddo silver member
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    You go girl

    Beautiful, senual, and with good taste. I loved it I applaud you sincerly. Very exciting piece. (Lisa)
    "Caressing your thoughts

    Obeying your demands

    Offering you a spice, that burns eternally

    Pardoning your past transgressions

    Evicting the scent of purity, she

    Releases your soul."

  • PalmettoSky
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well alrighty then! you littel vixen! go ahead now...
    I liked this a lot! thanks for sharing. keep up the great work. peace and light always in all ways, Kendal


  • MessedupMarionette
    May 9, 2007

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    Hmmm... quite good. Kind of vain (grin). I like it, although I think "Indulgent" was supposed to be "Indulgence".

    • Laura
      May 9, 2007
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      ohhh yes thanks lol vain yes it is its a poem about yourself through someone elses eyes!! for an inter group contest xxxx


  • mamad gold member
    May 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Do you want suggestions in grammatical changes?


    • Laura
      May 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      only if its typo's other than that it is set out like it for a reason but hey thanks for offering xx


  • Random Thoughts
    May 9, 2007

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    This is an amazing descriptive piece,
    So dark and sultry, full with raw emotion,
    I loved it.... Loved it


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    May 9, 2007
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    oo nice another amazing poem. you continue to amaze me


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    May 9, 2007

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    Well Laura you have done it again A most awesome write from wonderful poet!
    Gaylene


  • Blueskywonder
    May 9, 2007

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    This is powerfully expressed, your use of alliteration aand imagery have painted a pretty vivid picture. I like you!! Excellent.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    May 9, 2007

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    lol, this is good, i like this poem you got her, i mean that, keep it flowing my friend, keep it flowing this is good


  • Naridill
    May 8, 2007

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    Awesome piece! See all you peoples thought you couldn't do it
    I really do like the honesty in this! And the flow of the words!!


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    May 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's all your fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    That's all I have to say about that.


  • PerVirtuous
    May 8, 2007
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    Hmmmm. When did you borrow mye eyes? Three bunnies for this!!!


  • W B Burkholder
    May 8, 2007
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    beauteous in picture and in form and flow


  • The Cube
    May 8, 2007
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    Great work. I liked it. Good use of the picture as well.


  • JoyfulWriter
    May 8, 2007

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    Such an amazing piece...enjoyed the read and the way you did this acrostic....you go girl! Smiles, Terry


  • grannyeri gold member
    May 8, 2007

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    OOHHHH. This is very thought provoking, how nice. Interesting concept for this contest, liked the picture...


  • Whoochi gold member
    May 8, 2007
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    Oh forgot to tell ya, my outfit looks good on ya in that pic and Nor did a great job on your new hair color....

  • Whoochi gold member
    May 8, 2007

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    Evicting the scent of purity...I was going to say that was my fav line but then i found another, and another, etc...This is brill...describes you pretty dam well, I'd say...oh ya forgot one of the three classiest bitches you will ever know...but then that describes all 3 of us huh? WTG!

  • Redtearstains
    May 8, 2007

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    Love acrostics. This is really well done, is given me some ideas as for what to write for your contest.
    'Offering you a spice, that burns eternally'
    Ranchy but not too hoeish! Good work

  • Deliverance
    May 8, 2007
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    Yep, that sounds like her, the bloody tart
    Good write Laura.
    I thought for C you could have used cow somewhere


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    May 8, 2007

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    I knew you had other people in your head...lol This was very well done...I love the pic that you put with it.
    I love the lines:
    Caressing your thoughts
    Obeying your demands.

    Bravo, girlfriend...
    Soulful Woman

1 - 66 of 66