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A Dog's Life

Sixteen years, now almost seventeen,
I've played at stick and ball, stayed seldom still
until good master's call would whistle shrill
to lead me back - no need to smack.  Sight keen.

Sixteen years tail's wagged as faithful friend,
as boon companion, running round fun years.
His mother passed away, I shared the tears
that fountained forth and never seemed to end.

Sixteen years round each revolving moon
from hearth and home I pick up slightest sound,
ears prick, eyes bright, in sight I'm always found
to hold my ground, though often play buffoon.

Sixteen years, come rain or shine, we walk
twice, sometimes thrice a day, I sense each smell
around the house, know friends and rascals well,
and after dinner hear the table talk.

Sixteen years from pet to family,
from playful pat to priceless kith and kin,
I vet as threat who'd twins' affections win,
can smell a rat or chase cat up a tree.

Sixteen years I've watched the children grow,
suffered unruly hands that now caress,
I guard them still, still at the same address,
as I will willing till my turn to go.

Sixteen years saw summers shedding hair,
saw autumns' colours charm birds from the trees,
saw winter whiteness whose bare branches' frieze
prepared for springs unbounded, weather fair.

Sixteen years, milk - nap - home-made pap brew,
from toothless start, heart full, until depart,
toothless, heart filled beyond all man may chart,
life's cycle spins till ready to renew.

Sixteen years that gambolled life away,
with water, beef and bone, I’ve played at will.
Scents seem less sharp today, and soon I will
make my last bow, - still in thrill dreams I play !


Author notes


Puppy pic
http://flickr.com/photos/tswill/2443146360/



Old age pic
http://flickr.com/photos/aileenfotografie/1468196900/


-----------

Definition : gambol as opposed to gamble
gay or light-hearted recreational activity for diversion or amusement, play boisterously

Definition : frieze as opposed to freeze
horizontal band of sculpted or painted decoration

Definition : vet - wordplay implying 'case the joint' or oversee more than in the sense of animal doctor

-----------

In terms of life expectancy 1 'dog year' is considered to be the equivalent of between 6 and 7 human years. 16 is thus an approximate equivalent of between 100 and 110

Stanza 3 : John Dryden Absalom and Achitophel, pt. 1, l. 545-50 (1681) Zimri, as George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham

...so various, that he seemed to be
Not one, but all mankind’s epitome.
./.
But in the course of one revolving moon
Was chemist, fiddler, statesman and buffoon.


______

The initial poem wrote itself, drawn through and by a 16 year old labrador that joined four people in a small car for a long trip from Paris to St. Tropez for New Year 1991/1992 ...
... 'and thereon hangs a tail's tale'



In a list

A contest entry

Courtesy welcome and extended [Reward: double points]

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

298 - 396 of 841     < previous  1 2 3 4 5 6 7  next >  (show all)

  • Lukey
    November 4, 2007
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    Nicely done

    Very well-worded. You did a good job of capturing a dog's disposition and faithfulness.


  • Angelic Princess21
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering my contest. you have a great write here. i enjoyed reading it. best of luck in the contest.
    Angel

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    November 2, 2007

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    Not really a dog person, more a cat person, but i love the saying " a dog's life" Your poem is really very good, hope you get good rewards in the contests that you have entered. I see that there is lots of points up for grabs.

    Becks.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Mirthryl
    November 1, 2007

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    This poem would be made stronger by a consistent meter. You have taken on a challenge with the abba rhyme scheme, and done a nice job of it, overall.

    Stza 5, The wording has me a bit confused. In 16 years, has he transformed from pet to family member, kith and kin? was he a “playful pat” as well as “pet” before? And then I really get confused…The dog (presumably) “vet”s (my dictionary only gives me ‘veteran’ or ‘veterinarian’ as definitions) “as threat who’d twins’ affections win”…this doesn’t work as far as clarity!

    Nice phrases “gamboled life away”, “life’s cycle spins till ready to renew”.
    Honestly, I much preferred the original text, which had very nice clarity. The shorter length was also enjoyable.
    Thank you for your entry.
  • poster
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Emotional catalyst

    Well written wellspring emotional catalyst, and as has been said in some of the comments below

    Good choice of words and a great look into the dogowners' perceptions of heart and mind of lifelong loyal pets. Sympathetically handled composition which appears as a true tribute avoiding clichés and 'emphasizing understatement'


  • jcat gold member
    October 31, 2007
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    Sorry... clicked on this twice by accident. Its still good though....

  • lucy sky-diamond
    October 30, 2007

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    i think i've read this before, but once again, this is reali good! a lot of comments you have, but dont take the bad ones (aka the one two and four below) to heart

    lucy

  • bluejeans51
    October 30, 2007

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    This poem was cute! There were parts of it that seemed
    weird but what do I know. gambolled what does this mean??

  • knickerdew
    October 28, 2007
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    I have to say thank you for entering this, not so much because it's a goodbye letter but because it is a great poem. The authors notes were helpful as well LOL I was sure you had spelled gamble incorrectly.
    But because this is not a goodbye letter I can not consider it for the contest. I am sorry, this is truly an entertaining piece.
  • Tsukamei
    October 28, 2007

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    Fountaining tears, "come rain or shine", "kith and kin" - these are cliches, overused, common phrases and weak so try to stay away from those. For a completely unoriginal concept, and an awkward read grammatically, this piece was likable.

  • Marctheman
    October 28, 2007

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    This is search a well though piece, an honor to a good man best friend, sometimes a dog could be the most honest, and loyal friend we have, i remember my first dog, that dog would come and meet me half way from school, and we would walk home together, i felt so safe when he was with me, it was not in this country, here they have to be on a leach, can not be free like they should be, great piece just love it.

  • Darkstorm207
    October 27, 2007

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    Very nicely written I love how you did it from a dogs's point of view. By chance does he or she have a name?

  • ChinNoy
    October 26, 2007

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    good Poem with Good Choice of Words and a Great look in the dogs heart and mind a True tribute to a dog

    though i love dogs cant keep them as my mom sufferes from asthma always wanted one but i think will only have to be Happy without one

    but keep on writing a really good Poems and thanks fro Sharing

    . Rewarded 6


  • yogi59
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. The message was sharp as it was from a
    dogs mouth.Though many animals have become extint or distant in this mordern world ,still the dog enjoys its company with man.

    . Rewarded 4


  • harajukuprincess
    October 26, 2007

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    What a loving look into the heart of a dog. there is many times that i ahve felt such connection yo my own puppy (now 14 herself) and i can only hope she feels the way this dog does. And even though it was written at the dogs perspective it still felt human and endearing without big sappy or placating. thanks --hara

    . Rewarded 6


  • dark--angel
    October 26, 2007

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    wow very cool, all my family but us have dogs, and i think theyre adorable, this poem realy sounded like a good dog, keep up the good work

  • Gods-Artgal
    October 25, 2007

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    This is a great poem. I had a little dog for about 2 or 3 years. That dog was 7 when he got ran over.

  • earthstar
    October 25, 2007
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    I love dog poems and had to click on it. I have three dogs who I feel the same way about. Cricket is the oldest not as young as she use to be. This is wonderful tribute to man and women best friend. They are the love of my life, great work. Very enjoyable read.

  • magloveschrist
    October 25, 2007
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    me like this poem. great write. i wish i can come up with stuff like this. boy, i start to think i'm getting better and then i read poems like this and then i realize i have a long way to go. man, i wonder will i ever be this good. maybe you can take a look at my poems and tell me what you think. please. enjoyed reading


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 24, 2007
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    Wonderful poem amazing with great description Sounded Like a good ole dog Good luck in the contest Its a great piece I enjoyed reading and Good luck in your Future writes

  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem amazing with great description Sounded Like a good ole dog Good luck in the contest Its a great piece I enjoyed reading and Good luck in your Future writes

  • elizabethb883
    October 24, 2007

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    This is an amazing heartfelt write about WHY dog is a man's best friend. Made me miss my old dog, which I had for 14 years, who was a great dog as well.
    Thank you for the authors notes, I was gonna mention "freeze" was spelt wrong , never mind.
    I really love the rhyme scheme in this, I didn't even realize it though until I was 2 or 3 stanzas down, which was suprising. This stanza by far though, is my favorite::
    "Sixteen years I watched the children grow,
    suffered from untaught hands, that now caress,
    I guard them still, still at the same address,
    as I will do till its my turn to go."

    . Rewarded 8

  • oldpoets
    October 24, 2007
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    How we love our dogs. My two are now senoir citizens and no greater love is expressed but by a dog. Very nice write.

  • SilverButterfly gold member
    October 24, 2007
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    I love this poem! I love writing about dogs and yours is just awesome. The dog is telling the story of his life. Every stanza kept me wanting to read more! I related to this because of the dogs I've had all through my life and this poem describes them all!!!

    GBY
    SilverButterfly

    . Rewarded 6


  • funny girl
    October 24, 2007

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    very good

    What a nice life of a dog and so well described! If I were a dog I would be happy to have such a life. Actually, on the second thought, even as a human, I would like such a life. ;-) Well done!

  • DarkDreamer89
    October 24, 2007

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    That was a very lovely and touching poem. It reminds me of a dog that my grandparents had. I grew up with that dog and she and I were inseperable until she passed away almost 8 years ago.

    . Rewarded 4


  • arafura
    October 24, 2007

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    Excellent...

    I am a lover of dogs so this one really resonated with me. I have a female English Staffordshire Bullterrier... I think I'll read this to her! LOL!
    Well done!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Lost In Dreaming
    October 21, 2007
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    Awww. this is an amazing poem--thank you for pointing it out to me


  • Patpowersnoshoepoet gold member
    October 21, 2007

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    I can dig this Jonathan!!

    Always great to come back to this poem! You are one creative poet. Glad to enjoy the tributes to dogs. THANKS JONATHAN!!

  • Mephitic ID Synergy gold member
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You sacrifice sense for rhyme, which is not necessary if you take the time to find the right words.

    Have you read "Marley and Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog?" Changed me life. Anywho, it's a good example of how a dog story can be transcendent. One thing that makes the book so poignant is that the author gets into specific events that really involve the reader. You may want to include a couple such events in your poem, as it seems to go by entirely as summary, on a broad scope of time. I sense that you don't want the sad context of being to serious about the closeness of the animal to death, so perhaps you could just focus on happy events that convey his character

  • jcat gold member
    October 16, 2007

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    Very nice poem. made me realize I need to spend more time with our beloved dog. Thank you for the lovely write.

  • sewasham gold member
    October 15, 2007
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    I think I've read this before, but still worth another look. Take care and Have fun. Steve

  • Ithica silver member
    October 15, 2007

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    Any pet ownwer could feel the heart tugging sentiment you've expressed her. Animals give us unconditional love, more than I can say for most humans. The loss a pet after years of such companionship is devastating and life altering. For some pours souls pets are their only connection to another living being. You have captured the essence of all this beautifully. Good luck in the contest... Ihica

    . Rewarded 8


  • ea silver member
    October 15, 2007

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    This seems shorter to me this time, as I suppose poems sometimes do when you are familiar with them. Once again, an enjoyable read, and I have to say that the ones who screamed foul about your prerogative to feature this made me appreciate all the more the fact that there will always be those who can not write something like this to save their lives.

  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    October 15, 2007

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    We have spoken about your poem before, but until today I had not taken the time to read it.
    I am not a dog lover, but I can understand the poem. The rhyming scheme is good, but I found certain places did not flow as smoothly as I would have liked.

    I do however object to some of the remarks in your author notes. While I agree you are far more educated than I, I feel that I am being talked down to and by putting the definition for us to read, you take away some of the feeling of the poem.

    If I am interested enough to read your poem and I do not understand meaning or content, I would use a dictionary or indeed ask the author himself.

    That said, overall I enjoyed the poem and I am glad that I have at last satisfied my curiosity.

    Yours,

    Sue Cardwell.


  • DarkWind
    October 15, 2007

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    wow, that was beutifull i loved it and it almost made me cry thinking about my dog that recently passed away...great poem

    . Rewarded 4


  • Himler
    October 15, 2007

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    Great write here! I loved the whole poem and miss my four legged friend. Great employment of rhyme here.

    Looking forward to reading more of your work.

    Hugz
    HImler

    . Rewarded 4

  • Trafalger679Curious silver member
    October 15, 2007
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    Superb/Inspirational/Loving

    A very fine write indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme were fine. I think all care takers of four legged pets
    (and others) can relate to this one. A very fine tribute, as well.

  • xdavidxgrovesx
    October 15, 2007

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    great

    thanks for the great read! i really liked this peice and the repitition of "sixteen years" was really an effective way of getting your point across! keep up the good work1

    . Rewarded 4


  • Romanee
    October 15, 2007

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    This was wonderfull desciptive a real pleasure to read. I love animals and you descibed this dogs life in a beautiful and sincere way. This was real pleasure to read, keep it up, Romanee, xx

    . Rewarded 4

  • BabyCasp
    October 15, 2007

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    Wonderful

    Wow, these words, they touch my heart. Your words tell it in the view of a dog's life, really grasping at all the things a pet can feel and go through. I applaud you!

    . Rewarded 4

  • carole21
    October 14, 2007
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    nice observations

    a dog's loyalty is amazing . .


  • awannabepoet
    October 11, 2007
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    Having several dogs of my own, I can so relate to this poem. Life it beautifull at all levels and dogs are no exception.


  • aerop7n
    October 11, 2007
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    This is very unique. I love it. Can't wait to read more of your write. Kudos!
  • heroine marie
    October 11, 2007
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    It's very beautiful. I love it.

  • Ruvimbo
    October 11, 2007

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    Good

    Nice and good rhyming employed skillfully. Paints a picture of real pet and also the underdog in society if one takes a deeper look beneath the surface.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Chelseanicolex
    October 11, 2007
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    I just love your rhyming schemes

  • ricochet rabbit
    October 11, 2007
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    I love the cossonance in this poem. I also live the "light" tone of this poem and how you are able to get into a dog's head. In fact, you make me want to own a dog, even if their life spans are relatively short. Thank you for sharing this with me

  • Emo-Thexual
    October 11, 2007

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    Excellent read.

    My dog passed away recently and he had been part of the family since I was little..

    So, this poem spoke to me, and I am grateful that you have written this.

    A wonderful piece of writing.
    Keep up the good work <3

    . Rewarded 4


  • Kevin Moderators member
    October 1, 2007

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    hmm, repetition at the start of the lines bothered me - I prefer it in the middle or end. Also 3 or so times max...

    gambolled -> gambled

  • wiccanway
    October 1, 2007

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    i have seen this in the featured list for quite awhile and finally thought i would have a look, I am glad i did. I wasn't particularly fond of dogs until i got my current wolf/shepard hybrid and i wouldn't give her up for anything, i dread the day she leaves me. thank you for this offering.

  • Jfd
    October 1, 2007
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    This got me thinking about my own dog....def. man ( or womans) best friend =) great write!

  • untitledscream
    September 28, 2007

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    I LOVE IT! I have a puppy dog and as he gets older I worry about if he will be the same....

    Its awesome, there is definitely parts where it could have lost momentum but you really pulled it through 110%

    ♥ Linzi

    . Rewarded 4

  • Pale20Rider
    September 27, 2007
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    Great read,very tru
  • Nannar
    September 27, 2007

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    Very beautiful story poem.

    I loved every momment of this write as I am a avid animal lover. Dogs and cats I've had them all having lost too many to count or call. With loving care I raised them all still heart broken over the lose of one. But, thankfully I was able now to relive lost momments with each of them throught this write. I thank you thus and bid you a good night.

  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 27, 2007
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    Great write

    Yes as the one I wrote where the dog sees it all I find this very interesting

  • Ephiphany gold member
    September 27, 2007

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    I love dogs...

    funny thing though, I could never figure out the years verses ours , glad I read this, very helpful information, Excellent imagery on everything.

    ephiphany
  • farfromit
    September 27, 2007

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    good words

    i like that you used the word "thrice" i try to sneak it in to the science writing i do when i can because its one of my favorites

  • J aime Coudre silver member
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    We lost a pet not to many months back so this poem was especially poignant to me...thank you even if it was not written becasue of a lost friend...

    . Rewarded 4


  • Minato Namikaze
    September 26, 2007
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    nice writing keep up the good work

  • Minato Namikaze
    September 26, 2007

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    very sad at some points,yet other points are happy.that dog has lived a great life.

    you are apparently a great poet to wright something like this.
    check out this poem on my ,count k:
    fox cubs
  • beautifullyjaded
    September 26, 2007
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    I am so sorry. Beautiful. Brava. - bj

  • spanishrose
    September 26, 2007

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    Outstanding

    I am new to this sight. I chose your poem because having a dog once myself brought back the times we shared. As kids you just don't realize nothing stays forever. So with this I must say thank you for a poem of memories.

    . Rewarded 4


  • crazZze kay
    September 26, 2007

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    AMAZING

    FINALLY SOMEBODY SEES IT THROUGH THE DOGS EYES! THEY STAY WITH US THROUGH THICK AND THIN! AND YET HUMANS ABUSE THEM SO BAD! EVERYONE MUST JUST THINK BEFORE THEY STRIKE THAT DOG IT HAS TEETH THAT COULD EASILY CRUSH THE BONES OF THAT HAND BUT IT CHOOSES NOT TO BITE YOU! GREAT WRITE!

    . Rewarded 6


  • Wesley Storer
    September 26, 2007

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    Mature and Insightful!

    Bow Wow! I think doggies should eat people food right along with their masters because they are so important to their master's happiness, as your wonderful poems aptly point out. And I think they really appreciate it if the truth were known.

    . Rewarded 4

  • silversand
    September 26, 2007

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    the journey of the dog has been beautifully summed up who has shared the pains and joys of his master along with his own pains and pleasures.Its simple yet charming in its own way

  • goatee98
    September 26, 2007
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    awesome, you did a great job looking at it through the dog's eyes


  • Flames-of-Furey
    September 26, 2007

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    wow tghis is fantastic usually long poems i just get bored with but i absolutely loved it becasue it was a story and i was desparate to read on nice work love the ending. the first positive poem about death ive read so far :

  • SingLikeNo1sListenin
    September 25, 2007

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    very nice write and well wriitin i enjoyd reading such a beautiful poem thnxs 4entering and helping me to heal
  • gerrymailer
    September 25, 2007

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    Indepth Perspective

    As said by pseudo eternal-devotion below "I am truely amazed at your indepth perspective"

    so to add a few more words to those by Freelance also below "You did a wonderful job in displaying, "A Dog's Life," and I have to applaud you loudly in dog barks for doing so!!! I credited you 3 loud barks or even playful growls! " because without barking or beating about the bush in overstatement you have accomplished much with quiet style and proficiency

    . Rewarded 8


  • VirginiaDarling
    September 25, 2007
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    I think I may have already commented on this one before, but I will comment again and say it was a pleasure to read and a very good poem.

  • Barbara gold member
    September 25, 2007
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    Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end.... This poem reminds me of that old song

    (Thanks for your comment! No points awarded since you already got points for a comment on this item.... what? well, geeze.... I *thought* it looked familiar... )

  • eternal-devotion
    September 25, 2007

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    Very creative.

    My first impression is that you have with your words told just what a dog might be thinking so very well. Emotionally I can feel your love for this dog. I am truely amazed at your indepth pesspective. There is absolutely nothing awkward in this and I wouldn't change any thing in it. The title is perfect and the first line starts this off splendidly. The last line sums this perfectly and is realy cute. I loved all of this.

  • eleno
    September 25, 2007
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    thanx a lot. i take this poem personallly. my beloved dog died two years ago. i still cry when i remember. i loved her. she was family. thank you so much. great poem.

    . Rewarded 4

  • mmook
    September 24, 2007
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    great piece... thanks for sharing...


  • no win no fee
    September 22, 2007

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    I liked the poem but I think you went overboard on the comments. I think that most people know the difference between gambol and gamble and freize and freeze

  • Patpowersnoshoepoet gold member
    September 20, 2007
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    EXCELLENT!

    Hi Jonathan! BRILLIANT work and I truly mean that.Keep on adding on to this! To me this is a poem that will never end! THANKS!
  • ddannyboy
    September 18, 2007

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    NONPAREIL

    Perfect to a fault, the greatest beauty of the piece lies in its hidden meaning. Is man's life any different? I doubt.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Princess Perdue gold member
    September 17, 2007

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    I think this is a very well crafted piece of art and I applaud you...not just because I am a dog lover, but because I think this work is a true Gem. And to the person down there in the comments list ( Daphne R Slap ) you say dogs are disgusting, slimy and grovelly creatures....well I'm afraid that's exactly what I think about most people!. Anyway back to this poem....Brilliant and I love it.

    Shaz xx