Idlespectre• Show poetry

everything's so fucking beautiful.

i'm deep into the terror this time around;

i'm delirious & freezing & screaming & raw & eternal effulgent dead weight; i'm burying my life & burning every bridge i ever had; i'm so TIRED.

is this ever? stupidly glorious refractions; embracing you always in the glass, & i can see our silhouettes, i can bite the sun but i still feel an enormous guilt. language fails me.

i've got this string attached to my tooth, & i keep thinking the tugging helps but it won't come. i've grown to love the sting, though. what's the worth? what spark animated all this decorative ennui? something about my instability seems to fascinate, big deal.

what the hell are you people doing? gods, the absurdity made me fall to my knees yesterday in streets of nyc & laugh & laugh & laugh. a balding man walked by with the most ridiculous dog, and all the people in their boxes were maddening.

can i cut myself free? IS THERE REALLY FREEDOM? can i take a scalpel to this chest & crawl right out?

i want to be in the mediterranean, in the sea...floating, twining...there's friendly seaweed there, that's the word on the street. what's so attractive about broken things, anyway?


I will hold my awkward bowl,
with all its cracked stars shining
like a complicated lie,
and fasten a new skin around it
as if I were dressing an orange
or a strange sun.

-- a.s.