What is Alt.Write?
allpoetry.com/Column/1003467
It’s a new magazine dedicated to poetry that comes from a different point of view. It’s a quality of realism and grit – expression that cries out – a way of seeing through things.
What is Alt.Write?
We’ll know it when we see it.
We want you to do your best work.
Give it a shot - you have nothing to lose.
You need to try.
First Place – Gold, 300 points, possible publication and possibly an interview in AltWrite
Second Place – Silver, possible publication
Third Place – Bronze, possible publication
The following poets constitute the existing group at Alt.Write until we implode in a flaming mass of flesh, ego, and bombast:
Anasuya
billydavidson
considermegone
Desiree Darkk
edpeterson
jantastic
Martooni
onerios13
Scott Adelmann
slime
Son of the Moon
Totally Talia
Woodworm
Zara
We have decided to ask for new material only. All prewrites submitted to this point will be accepted, but we really want you to challenge yourself for this. Now, go out and make yourselves proud!!!
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Martooni, here...
I believe Scott has done a fine job of describing the type of work we're interested in for the first issue of alt.write, but i'd like to offer a few more tips and bits of advice (and since i'm the ad-hoc editor of alt.write, self-proclaimed grand poohbah of the editing staff, and original source of the brain fart we call alt.write, you better listen up and listen up good):
#1: Pretend for a moment that you are submitting your poem to a highly-respected literary journal (note: this would not include AP's AllWrite).
#2: We will pretend to be a highly-respected literary journal. We will then laugh so hard at this idea that we pee our pants.
#3: After changing into dry pants, we will gather in the Malaysian room for cocktails and cigars, and will complement each other on the insanely dense thread counts of our fine smoking jackets, which will be promptly followed by more laughter and peeing of pants.
#4: If you are still unsure whether your poetry would hold up to the ridiculously high standards of a highly-respected literary journal, you should probably finish your homework and go to bed. The bus does come early, you know.
thank you, and good writing...
allpoetry.com/Column/1003467
It’s a new magazine dedicated to poetry that comes from a different point of view. It’s a quality of realism and grit – expression that cries out – a way of seeing through things.
What is Alt.Write?
We’ll know it when we see it.
We want you to do your best work.
Give it a shot - you have nothing to lose.
You need to try.
First Place – Gold, 300 points, possible publication and possibly an interview in AltWrite
Second Place – Silver, possible publication
Third Place – Bronze, possible publication
The following poets constitute the existing group at Alt.Write until we implode in a flaming mass of flesh, ego, and bombast:
Anasuya
billydavidson
considermegone
Desiree Darkk
edpeterson
jantastic
Martooni
onerios13
Scott Adelmann
slime
Son of the Moon
Totally Talia
Woodworm
Zara
We have decided to ask for new material only. All prewrites submitted to this point will be accepted, but we really want you to challenge yourself for this. Now, go out and make yourselves proud!!!
---
Martooni, here...
I believe Scott has done a fine job of describing the type of work we're interested in for the first issue of alt.write, but i'd like to offer a few more tips and bits of advice (and since i'm the ad-hoc editor of alt.write, self-proclaimed grand poohbah of the editing staff, and original source of the brain fart we call alt.write, you better listen up and listen up good):
#1: Pretend for a moment that you are submitting your poem to a highly-respected literary journal (note: this would not include AP's AllWrite).
#2: We will pretend to be a highly-respected literary journal. We will then laugh so hard at this idea that we pee our pants.
#3: After changing into dry pants, we will gather in the Malaysian room for cocktails and cigars, and will complement each other on the insanely dense thread counts of our fine smoking jackets, which will be promptly followed by more laughter and peeing of pants.
#4: If you are still unsure whether your poetry would hold up to the ridiculously high standards of a highly-respected literary journal, you should probably finish your homework and go to bed. The bus does come early, you know.
thank you, and good writing...
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on January 22, 2005
- Rewards: Gold: 300
- Final notes: Thanks to everyone who took the time to enter our little contest. We all felt that the piece by Jennedin was just really the strongest (although there was no clear concensus.)
Honorable mentions:
2:38 by sensoryopia
Burnt Offerings by Sistatroll
We would like to chat with all of the winners (including Honorable Mentions) regarding possible publication in Alt.Write. Please contact martooni for more information.
Congratulations to all participants for some really good work.
Entries [16]
1 - 16 of 16
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Breast-deep in mutual bathwater;
Knuckle-deep in her.• Commented on by judge. -
I pledge allegiance
To you, Mr. Bush• Commented on by judge. -
please don't try to understand
either to even hold my hand• Commented on by judge. -
you're thighs
tongue, I tongue• Commented on by judge. -
Your undressing derivative,
delineates, turns to nectar,• Commented on by judge. -
I bottle up my anger
and send it out to seaby aboycalledtrevor 25 lines, 7 comments, on Jan 3 12:43 PM 2005. In Sad• Commented on by judge. -
Red roses wilt with weakened pedals
Children's eyes fill dark with tears• Commented on by judge. -
A mouth full of dirt
Unable to speak• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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A Treatise on the Theoretical Physiology of a Zombie, a Poem in Four Parts Based on the Meandering Conjectures of a Baked Man
• Commented on by judge. -
There is red that sets
On my table top• Commented on by judge. -
In the crevices of my mind
Where the canyons echo back• Commented on by judge. -
Quite possibly the decline L
of Western civilization is Aby angelofcleansheets 276 lines, 20 comments, on Jan 19 5:15 PM 2005. In Personal
Bronze trophy winner
• Commented on by judge. -
She held it between her hands, that greasy weight like the sloppy orange children’s toy it was, the kind six year olds throw at the walls to watch stick hairily• Commented on by judge.
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I'm just a milkypaste
Took ten years to waste away the apprehensiveness• Commented on by judge.
Add a comment
Comments
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WHHOOOOO HOOOOOO...let the SLAUGHTER BEGIN!!
Err...I mean, the contest...tee hee. And we reserve the right to stick our tongues out at anyone who DARES offends us with their paltry and despicable talents...and yes...if it sucks...NO SOUP FOR YOU! BUWHAHAAAAAA
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Hopefully someone will enter...
Edited on Jan 16, 3:41 p.m. because ''. -
You do realize that many will probably confuse the title of this magazine with "Allwrite," right?
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It is our sincere hope that they won't confuse AltWrite with AllWrite. The contrast will be distinct.
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Everyone's looking for everyone elses best. Because they know it will make them look better. Umn...what can I say? Duh. It's nice to see this honestly expressed though. Of course, what is good? I dunno. I just know what I like. And I try to write that. Good. Good is a stupid word. I use it alot when I only have something stupid to say. Almost any inability to articulate a comprehensive description of what you really want is good.
Edited on Jan 14, 10:10 p.m. because 'That's good enough, pig. -Charlottes web...or something like that.'. -
O! I didn't confuse it, do I get soup?
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I'm just saying, since the name sounds so similar, people might confuse the two, that's all.
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Don't you think they will figure it out once they read the contest description?
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I suppose. I'm not saying the two magazines will be confused in terms of content; I'm simply saying they might be confused in terms of name recognition and nothing more.
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I hate seeing requests for a person's best poem, but since you are asking for new writes I'll take that as simple encouragement. You all seem to be so sweet and caring and carebear kind of people... Geez I just want to hug you all ooshy-skooshy. I need some friggin sleep.
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This looks very challenging, but I am sure you will find some poems worthy of publication if the right poets enter. I have seen quite a few around here that know how to spin words into the finest pieces of art I have ever read and they don't even know it. If I find some inspiration I might even try, as you say you have nothing to loose and it wouldn't be the first magazine I got turned down for. I do like the idea to try and reach a place I've never been before. That alone is inspiring, so if anything I might take the challenge for myself. Do I sound scared? Intimidated maybe? lol I hope so because I am! That is good though!
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I see you guys are finally getting busy
cool beans.. yep yep
I'm a thinkin of enterin maybe -
Jenn -
Please, please, please enter. It would please us.
Scott -
An intriguing concept - made more so by the exceptional folks you've chosen to include on your staff.
BRAVA!
The challenge will be though to agree as a staff on the distinct quality you are seeking. (not an easy task with any 'committee'). If it were any other group of writers doing this I'd be tempted to see this as just another bunch of folks wanting to claim 'their' way is the best way without a hint as to what 'their' way is.
If it were any other group of writers doing this I'd predict a short lived failure.
If it were any other group of writers doing this I'd never have given this a second thought.
but yet here I am - looking forward to your first issue
and knowing I'm not edgy enough to enter.
Now (for those who don't know me well enough) THAT is a compliment.
Edited on Jan 15, 10:01 because 'thought some more about it.'. -
well okies then lol
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well` I cicked on here thinking it was a poem
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now what ?
I shall have to think about that !. -
As thought provoking as a nerd in high school
Interesting, thinking of trying this in a airplane full of gasoline to heavy to avoid even stray bullets or the aim of a childs' sling shot. But interested. -
Only for the best writers..out of my league, but I do wish you success with this contest and with the magazine.
Kisses,
Mari
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oneluckygirl -
You never know. You should give it a try and let us see if you are edgy enough. Many times we misjudge ourselves.
Scott -
mari -
Don't sell yourself short. You may be surprise what you can do.
Scott -
This certainly sparks my interest and if time allows and the intellect is willing, perhaps I will attempt to enter. Either way I think this is a wonder contest. People need to stretch their abilities and think outside the box now and then. We have a lot of talent on this site and I know many people are like myself and do not post all of their work on this forum.
Victoria Lin -
Whew.
Tough crowd ..makes my stomach all whoogly just thinking about it ..got the grit requirement down though - live at the Beach plenty of sand around grinding into my floors ..
Really looking very much forward to the Art of AltWrite. Will it be available to read here? or Elsewhere?
Lisa
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Lisa -
looks like we will be hosting it elsewhere, but we will probably promote it here (either on our own pages or through the Feature box. you better be writing an entry to this contest!
Scott -
this does seem quite challenging... i'll see if i can come up with anything that meets such standards tonight... otherwise, i'll definitely look forward to reading alt. write when it comes out... pen
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Jesus Christ...
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horus -
Just because you call me Jesus Christ, doesn't mean you have a chance. But enter anyway.
Edited on Jan 15, 7:17 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Why, I already blew my wad?
We'll see, sounds like a real hoot. -
Cool staff.
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I don't even stand a chance, so I will not be a fool. However, I will come back and read those who think they do.
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Hmm this is very tempting to me.. But I know that I will not have a ray of a chance of winning because there are so many talented writers out there that put me to shame... But I will be back to read the winner and I wish you all the luck in the this contest.
Jenn -
I would enter but...I don't think so. Have fun with your contest and good luck with your ezine.
~Destiny~ -
Fantastic idea actually. I'm in a state of mental retardation, or I'd try, but as it is I'll have to remember to check out what ya'll come up with.
Amanda -
it's a brain (with stem and nerve thingies) floating in... well... a snow globe, i guess. it's much more impressive here in the laboratory where you can see it squirming about.
as for any confusion between me and scott, it was purely unintentional. scott took on the task of running the contest (and no small task, either), and it looks like we may have a few entries we'll seriously consider for the mag. -
Me no understand. No idea at all. Here is a web-site where people write pooms. Some of them are crappy pooms. Some of them are rather lovely pooms, and slowly you make friends and talk of pooms and other Diversions. But then someone talks of Publication and writes Reviews for some glossy "magazine" which is exactly the same as this site except it's in a different font. And then, somebody else, clearly not a lover of Ariel 12-point or something, launches a breakaway "publication" in Courier 14-point, on a green background and all Hell is loosed, Cerberus he howls like there was no today, let alone tomorrow, and bitter gall flows through our sweet orchards of amateur Pooms.
What the zookingflumps is going on here? Why can't we all love each other and have sex with each other in Various Positions?
Also - though I think Scott Adelmann is a hero - I have to say that I am not on any "staff". My only employer is the Universiteh of Ull, so I cannot say anyzing bad about zem, and anyway they used to employ old baldy Larkin. I simply clicked on a screen when Martooni (who is another hero and I'd have a whisky or 99 with him any time) said "hey, how about joining our group". Not one to turn down a Bit of a Do, I clicked and here I am.
And now Lisa, who is lovely and one of the best manufactureurs of Pooms on our amateur computer-game, goes all upset as though some sort of battle had ensued. Me confused. Me vairvair confused. Me thought it was fun and now you have all spoiled it.
Edited on Jan 16, 2:06 p.m. because ''. -
it sounds like and interesting and unique contest.
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Oh not battle Worm ..just my concern of Poems too. Sigh.
Hey? Did you say sex in various positions? -
not to knock you or anyone else's work on AllWrite, but IS IT a highly respected literary journal? and if you READ my addition to this contest's description, you'll notice that i DO NOT consider ALT.WRITE to be a highly respected literary journal EITHER. IN FACT, i think i go out of my way to show (possibly in humor that goes over too many heads) that while we ARE SERIOUS about poetry, we DO NOT TAKE OURSELVES SO SERIOUSLY. Which seems to be a big problem around these parts these days.
AND THE FUCKER IS GOING TO PUBLISH NEXT MONTH -- I will personally send you the link.
We're asking for entries because THAT IS PART OF WHAT WE DO. WE PUBLISH FUCKING POETRY.
We're not out to steal any thunder from AllWrite -- we are here to provide something they DON'T -- which is an OUTLET FOR POETS WHO ARE DAMN GOOD, BUT WHOSE WORK GOES UNRECOGNIZED BY THE ESTABLISHMENT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MEET THE "PG" GUIDELINES ALLWRITE HAS TO ABIDE BY.
AllPoetry, BY DESIGN, is geared towards a GENERAL AUDIENCE. poetry NOT written for that audience is therefore NOT RECOGNIZED in any OFFICIAL AP publication. ALT.WRITE is intended to remedy that situation, hosting it OFFSITE, therefore PROTECTING AP and the easily-offended ears and eyes of its general audience from accidentally wandering into provocative, intelligent and insightful poetry by adults, for adults, and about adults.
Our group (need to delete the "staff" reference) project is rolling right along and much work has been put into this by everyone involved -- just like at AllWrite. We've got our webspace, design, articles, poems and much more either finished or in the works -- and it WILL be delivered next month.
You've been a great friend -- and as pissed as i am right now, i hope to remain friends -- and i know how you feel about AP and AllWrite and all that, but i think you're way off here, lisa.
We're knocking the ESTABLISHMENT, not the INDIVIDUALS. -
Yuppity. People's Font of Judaea launches assault on Judaean People's Font, in BOLD, CAPS, 14 point. Meanwhile, publishing houses issue pretentious postmodern drivel by their catamites, and snivel at us amateurs. Come on guys. Truce. Let's write poetry or something.
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i have a hover craft full of eels
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Do I know you?
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Lute weighs in, then weighs out. Lute never writes anyting provacative. Yay for magaziness. or not. Yup.
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This is a tobacconists.
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Hey! Izzat speeled rite?
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To the AltWrite Contest Group,
I would like to offer a note of apology. My comment expressing my feelings about this contest - specifically the original contest rules - was never intended to insult or upset. Rather I was sharing how what I read made me feel similar I suppose to the way I write whatever it is we are writing here in this wonderful, crazy and charming community of word-lovers.
As this is a cyber-community sometimes words can come across the screen in context different then intended or different if we were sitting around a table drinking a cold beer or two having a discussion.
As I have previously mentioned, I hold the writers I know who are creating this alternative magazine in high esteem.
Best of luck with contest.
Lisa
P.S. Apparently Martooni you haven't heard the joke that I am like a wood tick. Once in, it takes a helluva lot to remove me from your skin. I consider this an insignificant blip attributed to the beauty of mankind - we are all different and alike in many ways - different is not bad - just that different.
Peace.
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what is up with lisa? She is a wood tick.
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it's okay, lisa. ol'martooni got his rant out of the way and feels much better now. i just hope that you and others realize that our intent here is to poke fun not just at general-audience mags like AllWrite, but the elitist and academic ones as well.
as a general note to all: those of us on the alt.write team take our poetry (not ourselves) seriously, and if we come across as "elitists", well... people need to watch more Monty Python or at least look up the word "satire".
and one last thing, miss wood tick... could you please find a different spot to burrow... i'm finding it very uncomfortable to sit for more than five minutes at a time
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I hope you have much success with your new publication! It sounds interesting, I look forward to checking it out. There is room for all of us, methinks. I wish you well.
Becky -
Thanks, Becky. I hope you know that I appreciate the hard work put into Allwrite and Allpoetry. I think we are all sensitive to the tightrope that Allwrite must balance upon.
Hopefully, this new venture will give some more adult voices a place to be heard. -
Admittedly, when I first saw Altwrite offered up as a new creation - part of me growled, not because I didn't see the need for it, but of course because of the 'aim' it took towards Allwrite ( seeing as how I'm involved in that ). Frustrations aside - the cynic in me knows that the rougher IS neccessary here, and I'm all for realism, though I don't think it always has to be put forth through the use of 'body functions' or descriptions of them ( that wasn't a higher-than-thou statement ). Anyways I just wanted to say I wish you all the best success with this, and hope you do provide some examples of 'serious' poetry. Scott is right when it comes to Allwrite - it's a fine line of balance - not always the best one and frustrating for some of us involved.
Best of luck...
~~Lisa -
What would a woodtick tick if a woodtick could tick wood?
Also, me no like competition. What was wrong with the original Worm? Well, quite a lot actually but that's not the point. All these ticks wriggling their way into my wood. Well the Divine Cowboy just called me Boring, which is lovely, as boring is what woodworms do, you see.
Also: I take myself intensely seriously, but my poetry is Shite, so I demand a correction, so there.
How do you make acrostic without making a tick cross?
Bloobles to everyone.
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How come you have prewrites if there is no prewrite to enter? A bit confused. Kendhal22
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you sir, are no amateur.
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seems like a great contest. some interesting titles for sure. will maybe try this. thought id leave a comment as to not waste your points nor my chance at getting some points. but i think i may try the challenge too. good stuff.
Blu -
Hmmm an interesting contest indeed. I don't beleive I quite understand exactly what is going on with AltWrite, so Ima go check out that column now and see if I better understand it.
Take no offence... I'm just a slow person lol
-Ashley,
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You pee your pants a lot... lol I had to point that out. I would enter BUT I have no clue what Alt.Write is... I also don't think I have a shot at all. Anyway maybe you should think about changing you pants again...
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So that you don't lose extra points, I will leave my comment. Since I left my potty mouth and dirty mind behind many years agod, I believe that I'll just sit this one out.
Good luck on your contest and have fun. Hugs, Patricia -
curious
Will we need to wear diapers? -
Nah - much better without diapers, trust me.
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shit i miseed this one
hm
i dont think there are many here on AP who can compare to me
i don thtink i won the write like chasingtheday contest for nothing that i am prob the most alternative and unpredictable writer on the site.
if i had seen this last night i would have entered my latest post.
if you would accept a prewrite, but i kno you prob wont so....
no biggie.
il move on.
good luck.
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One word for your little group here "DEPENDS" then you wont have to change so much LOL!
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Woof.
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Oh. My gosh. I got bronze. Wow. Thank you! I feel honored.
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Thanks so much for the silver .. quite shocked as what I submitted seemed hardly Alt. But I'm honored as always to be recognized by the likes of all of you. Of course Jenny Jenn Jenn's poem was the Top Pick. She is the Beauty of the Dark.
Thanks again.
Lisa
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Oh, wish I'd seen this-- problem is, some of my writing is so, well, don't know if 'alt' quite describes how reallllllllyyyyy well, hmmm...unusual and one even wonders--myself, that is-- even if they are Poetry, but unusual and...
Okay, why am I posting, half asleep...This, However looks as if it was one helluva contest and oh man, your STAFF...wow!
Uh...and the comments are a riot, hah!
I have to check out your e-zine link, I am oddwrite, more than this, but glad youse guys have a sense of humor...and yeah, likely art!
YUP...
huh...
Yo, Hi, Scott A.
p.j. motown nutzerellina
Edited on Feb 21, 2:36 p.m. because ''.
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