Find out!!
Write One!!
Win 275 Points!!
Write One!!
Win 275 Points!!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on June 24, 2003
- Rewards: Gold: 275
- Final notes:
Balladeer: Well, this is my first contest and I must say I don't really care for judging too much. Selecting winners by inference declares selecting losers and I don't see any here. Everyone worked on this contest in their own unique way. Cinara and Mars obviously have experience in this structure and their words flow like honey. Maryannde introduced passion and lust into a villanelle - not an easy thing to do! TinaBrannon worked very hard on hers until she got it right, an admirable trait, showing good determination. Starstruck used very short sentences to make her work have more impact, a style not normally seen in villanelles and yet the results were very powerful. Symitar came up with the most unique (and funniest) topic for a villanelle I have ever seen...and even created new words for it, based on the drunken state Lucy found herself in - very innovative! Kalexi and Forsaken Tenor both used excellent imagery in their lines and all adhered to the rules of villanelle construction. They tell me I must make choices, though, and so I have. I thank each and every one of you for your participation in tackling a style the faint of heart do not attempt...best wishes to you all! :)
Entries [11]
1 - 11 of 11
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A Night Like This• Commented on by judge.
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The lush of petals by earth’s wetness fed
Then dried to withering roses left behind• Commented on by judge. -
Oh God…this driving ache!
As passions fire inflames• Commented on by judge. -
During silence, darkness will fall• Commented on by judge.
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You looked at me,
Uncertainly.• Commented on by judge. -
So tired of faking,
My heart is breaking.• Commented on by judge. -
Start a daily regimen,
spoon your way to better health,• Commented on by judge. -
Astounded by the way that I feel
Yesterday I met an angel in disguise• Commented on by judge. -
Hush now, darlin’, ‘tis not so bleak,
who knows what comes tomorrow,• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Oh good grief!
I'll tell ya what a villanelle is..a nightmare!!! LOL
i may gather the umph to try this..i just dunno...hehe
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oh wow... this will be hard, but maybe I'll enter this. I just hafta make sure i pick two good rhyming words.
For those who don't know, i'll make it easy on you. It's a nineteen line poem whose rhyming scheme goes as follows:
aba aba aba aba aba abaa
maybe tomorrow i'll give it a try -
My dear Lord in heaven! A villanelle! VACA SANTA! (Holy cow) I MIGHT enter this.
Sending Jesus' Forgiving Love,
Spandy -
*That's the spirit, folks!!! Yes, as VanyaVilya says, that is the rhyme scheme.....but that's the easy part.
Then you have to employ the following structure.....
First line of first stanza becomes last line of second and fourth stanzas. Last line of first stanza must be used as last line of third and fifth stanzas. First and last line of first stanza for a couplet to become last two lines of final stanza......got it???? Here's one of mine to give you an idea.....
The Enemy
I see him calmly standing there
So confident and void of fear
Mocking me with icy stare.
Unable to escape his stare
Of confidence combined with leer
I see him calmly standing there.
Sarcastic monster! How he dare
To criticize my weak veneer
Mocking me with icy stare.
Remindful of an old nightmare
Recurrent in my early years
I see him calmly standing there.
Fiend from darkness! How he bares
My soul with evil grin so queer
Mocking me with icy stare.
I strike at him with hatred bare!
But, through the shattered cracks of mirror,
I see him calmly standing there
Mocking me with icy stare.*
ok....go for it!!!!
Edited on Jun 16, 7:44 p.m. because ''. -
Good Lord...Im exhausted! Winning means nothing, LOL, just getting through this was an accomplishment! My best to all who dare to tread here! Thanks Balladeer, you certainly made my brain work..:) and thats a good thing!
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Questions: Can we enter more than once and if so what is the maximum number of entries? I was thinking of entering two, is that ok? Can we enter previously written poems as well? I was thinking entering a new one and old one as well.
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Multiple entries are fine, Tina, as are previously written poems. Sorry I didn't touch all the bases...first contest for me
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almost impossible
Oh my goodness this is gonna be hard, but it looks like FUN! Least I found it early so I got a while to play with this
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Hi, Balladeer
I edited my poem, please let me know if I did it right this time,
, I think I did Man, this was a great challenge:)
Take care,
Karen
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I'm thinkin' on it.
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Ok well i entered. I think a more detailed explanation of the form would be helpful for entrants. My understanding is that a villanelle has lines that are either all pentameter or all tetrameter. I don't know if that detail was included with the other definitions of the form, but I think the consistant rhythm generally makes for a more effective villanelle,
nice contest -
for good villanelles check out:
William Empson: http://oldpoetry.com/authors/William%20Empson -
Thank you all for your participation.
Mushika, of course a more detailed explanation would have been helpful. That's why I didn't give it. This was designed to get poets unfamiliar with the form to think, to investigate, to find out on their own. There are a zillion websites which can describe poetry form in great detail. I admire more the people who make the effort to find out over those who just say 'tell me how to do it.' The internet is the greatest source of information in history...it's good to use it.
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I tend to agree, but there is a fair amount of misinformation out there too. People could be pulled in a few dozen directions. I don't mean to be critical, but it seems like none of the entries (that I read) are villanelles with the exception of Cinara's withering roses piece, so I would say the approach did not work. Poetic forms often have very subtle elements. For instance with the villanelle, the repeated line should have a change in tone and meaning throughout. (I know you know this, but I am writing it for the benefits of others who do not). That is one doesn't just repeat the line, but the meaning of it shold grow, develop and change as the poem progresses. So when Dylan Thomas writes:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
the meaning and tone of the first line even the very structure of the writing is different than when he writes:
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
in the next stanza, or in the fourth:
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
in each place there is a subtle but marked shift in meaning and tone. This small detail is at the heart of the form.
Also, the villanelle is an incantation of sorts, it should have a mantra quality and the idea of it achieving this with lines of wildly varied length and meter is preposterous. The unevenness of the lines will break the solemnity of the form.
Sorry for this, I will withdraw my entry because I have been indirectly critical of the others here, and that is not fair, they should be judged as the best villanelle by whatever standards you see fit. However, if someone were searching the internet for villanelle information and came across this page they would, after reading the poems, depart with an incomplete and incorrect impression of the form.
Edited on Jun 20, 12:05 because ''. -
mushika..
Also, the villanelle is an incantation of sorts, it should have a mantra quality and the idea of it achieving this with lines of wildly varied length and meter is preposterous
There is no doubt that the villanelle was originally created to describe literary imitations of rustic songs, however no where that I know does the form state that it need be in iambic or have a set number of syllables per line. The author may use whatever interpretation he chooses without fracturing the rules. As quoted by Ron Padgett in "The handbook of Poetic Forms"...
"This French syllabic form has no set number of syllables per line; common choices seem to be between eight and eleven. (English versions of the villanelle sometimes appear in accentual syllabics, featuring a perennial favorite, iambic pentameter"
So, I believe what you are saying (and what I agree with wholeheartedly) is that iambic with a set amount of syllables falls much more favorably on the ear...however that does not mean that villanelles that do not are incorrect villanelles.
As with many forms, it is very difficult to describe the perfect villanelle. Take for example this one by Sylvia Plath...
Mad Girl's Love Song
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary darkness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said.
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I could point out the "near" rhymes of fade/dead - again/in - as well as I could point out the change in meter from iambic to trochaic in the 11th line, but will I call this an unworthy villanelle? LOL! Not me....who considers Sylvia Plath one of the most brilliant writers of our time.
Oscar Wilde uses anapestic in the second line of the first stanza of his vilanelle Theocritus, the only place in the poem where that is used..
O SINGER of Persephone!
In the dim meadows desolate
Dost thou remember Sicily?
Does that make it an incorrect villanelle? Beats me....
To state with such certainty what the form "should have" or "must have" or is preposterous without requires a better mind than mine. I can only go by my learnings that there is a flexibility factor which allows for deviations, whether or not the conflict with my personal tastes.
I don't mean to be critical, but it seems like none of the entries (that I read) are villanelles with the exception of Cinara's withering roses piece, so I would say the approach did not work.
They are villanelles but they may not be the villanelles in the form you prefer. As far as the approach not working I must wholeheartedly disagree. I believe that participants in this contest have benefitted from the exposure and new knowledge found of this style. Some people who had no idea what a villanelle was now do. Learning and improving is everything. If one person has learned something new from this contest I consider it a success, no matter if they were able to master it or not.
Hey, let's face it. This contest, along with the others, is for imaginary points on a poetry site among poets and wannabees of all degrees. It's not to select the new Poet Laureate of Canterbury. It's simply a place to work on a craft we love and I believe that those of us who have had some experience in writing and in form & structure should expose others to it who have not had the opportunity. So, not, I will not consider this endeavor a failure no matter what the entries are. People tried....that's what counts to me.
I appreciate your words and thoughts and the depth of your comment, sir, and the opportunity to discuss differences of opinion with you.... -
ah sheesh. Is my villanelle wrong!? puzzled
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I edited my 'villanelle' so hopefully it is correct now
*rose*
Edited on Jun 21, 3:43 p.m. because ''. -
I came, I sawed, I writ. And now i see you have this meta thang. Geez, whatever will you think of next?
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