K, so to make a long story short, I started dating my best friend cuz he said he loved me, and before that he liked my best friend, unbeknownst to me because she didn't say anything. While we were going out, he got really physical and it made me really uncomfortable, so over Christmas Break, I made a pact to stop it. After that, he said we could be 'just friends' and basically ignored me for three months. After that, we were in a play together and he started liking me again, so he asked me to be in the group, and I told him that I was a cutter, and it totally freaked him out, but he thought he could fix me. On the ride home from state, he changed his mind and asked me for an alone talk. He had been acting like he liked me again, so I asked him if he wanted us to get back together (I was neutral on this point.. just BARELY forgiven him) and he said, 'I can't, it would destroy me' he never said eh didnt' want to, and he never explained why or how it would 'destroy' him. Then he started spreading rumors about me being a ho, and sleeping with all these guys,and he told his friends about me cutting so I had all these counselors breathing down my neck and it really ticked me off. Then, during the summer, he would IGNORE everybody around me.If I was talking to somebody, me and that person didn't exist. THEN, here's the clincher, I finally found it in my heart to forgive him, and I sent one of my friends to say, 'ok, dude, I forgive you' I didn't think anything else of it, BUT THEN HE FREAKING COMES BACK TO OUR HANGOUT SPOT, AND STARTS TALKING AND JOKING LIKE HE ALWAYS USED TO DO, AND HE'S STILL MAKING THESE LITTLE SNIDE COMMENTS ABOUT ME!!!! Trouble is, my biggest advocate hates his guts and won't come to our hangout spot if Haden is there (Haden is the backstabbing jerk I'm talking about) so nobody sticks up for me when he decides to have a little, 'tear-Dori's-self-esteem-down' session. I freaking hate this... but I told him I forgive him, and I dont' want to feel like my friends are ditching me for him.... again!!! I want a poem describing what to do... or maybe just a prose or a letter SOMETHING like that because I'm going crazy again, and if my emotions get the better of me, I start getting these stupid panic attacks and cutting, and I dont' want to go back to therapy, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me!!!!!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on October 20
- Rewards: Gold: 458, Silver: 50, Bronze: 40, Honorable mention: 4 people
- Final notes: I added more finalists cuz they were just soooo good! thanks for all the advice. ^_^ It really helped me. Sorry it took so long, I had to take a couple polls. I know I didn't say I was going to use a rubric, but something of that sort came into it ^_^ I was really pleased that so many people have advice to offer on this subject. Gracias to all for entering and for making this a freaking tough contest to judge!
Contest Winners
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by halfpast4ever 38 lines, 18 comments, on Apr 10 2:49 PM. In life, love lost, picking up peices.
Gold trophy winner
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
what do you do when the Sun has gone out
the Fire, extinguished, emotions in doubt• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
by lilangelsnemesis 46 lines, 1 comment, on Sep 30 11:19 AM. In Sad, Society, Angst
Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
DD ~
I know exactly where you are coming from, though I must admit those years are now behind me, the feelings and memories form those times till remain. Like you I was a cutting, I stoped cutting about 3 years ago, thought h• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [18]
1 - 18 of 18
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by Black JaPanther 6 lines, 22 comments, on Jan 27 8:31 AM 2008. In Fantasy, Fiction, Contest, Hope, Life, Love, Nature, Spiritual, Inspirational.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Once pure and innocent, I had died and was reborn a new.
All because of one person and that person was you.• Commented on by judge. -
now you're thinking
screw the boy!!by NightBreaker 62 lines, 1 comment, on Oct 6 9:53 PM• Commented on by judge. -
Knock me out and make me believe / Love is all I ever wanted / Mend my heart with kisses and lies / / Tie me up and leave me to die / Reco• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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He's just mad, that he can't get what he wants.
You need to show him, that, spite your irrational behavior,by xBloodPromisedx 12 lines, 1 comment, on Oct 13 3:27 PM• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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• Commented on by judge.
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You won't leave me alone.
Why don't you just go away.by Spooky Black Wolf 15 lines, 6 comments, on Feb 24 9:17 AM 2006. In Other• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Advice
Although I could enter your contest, I'm not going to. I know how you feel. I used to be a cutter and I have learned one very important thing: If you don't want it known, don't tell ANYBODY! As for this guy, you need to drop him like a ton of rocks. Tell him to go fuck himself and while he's at it, take his buddies with him. You will learn who your true friends are. He's not one of them. Just remember that sooner or later, you're never going to see him again. It really doesn't matter what those people think of you anyway. Don't let some assholes tear you down. You will always encounter people like that throughout your life. Just remember that there are people who care about you and would like to see you do something better with your life. I may not know you, but I hope that in some small way, this will help with your problem.
~Audrey Rose~ -
Just shoot him, he's an ass and just wants to get laid. The hell with him, his friends and any who put you down. You don't need that or them. Loose the whole bunch of them... Scott
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advice
well, it seems like your in a wee bit of trouble lasy... haha sorry.
All I can say about your little problem is that if he truly loved you, then he wouldnt have done this. Im thinking that he wanted to get close to you so he could get some dirt on you. If he truly loved you, he would never have done that. He would have tryed to help you, if possible, and accepted you for you. He wouldnt have told every body about you cutting, he would have kept it a secret because you didnt want anyone to know. What he doesnt get is that a girls heart is a very fragile thing, no matter how strong we try to make our selves. He was a jerk and he has no respect for women at all. I dont think you should put your time into forgiving him and having all your freinds that like and respect you walk out on you because they know that he is a lost cause. I think you should tell him good-bye for good and spend time with the people who REALLY care about you. I had the same problem at one time, but I realized that he was a total jerk and he wasnt worth my time. I think you should too. We cant have men walking all over us. We need to stand up and be proud. We cant be afraid to tell them they can go butt fuck there little pals if they want to be a jerk to you. (I have nothing aganst gays, just trying to make a point.) -
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Wow. I have a poem that might help with the cutting and panic attacks. But for the buy trouble, I'll enter and see what I can do. Here's the link for my poem (Be sure to read the comments thoroughly).
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5671631 -
'and I told him that I was a cutter"
GROWTHEFUCKUPANDFINDADIFFERENT
ANDHEALTHIERWAYTOSUCKLEFORATTENTION
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