toto_love@msn.com (12:22:11): eraghfjndnxgvcuiabwhjef rgjoehruabijwlhjaenfmcvx uihbjlw ,eFADSVZFHIUBJLREnwfm.,dzfhjklnmdrfcvxhui bhjlnamr fcjuinkla,gmr e,dfvc...
toto_love@msn.com (12:22:33): (that's the noise my brain makes I make when i'm thinking...)
Otgoss (12:22:52): ...I'm going to have to quote that for the contest...
And I did.
Well welcome people to yet another repetitive and mundane contest saturated in boredom and disappointment. But we are not coca-cola; we are coca cola with lemon!!
Which is just as bad as coca cola only it gives you that strong lemony taste which in general; makes it even worse. But oh well...
To get to the point; this contest is a rounds contest based around 3 judges (we were going to do five but it turned out 2 of them had lives so we don't know if they'll ever come back) where your poem if entered will get three comments. Varying from 1-3 applause (we're never not going to give you applause unless there's an overthrowing at which the other two judges wish to control me and steal all my remaining points; if that were to evidentally happen then I'm sorry I could not give you any applause or clappy signs with no legs desperately trying to climb up the screen with an intoxicated grin).
"So that's it? I just have to impress judges? PSSSH!!! Piece of dried up squirrel cake. I bet you don't even have opinions and will just write "aweeeessooome poetry and good luck in the contest"
Oh naive soul I wish it were that simple; you see I have an awkward taste in poetry. It's like someone who can drink urine with wine without vomiting or flinching, or spend hours writing a contest description like they're in a drunkern daze awaiting their clarinet to return from that damn music shop. WHERE IS IT!!!?
Simply put; you're going to need to satisfy the tastes of each judge if you are to ever get through. And I know for a fact that most of us have at least an "irksome" outlook on poetry.
But firstly a few beefs to deal with:
Naive soul: Ooooh!!! You're all under 20!! HAHAHAHA!! I'm sooo not going to take you seriously. For I; I am an official adult!! Look at my back hair in all it's humanitarian glory!! Oh and I get my pension in less than half a century. And...and...I have seven dogs!! SEVEN!!
It's true, we are all under the age of 20 (wouldn't be the case if the OTHER JUDGES WERE HERE!!!) But if you think this is a reason to be uppity and sniggery (not a word) then be my guest. I won't stop you; will probably laugh with you. But it will just make you look like an arrogant child. And that's not attractive; no...donkeys get it so you should be able to get it too.
Naive soul #2: I HAVE A BEEF WITH THEM JUDGES I AM GOING TO SHED MY OPINION ON THIS BLAH BLAH BLEH BLEH BLEH!!!
If any of you have personal issues or problems with any of the judges outside of the contest (that includes stupid cyber slating which in my opinion is rather ridiculous) please keep them to yourself and inside your gigantic brains that are beyond the ideas of subtlety. Any grudge poems must be purely metaphorical (e.g. Judge = Bobo doll).
Naive Soul #3: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEURGH!!
Love you too.
Another Note: Any poetry we deem as bad is entitled to being brutally slaughtered. I've been in so many contests where I acted like I enjoyed every poem and I want to at least try and act like an unlikable penis head; is that not the dream for all males? And I'm the only male judge and the only British Judge. Therefore I'm entitled to act like I have low self-esteem and abuse the repetitive and boring poems.
Speaking of which this section will state what each judge enjoys in poetry:
Progandother: Abstraction is the key, if you are able to make a theme that is purely individual or randomly sporadic and all over the place then my brain will have a seizure and then give you THREE APPLAUSE!! I prefer poems that are extreme in length. Either insanely long or insanely short. I normally look at the structure and metaphors of the poem first and then make up my own literal meaning with the use of my own theories of semantics. And I like to use big words to make me seem more clever then I actually am...BLEH BLEH BLEH!!! My beefs are simple rhyming structures and pulses; and of course emo poetry that is intensely cliched will make me rage.
DecorusApparatus:
Hello hello! First up, well done for reading through all Oliver's nonsense... by the final round I expect you too will have mastered the art of SKIMREADING!! Anyway, I'm supposed to tell you what I like in a poem.
Right, for me what makes a poem is the word choice. I'm probably the judge that will favour rhyme the most BUT that does not give you space to abuse it! It's important that your poetry captures an image and embraces all elements of perception and beauty. You can throw any form at me as long as you do it well.
I will murder cliche before you can say "OMG MY SOUL BLEEEEEEEDS!!!".
To really blow me away, tie together abstract metaphors, blue balloons, a severed foot and some rose petals and I'll love you forever.
Basically... make me love the English language.
Over and out, poppets!
--Katie.
Chainsaw:
I am like Oliver in that I prefer abstraction, but unlike Oliver, I prefer that abstraction to have some sort of MEANING or PURPOSE
Strong emotional drive is also important to me.
Unlike Katie, I prefer unconventional, unstructured, non-rhyming not-poetry, but I will tolerate rhyme provided it is done effectively.
I love confronting, graphic imagery. I love gutsy obscenity. I love unexpected combinations of words and so many metaphors in such a short space that my brain will explode. I love poetry that deals with contravertial topics. I love stream of conbsciousness. Most importantly, I don't favour fiction, because I feel you have to have experianced something to REALLY be able to write about it.
At the same time as all of that other stuff, as much as this may sound contradictory, I like the subject of choice to be approached in a mature and intelligent fashion.
Good luck!
Serena
P.s. I appologise in advance if I am a little less efficient than the other judges, as I have a life to attend to and exams to prepare for and assignments to finish!
You need two out of three judges approval of a "yes" (or some stupid code word...actually that would be kind of...stupid?) then you move on to the next round. Where each judge will make a mini contest and you must enter one of them. If you rank up high in one of those contests there will then be a final round of judging with new contests and NO PREWRITE!! ("Oh my god!! I can only do teh prewrites I ish going to mutilate myself!!)
I think that's everything; NO WAIT!! The points quantity will increase. Because of the time differences some people went to bed and they will be adding more to the pot. So stay tuned.
I expect to see something mind boggling. If not I will make sure Kevin is late for his next dentist appointment. And no mods will be able to stop me!!!
toto_love@msn.com (12:22:33): (that's the noise my brain makes I make when i'm thinking...)
Otgoss (12:22:52): ...I'm going to have to quote that for the contest...
And I did.
Well welcome people to yet another repetitive and mundane contest saturated in boredom and disappointment. But we are not coca-cola; we are coca cola with lemon!!
Which is just as bad as coca cola only it gives you that strong lemony taste which in general; makes it even worse. But oh well...
To get to the point; this contest is a rounds contest based around 3 judges (we were going to do five but it turned out 2 of them had lives so we don't know if they'll ever come back) where your poem if entered will get three comments. Varying from 1-3 applause (we're never not going to give you applause unless there's an overthrowing at which the other two judges wish to control me and steal all my remaining points; if that were to evidentally happen then I'm sorry I could not give you any applause or clappy signs with no legs desperately trying to climb up the screen with an intoxicated grin).
"So that's it? I just have to impress judges? PSSSH!!! Piece of dried up squirrel cake. I bet you don't even have opinions and will just write "aweeeessooome poetry and good luck in the contest"
Oh naive soul I wish it were that simple; you see I have an awkward taste in poetry. It's like someone who can drink urine with wine without vomiting or flinching, or spend hours writing a contest description like they're in a drunkern daze awaiting their clarinet to return from that damn music shop. WHERE IS IT!!!?
Simply put; you're going to need to satisfy the tastes of each judge if you are to ever get through. And I know for a fact that most of us have at least an "irksome" outlook on poetry.
But firstly a few beefs to deal with:
Naive soul: Ooooh!!! You're all under 20!! HAHAHAHA!! I'm sooo not going to take you seriously. For I; I am an official adult!! Look at my back hair in all it's humanitarian glory!! Oh and I get my pension in less than half a century. And...and...I have seven dogs!! SEVEN!!
It's true, we are all under the age of 20 (wouldn't be the case if the OTHER JUDGES WERE HERE!!!) But if you think this is a reason to be uppity and sniggery (not a word) then be my guest. I won't stop you; will probably laugh with you. But it will just make you look like an arrogant child. And that's not attractive; no...donkeys get it so you should be able to get it too.
Naive soul #2: I HAVE A BEEF WITH THEM JUDGES I AM GOING TO SHED MY OPINION ON THIS BLAH BLAH BLEH BLEH BLEH!!!
If any of you have personal issues or problems with any of the judges outside of the contest (that includes stupid cyber slating which in my opinion is rather ridiculous) please keep them to yourself and inside your gigantic brains that are beyond the ideas of subtlety. Any grudge poems must be purely metaphorical (e.g. Judge = Bobo doll).
Naive Soul #3: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEURGH!!
Love you too.
Another Note: Any poetry we deem as bad is entitled to being brutally slaughtered. I've been in so many contests where I acted like I enjoyed every poem and I want to at least try and act like an unlikable penis head; is that not the dream for all males? And I'm the only male judge and the only British Judge. Therefore I'm entitled to act like I have low self-esteem and abuse the repetitive and boring poems.
Speaking of which this section will state what each judge enjoys in poetry:
Progandother: Abstraction is the key, if you are able to make a theme that is purely individual or randomly sporadic and all over the place then my brain will have a seizure and then give you THREE APPLAUSE!! I prefer poems that are extreme in length. Either insanely long or insanely short. I normally look at the structure and metaphors of the poem first and then make up my own literal meaning with the use of my own theories of semantics. And I like to use big words to make me seem more clever then I actually am...BLEH BLEH BLEH!!! My beefs are simple rhyming structures and pulses; and of course emo poetry that is intensely cliched will make me rage.
DecorusApparatus:
Hello hello! First up, well done for reading through all Oliver's nonsense... by the final round I expect you too will have mastered the art of SKIMREADING!! Anyway, I'm supposed to tell you what I like in a poem.
Right, for me what makes a poem is the word choice. I'm probably the judge that will favour rhyme the most BUT that does not give you space to abuse it! It's important that your poetry captures an image and embraces all elements of perception and beauty. You can throw any form at me as long as you do it well.
I will murder cliche before you can say "OMG MY SOUL BLEEEEEEEDS!!!".
To really blow me away, tie together abstract metaphors, blue balloons, a severed foot and some rose petals and I'll love you forever.
Basically... make me love the English language.
Over and out, poppets!
--Katie.
Chainsaw:
I am like Oliver in that I prefer abstraction, but unlike Oliver, I prefer that abstraction to have some sort of MEANING or PURPOSE
Strong emotional drive is also important to me. Unlike Katie, I prefer unconventional, unstructured, non-rhyming not-poetry, but I will tolerate rhyme provided it is done effectively.
I love confronting, graphic imagery. I love gutsy obscenity. I love unexpected combinations of words and so many metaphors in such a short space that my brain will explode. I love poetry that deals with contravertial topics. I love stream of conbsciousness. Most importantly, I don't favour fiction, because I feel you have to have experianced something to REALLY be able to write about it.
At the same time as all of that other stuff, as much as this may sound contradictory, I like the subject of choice to be approached in a mature and intelligent fashion.
Good luck!
Serena
P.s. I appologise in advance if I am a little less efficient than the other judges, as I have a life to attend to and exams to prepare for and assignments to finish!
You need two out of three judges approval of a "yes" (or some stupid code word...actually that would be kind of...stupid?) then you move on to the next round. Where each judge will make a mini contest and you must enter one of them. If you rank up high in one of those contests there will then be a final round of judging with new contests and NO PREWRITE!! ("Oh my god!! I can only do teh prewrites I ish going to mutilate myself!!)
I think that's everything; NO WAIT!! The points quantity will increase. Because of the time differences some people went to bed and they will be adding more to the pot. So stay tuned.
I expect to see something mind boggling. If not I will make sure Kevin is late for his next dentist appointment. And no mods will be able to stop me!!!
Enter this contest
- This is an anonymous contest - your name will be hidden from editors
- Closes in about 4 hours, or after 1 more entries
- One entry per person, newer submissions replace old ones
- Rewards - Gold: 1000, Silver: 600, Bronze: 300, Honorable mention: 2 people
- Enter a pre-written poem
- Enter a new poem
Entries [63]
1 - 63 of 63
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You taste like winter on these lips of mine. My body feels hot like summer and I contemplate how much longer I should keep leading you on.by Blue-Rose Beauty 27 lines, 40 comments, on Sep 5 12:08 AM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Batman decides it's time for a holiday...by Tuesdays-child 66 lines, 10 comments, on Sep 19 8:51 AM• Commented on by judge.
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What game will we play today
in our minds?• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
;;
motion sickness
;;by Oh.My.Juliet 23 lines, 50 comments, on Aug 13 10:04 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by Writing0Freedom 72 lines, 11 comments, on Sep 6 3:52 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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• Commented on by judge.
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What I want is to play, play with you
hands teasing, fingers testing• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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So crawl with me
On the lemon stained skyby Tigger-Belle 18 lines, 1 comment, on Oct 1 2:08 AM• Commented on by judge. -
by Mango Memories 31 lines, 18 comments, on Sep 17 6:32 AM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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• Not viewed by judge.
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by ShotInTheDark 59 lines, on Nov 24 10:29 AM• Not viewed by judge.
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lightbulb moment, dear
• Not viewed by judge. -
• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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I could have washed your feet,
instead I bleached you out of my carpet.• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
I don't talk to my heart
because I don't like talking to strangers• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
Been one for the rules my whole life. Good girl. Puppet of all : teachers, parents, adults. Never knew that rules were made to be broken; there was a world outside the barrier I built.by InspiredDisaster 11 lines, 1 comment, on Nov 24 8:44 PM. In Personal• Not viewed by judge.
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she is hanged
her back sports d-hooks -by dewfall 28 lines, on Nov 24 8:37 PM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
Dancing rainbow waters crush against the chromium plate,
painting the scene in severed limbs and slaughtered blood cells• Not viewed by judge. -
You walk the long dark twisting road
As the forest looms closerby UnionFireBug09 67 lines, 1 comment, on May 24 11:22 PM. In Love, Longing, Depression, Sadness, Lost love, Depressed, Escape, Goodbyes• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
There was a girl who helped my dreams become sweeter... my days easier and my nights less endless... For whom the sun burned without anger and desolate hours passed quietly...There was a girl who danced through the day with sby Temperance Lost 2 lines, on Nov 27 3:04 PM. In Life• Not viewed by judge.
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there lies such beauty in the traps
such terrified beautyby MusicBoxMetaphor 24 lines, 7 comments, on Nov 22 12:39 AM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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It was the silence that bothered,
More than the loss.by rhymeswithjulia 35 lines, 2 comments, on Nov 9 9:41 PM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
• Not viewed by judge.
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The flexible rule of reality;
You think you know what's real,by Jay Aleksandr 26 lines, 3 comments, on Jul 26 1:41 PM 2008. In Contemporary, Life, Thoughts, Weird, Abstract, Humanity• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
tangerine twists, winding up the stair case...
licorise (sp) strips taking up air space.• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
by Barry Hodges 51 lines, 15 comments, on Mar 27 7:17 AM. In Black humour, English holiday tragedies, Serial killers• Viewed by judge. Prewrite
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I was once in the court,
of Michelangelo The Short.• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
My head is filled with intangible thoughts spinning faster than an atom in a particle accelerator. Infected, obsessed, consumed by an event• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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i react in a bassakwards way
when my brain relates positive gains into pain and strainby SkyScraper Soul 40 lines, 3 comments, on Nov 25 12:37 PM. In My own style, Lyrics, Abstract, Lost in thought, Dark, Thoughts, rhyme, hip-hop• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
A friend of mine
once told me that he believes• Not viewed by judge. -
Impotent ash dangles -
an impossible Pisa comedy tromboneby johnduncanson 22 lines, 2 days ago• Not viewed by judge. -
Passion.
A deep breath before
The hands grip.• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
Bacon angels swelled around Houston Texas
Carrying ivory-cream pistols for the Lord.by tscollins 28 lines, 1 day ago• Viewed by judge. -
• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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As I looked up, I saw it as if it were from a dream. I took your hand in mine and we began our accent to the windy summit of the old twelve story building via one of the many back alley fire escapes that can be spotted througby Sully-McBride 4 lines, 2 comments, on Nov 17 8:18 AM. In Contemporary, Life, Nature, People, City, Society, Weird• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by MissingBatteries 40 lines, 7 comments, on Oct 16 12:28 AM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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light me up and shine through my eyes, because i don't think i can remember how to glow anymore.by wraven 15 lines, 6 comments, on Sep 18 11:46 PM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
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three in the morning, yet im still in mourning for the last day.
my past ways, a blight and plunder.....• Commented on by judge. -
You once told me dreams were for losers
so I carved them out of my subconciousby inaeternum 23 lines, 5 comments, on May 6 2:27 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Starbursts
in black holesby glamour glitch. 103 lines, 9 hours ago. In Personal• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
He’d been waiting for her,
again.• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
ain't it something?
this world that i seeby Over Zenith 28 lines, 4 comments, on Sep 23 6:38 AM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite -
I may be different
but you think i'm wrongby fantome errant 55 lines, 8 comments, on Aug 13 5:29 AM• Not viewed by judge. Prewrite
Add a comment
Comments
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Duckie dear;
and random and random.
....... what a very, very weird and random contest
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Duckie dear went to the market to buy a fat pig and she came back with...Yorkshire?
The ironic thing is most randomness is very intentional and planned. -
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Duckie dear is Katie's nickname I so gave her - and she calls me gumdrop
And I know, oh I know :]
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That's what people may think until they decide to say something out of the bl-TORTOISES ARE THE SHREWS OF LICKING PYGMY YONDER THE FORTE!!
And then you write in caps lock just to sound more stupid than you do already. -
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Oh so you're evil eyeing me is that it??
FINE!!!
I think I've made my point. -
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Ooo bring it on.
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Oh yes, it is. I'm quite excited.
ENTER GUMDROP! Or I'll pull you off the gingerbread man. -
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You wouldn't
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Don't try me... I'm in a vicious mood tonight... just look at this!
See ze comments: http://allpoetry.com/poem/5717741
I feel like a mix between the green Powerpuff Girl, Batman and Oprah. -
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Duckie,
you are my hero
I'll try ~ I think you've read everything of mine though O.O -
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I'll put on the same face you put on at Christmas when you get something you already have.
I'm an excellent liar! I don't think I've read everything though... we might get lucky C: -
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We'll have a look - perhaps in the morning.
someoneinparticuluar decided to return to AP and i'm kinda in a mess >_< -
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Oh poppet, I still have a severed foot at the ready (don't ask where I got it, kay?) so don't hesitate to ask.
I have a mean shotput throw
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That'd be his severed foot o.O -
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Naturally, I have a small collection in my wardrobe though
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Oh yes,
forgot about them.
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Well, I'm to sleep as it's 1:19am and we all know what that means... in 11 minutes I'll have to declare myself legally insane if I'm not asleep!
Lub yew, have a nice Tasmanian evenink.
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11.19 p.m here and I shall be following your lead to go play monster hunter as soon as said pathetic blubbering blonde haired person finishes up her reply to that certain someone.
You have a nice New Zealand night/morning :]
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Too much sugar?
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Personally I blame the tellytubbies.
You just never know if Tinky Winky's hand bag is made out of real crocodile skin or not.
It burns the soul. -
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Oh my gosh.
I blame Charlie and Lola. -
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Why charlies and lola? What have they ever done to you!!?
They are after all made of paper. -
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They drink Strawberry milk.. I went to the grocery store and blew my life savings on strawberry milk because I wanted to be English..
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Being English is incredibly dull.
We have cars that fly and we live in sandcastles underneath the Noddy Shop. -
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Better than being American and looking at fat people everywhere you go.
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I'm not American but I'm fat, do I win a pony?
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Yes. *presents purple pony*
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Well? WHERE IS MY PONY?!
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you're so funny
Naive soul: Ooooh!!! You're all under 20!! HAHAHAHA!! I'm sooo not going to take you seriously. For I; I am an official adult!! Look at my back hair in all it's humanitarian glory!! Oh and I get my pension in less than half a century. And...and...I have seven dogs!! SEVEN!!
hahaha
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Strange, you become desensitized to it after a while
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Your call to arms has awakened the sleeping dragon in me.lol
Let the avante garde games commence. Bookmarked, granted my age does not eliminate your perception of my ability to be totally juvenile and irrelevant. Never trust anyone OVER thirty, and I sir, madam, and person am on the cusp.
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Not to worry; I know many 30 year olds who fly around the streams of fountains eating biscuits made of antiphonal lynx's beards.
I look forward to your entry. For I shan't know what it is!!!!
Also the pictures on your home page make my eyes swirl. -
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oh you'll know who it is
comment responses from all my readers. I'm Über famous on here.
.........no, your right, you wont know.
also be careful on my home page...it's designed to cause seizures in my enemies. Pick a poem quickly, and click on it...or you may put yourself at risk.lol
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Naive Soul #3: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEURGH!!
Love you too.
>>Love It!! -
Dearest Oliver and Katie, so sorry I've taken so long to begin judging, but I'm on it now! I've finally finished my exams and expect I have done very well in them! Hooray!
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Dearest Serena,
Thank you so SO much for reminding me this contest exists.
I almost forgot.
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*debates on entering this contest*
Hmmmmm...what do you think, Evoo?! -
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If you think you can push through round 1 like a baby pushing out of the uterus, then go for it.
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What a flawless analogy.
I think I'll try it out, but I'll most likely fail epically.
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Adding your comment:
