Haiku is the image, without flowery adjectives and adverbs.
'Show, don't tell'... 'egoless reticence'. They are not just a 3 line poem!
RULES:
1) Three short lines. No rhyming or special syllable counts.
2) As condensed as possible - if you can say the same thing in a shorter way, do it. Think elegant and simple.
3) This should be a nature image, as the examples show. It needs to SHOW, not tell. If I can't see it happening, it shouldn't be in it.
4) Title should either be clever and meaningful, or just the same as the first or last line.
An old pond!
A frog jumps in --
the sound of water.
- Basho
The four great Japanese masters of the haiku form are generally thought to be:
Matsuo Basho
On how to sing
the frog school and the skylark school
are arguing.
~ Masaoki Shiki
Gold winner gets a 1 month silver membership, giftable to someone else.
Thanks to Maatkara for letting me steal some info from her haiku contest.
I hope to get lots of entries, so may not be able to comment on all of them... Good luck to everyone and happy poetry writing!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on June 24
- Rewards: Gold: 300, Silver: 400, Bronze: 200, Honorable mention: 2 people
- Final notes: Great work everyone!
Haikus are a very difficult subject. The biggest problems I found were people missing articles (condensing doesn't really mean removing "the" and "a" all the time, though it can often be rephrased to not need them), and a still having images that weren't physical - like 'love's rainbow' or a 'sweet breeze' - what does it really smell like that is sweet? Another thing I'd suggest is the need for there to still be an emotional component of the poem - reading the nature descriptions should make you feel something...
I was especially torn between 3/4/5th places, though extra-enjoyed all the poems in the finalist list. I enjoyed everyone's poems as well And had fun rewording many of them to be what I considered a bit more haiku-like. Hope you didn't mind.
My comments were mostly criticism, I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings. I loved reading them and thank you for entering!
Congrats to all!
Contest Winners
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moonrise
black silk slips from white shoulders
by Draig aine 4 lines, 107 comments, on May 10 7:48 AM. In Love, Nature, Thoughts
Silver trophy winner
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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Sea spray distorts
never ending shore.• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
birdsong
from dark trees• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
dusk
a butterfly and mothby bridgetjanejone 8 lines, 14 comments, on Mar 29 5:07 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] - Error: Unable to find finalist item 5406475, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Honorable mention
Entries [79]
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With each falling seed
A bird flaps• Viewed by judge. -
blossoms appearing
rainbow colours everywhereby Janice M Pickett 2 lines, 9 comments, on May 29 4:02 PM• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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"How did I live?"
"How?" is one question, as is;• Commented on by judge. -
Ever wondered about death?
Here Here!by Cirdan Tam 2 lines, 1 comment, on Jun 9 7:08 PM. In Pain• Commented on by judge. -
Time changes the light
without moving face of truthby liquidmindforever 7 lines, 7 comments, on Sep 9 12:33 PM 2007• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
curious cat naps
mouse and bird in friendly playby simone waters 9 lines, 6 comments, on Jun 12 12:45 AM• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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I cast out upon
The Water So Clear, Shimmering• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by SilentPoetress 2 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 11 9:45 AM. In Contest• Commented on by judge.
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Racing my horse
under silent sky• Commented on by judge. -
With flowing manes
Horses playing in the sunby DeepinRage 2 lines, 1 comment, on Jun 6 2:16 PM• Commented on by judge. -
Winters' chill touches the air
Spring struggles to championby My Nemesis 2 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 6 12:38 AM• Commented on by judge. -
Once when I was young I had spiritual aspirations
I fasted for a week when I was fifteen,by bobanonymous 5 lines, 6 comments, on Jun 6 12:03 AM
• Commented on by judge. -
by Phoenix Rising 6 lines, 3 comments, on Jun 5 2:54 PM. In haiku• Commented on by judge.
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Ordered singing
In all roomsby James Holdaway 2 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 5 12:43 AM• Commented on by judge. -
white clouds –
willow catkins hangby Thousandlakes 2 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 7 11:50 AM• Commented on by judge. -
Of seeds and swallows, I dare to write.• Commented on by judge.
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Silence loudens.
Gray above parts--by DreamtSong-x 4 lines, 6 comments, on Jun 3 6:56 PM• Commented on by judge. -
the dog barks
chastisingby AngelSeeker 9 lines, 1 comment, on Jun 3 5:12 AM• Commented on by judge. -
high silhouettes fly
with zigs and zags, feints and dives• Commented on by judge. -
The water, so calm and pure.
The raindrops, splish splash splish splash.by lovedovie98 4 lines, 3 comments, on Jun 1 12:18 PM. In Nature• Commented on by judge. -
A gumnut baby
plays on a gum leaf -• Commented on by judge. -
The firefly's light
Is the way to paradise.• Commented on by judge. -
distant waterfalls
you never looked backby hopergroper 2 lines, 11 comments, on Jun 2 12:51 AM• Commented on by judge. -
Steel refelcts Sun's stare,
chameleon temperature.by MichaelBe 3 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 2 4:38 PM• Commented on by judge. -
clouds feathered
cloaked in violet--• Commented on by judge. -
purple rain
makes life sweet• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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Summer, it is here
School it is finally outby Spring Blossoms 3 lines, 1 comment, on May 12 6:10 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
boiling honeybees
nectar gathering embroiled• Commented on by judge. -
by Black Narcissus 3 lines, 2 comments, on May 30 4:16 AM. In Nature• Commented on by judge.
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pollen coated wings
brush nose ~~by wishintreeUK 2 lines, 4 comments, on May 31 4:20 AM. In Nature• Commented on by judge. -
hot silken needles
piercing through the arid earth• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
time plunders mind
yet nature keeps her vigilby NotAMolly 2 lines, 4 comments, on May 29 7:31 PM• Commented on by judge. -
I hate Haiku's
hard to doby trekkergirl 3 lines, 2 comments, on May 30 1:30 AM. In contest haiku gift one month free membership• Commented on by judge. -
Wind-songs whisper
Autumn's lullaby;by Randomly Beautiful 13 lines, 5 comments, on May 30 1:34 AM• Commented on by judge. -
by Simply Simple 2 lines, 1 comment, on May 29 10:28 PM• Commented on by judge.
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~*~
a squeeky old swing• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Raindrops fall to earth
Nourishing our garden world• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by thegirlsafaultline. 5 lines, 14 comments, on Apr 2 8:11 PM. In NaPoMo• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by Diminished Capacity 2 lines, 9 comments, on May 29 5:04 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Traveler who set sail above clouds
crooks his hands west-ward--as moon pondersby Oleander 4 lines, 3 comments, on May 29 5:49 PM• Commented on by judge. -
A blue jay
hops from branch to branchby masterblaster 2 lines, 14 comments, on May 29 4:35 PM• Commented on by judge. -
Trees sway in the wind
flowers lose pretty petalsby Poetess12 2 lines, 4 comments, on May 29 5:14 PM• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Ha
I think you are stealing my idea too lol as I have a Haiku contest running right now
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My haikus! Mine!!!! Muhahahaha
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Hi, I think you mean 17 syllables in all, not per line?
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lol i removed all my eye que but i have a new one
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Lol 300 for gold and 400 for silver
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because of the silver membership award
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Not complaining, Kevin. Just checking whether I was dreaming. Did you at one stage permit up to 3 entries per person, and later change it to 1?
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No, I didn't change anything. Well, not on purpose anyways
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Congrats to the winners. No hurt feelings here, I appreciated the critique.
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Congrats to the winners, but 2 and 3 wrote in fact a senryu (about people) and not a haiku (about nature).
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my humble thanks and a grin
I am truly honored -
Hey... how'd I miss this? Fun stuff.... I also enjoyed reading your "rewrites" of them. You did a fine job with those. Looks like I have to keep my eye open around here or I miss something cool like this! But, I'd be afraid to enter because there are so many fine writes.
Great contest Kevin,
monk
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