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Dear Jane...you mother was better

I am in a wrong funny mood as of late so i wanted to have my second of Four contest reflect that. So don't let that title fool you this is for women too, i am looking for one thing in this contest, the most funny and cruel, just bogus, Dear John or Dear Jane letter you can think of. You got a ex or a current i don't know but i want you to just write out a letter that is funny. i am looking for something that will just have me balling out laughing. i have am example of something along the lines of what i am looking for:

http://allpoetry.com/poem/1616210

Dear Joy (written before my name is Earl)

but i want something like that, doesn't even have to be real just make it funny and have a blast with it.

Now every contest must have it's rules, so here are mine:
1)No cap lock, i know the it is a easy button to turn on but do you really want that in your buttons
2)Spelling and Grammar are your friends, in this they are your friends with benefits, so please use them.
3)I am not a gold member so please put your name in the Author notes.
4)There is no limit to how long the letter can be but please none too long.
5) If the read is a bit mature for some readers please label it as such, i am not going to be the reason some kid ask his mother what does this mean, nor should you, they can learn that stuff in school like we all did.
6) Not a rule really but it would be nice if you read others work in the contest, who knows you may just bounce back
Last......Have fun

Thank you for your time and enjoy
2 outta 4

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on January 3
  • Rewards: Gold: 400, Silver: 200, Bronze: 100, Honorable mention: 50 people
  • Final notes:
    I am sorry for the long time it took me to judge but i wish to thank you all who entered and congrads on the winners, keep it flowing and till next time

Contest Winners

  1. My Dearest John
    My Dearest John,
    by sensualbutterfly 15 lines, 9 comments, on Dec 24 7:32 AM 2008. In Contest, Humor
    Gold trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  2. From Love Bunnie
    by YesterdaysDreams 10 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 13 2:31 PM 2008. In Adult, Humor
    Silver trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  3. Error: Unable to find finalist item 4858733, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
  4. My Dearest Harpy
    I won't be home tonight
    Something came up
    by Wind Walker 31 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 12 9:33 AM 2008. In Contest, Fantasy, Humor, Personal, Thoughts
    Honorable mention
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  5. Dear Douchebag
    You thought they were laughing and clapping at our performace but little did you know those claps you heard was the snapping of your fat!
    by gigglesalot 11 lines, 2 comments, on Dec 12 11:42 AM 2008. In Angst, Humor, Weird
    Honorable mention
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  6. Dear Jane...
    by voodoo ink 37 lines, 3 comments, on Dec 13 1:42 PM 2008. In adult humor, funny, love, life, contest, adult
    Honorable mention
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]

Entries [7]

1 - 7 of 7
  • Obsessive!
    Dear Maisy I'm so sad to say that you and I must part
    You'll never be the only girl for me
    by Just a poet 15 lines, 8 comments, on Dec 12 9:34 AM 2008. In Dark, Humour, Humor
    • Commented on by judge.
  • Letters home
    Dear john,
    I saw your mother today, sittin in some hay...
    by SimplyNoodle 3 lines, 1 comment, on Dec 22 11:23 AM 2008
    • Commented on by judge.

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