Greetings & Salutations!
Though I would prefer to host a contest for a Samhain Poetry Festival, this issue is very close to my soul, as I was a victim of domestic violence and was incarcerated for sixty days for removing myself and my children from domestic violence across state lines without asking for the abusers permission. As the title states, October is Violence Against Women Awareness Month.
Here are some facts about domestic violence:
In the seven years from 2000 to 2006, 2,697 American soldiers were killed by hostile forces, mostly in Iraq and Afghanistan. Another 726 died there accidentally in “non-hostile” incidents. At home, 611 American law enforcement officers were “feloniously killed” in the line of duty (including 72 in the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001). Another 554 officers died on the job from traffic accidents, heart attacks, accidental shootings, suicide, and other “non-hostile” incidents.
So, in those seven years, the total number of front-line military and law enforcement deaths was 4,588.
In that same period, 44 Canadian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan, including four who died in accidents and six killed by “friendly fire.” At home, 16 law enforcement officers were killed in the line of duty, while another 41 died from “non-hostile” causes (including 16 in car accidents, seven in aircraft accidents and three in motorcycle accidents).
The combined total of all Canadian military and law enforcement deaths for that seven-year period was 101.
We pay tribute to these fallen men and women, often with national television, newspaper, and magazine coverage.
Whenever a police officer is shot or otherwise feloniously killed in the line of duty, hundreds of police officers from all over North America gather for the funeral. In June 2006, all of Canada mourned the death in Afghanistan of Capt. Nicola Goddard, the first Canadian female combat soldier to be killed in battle, and watched live national media coverage of her funeral and subsequent burial with full military honours at Ottawa’s National Military Cemetery.
In the United States, the Public Broadcasting Service has run a silent roll call of those killed overseas, and other networks periodically air similar tributes. And at the federal level in both countries, public ceremonies honour both war and law enforcement dead.
There is another war – largely overlooked but even more deadly – with far more victims killed by “hostiles.” But these dead are not labelled heroes, nor are they honoured in the national media or in formal ceremonies. From time to time, they may attract a spate of publicity as the result of a high-profile trial or an inquest that will likely conclude that society let them down once again and recommend changes to prevent future deaths, though these recommendations will be mostly ignored. This war is the War on Women.
Compare the raw numbers. In the same seven-year period when 4,588 U.S. soldiers and police officers were killed by hostiles or by accident, more than 8,000 women – nearly twice as many – were shot, stabbed, strangled, or beaten to death by the intimate males in their lives. In Canada, compared to the 101 Canadian soldiers and police officers killed, more than 500 women – nearly five times as many – met the same fate.
Those are the deaths. Then there are the wounded. In the same period, about 24,000 U.S. military were wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan, while about 80 Canadians were wounded in Afghanistan.
In the United States, it’s conservatively estimated that in addition to the 1,200 to 1,300 women killed each year by intimate partners, another 5.3 million, age 18 and older, are victims of non-lethal domestic abuse.
Based on those numbers, the violence costs the country more than $5.8 billion annually – nearly $4.1 billion in direct medical and mental health care, and $1.8 billion in lost productivity and lost earnings due to homicide.
These numbers are believed to underestimate the problem for several reasons, and additional efforts are needed to determine more accurately the full cost of intimate-partner victimization of women in the United States.
In Canada, the federal government estimates the annual cost of violence against women at $1.1 billion in direct medical costs alone. That figure rises to more than $4 billion a year when social services, lost productivity, lost earnings, and police, court, and prison costs are factored in.
Wars usually produce large numbers of refugees: witness the United Nations camps scattered around the world. And the War on Women has its own refugee camps, in the form of the 2,500 or so shelters for battered women and their children across North America.
In the United States, more than 300,000 women and children seek safety in shelters each year. In Canada, the number is between 90,000 and 100,000.
Above Article Source
Silence is the tool the abuser uses very well to keep you isolated from those who would help you. The abuser threatens you, your children, your immediate family with physical harm &/or death if you tell anyone about it. This society plays right into an abuser's plan for they are very uncomfortable speaking about abuse. They simply do not want to get involved. They believe that to give a helping hand to another human being is not their problem and besides they might 'die' trying to help someone. (Please pardon the sarcasm in the last sentence as this is a pet peeve of mine.)
We are all born to 'die'. Moreover, helping someone out of an abusive relationship means you need to give unconditionally without expectations of being paid back for any monetary outlay you may incur. We as compassionate and civilized human beings should help out of the goodness and kindness of our heart not because we expect favors.
You must also give unconditionally and not order the person you are helping as to what they can or cannot do with your gifts of charity. It is considered abuse to coerce or bribe someone with a gift by telling them what they can do with the gift or they will not receive the help they need to escape a hell they cannot get away from on their own.
This contest is about educating, helping and freeing women from violence and abuse from the men they once loved that control everything from when they cook breakfast to when they have sex and expect nothing but obedience as they are considered and treated like a slave as property.
****************************************
These are your options:
1. Education -- How can we as survivors of abuse educate the public without offending them or should we care if they are offended? How do we make them listen to us? If you are not a survivor of abuse, what would you need to understand what abuse is? We do not deserve what we get, as we are incapable of leaving them for they have severed every 'out' we once had.
2. Helping -- How can we help these women realize that they do not deserve the abuse they are receiving and it is not acceptable behavior? What can we do for them financially so that they do not end up homeless, penniless, and on the street? (Sometimes with children)
3. Freedom -- Leaving your abuser is the hardest thing you ever have to do, once you are in a relationship that beats you down to nothing. You have no self-esteem or confidence in yourself, you feel depressed, worthless, defeated and dirty. You are embarrassed about your bruises and the bad treatment of you verbally in front of others. How do we help these women have faith in themselves again? How do we give them courage to leave, to file a report of complaint with the police and authorities? (Not that a lot of state's police force will do anything anyway, but at least a person of an institution is notified.) How do we help them and their children start a new life, by teaching them to fish, not just giving them a fish?
********************************
The above options are enough to write a book about, so I will leave it at three. It is time WE THE PEOPLE, we the women and men of this planet speak up with the powerful voices of poets, writers and essayists, and use the medium we have to make this society aware, whether they like it or not, of the violence and abuse that women are forced to endure and the damage it leaves on our psyche long after the abuser is out of our life. Bruises and broken bones heal. Emotional, spiritual and mental wounds remain gaping and open for another abusive relationship to bury with salt and inflict more pain and despair upon our souls.
IT IS TIME WE STOPPED THE VIOLENCE AND THE PAIN! Below are some links for more FACTS about violent crimes against women by men they know and sometimes love and trust:
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
PUBLICATIONS RELATED TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
RAPE AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
******************************************************************
THE CONTEST RULES:
1) You must read and FOLLOW the rules to this contest.
2) Place the option number you are choosing to write about in your author's note.
3) You may write about one, two or all three, and you may enter as many times as you wish.
4) Pre-writes or new in this contest as long as it stays with the theme of the contest. I will not hesitate to DQ any pens that do not stay with the theme.
5) There are NO restrictions on form, style (letter, poem, essay, prose, editorial) or length.
6) Your work MUST be titled.
7) Obvious Spelling and Grammar errors will be noted. Please use spell check as it really is your friend.
8) I will not hesitate to remove entries that contain denigrating or insults to other belief systems or proselytizing.
9) Honorable Mentions may be determined for more at time of judging and will be at my discretion for award amounts and number of trophies given.
10) Any flaming or rude comments to any other contestant will be justification for me to remove you from the contest.
11) Swearing is fine as long as it stays within context and is effective.
-------------------------------------------
Be really excellent to each other and happy writing to all of you.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
*************************************
Though I would prefer to host a contest for a Samhain Poetry Festival, this issue is very close to my soul, as I was a victim of domestic violence and was incarcerated for sixty days for removing myself and my children from domestic violence across state lines without asking for the abusers permission. As the title states, October is Violence Against Women Awareness Month.
Here are some facts about domestic violence:
In the seven years from 2000 to 2006, 2,697 American soldiers were killed by hostile forces, mostly in Iraq and Afghanistan. Another 726 died there accidentally in “non-hostile” incidents. At home, 611 American law enforcement officers were “feloniously killed” in the line of duty (including 72 in the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001). Another 554 officers died on the job from traffic accidents, heart attacks, accidental shootings, suicide, and other “non-hostile” incidents.
So, in those seven years, the total number of front-line military and law enforcement deaths was 4,588.
In that same period, 44 Canadian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan, including four who died in accidents and six killed by “friendly fire.” At home, 16 law enforcement officers were killed in the line of duty, while another 41 died from “non-hostile” causes (including 16 in car accidents, seven in aircraft accidents and three in motorcycle accidents).
The combined total of all Canadian military and law enforcement deaths for that seven-year period was 101.
We pay tribute to these fallen men and women, often with national television, newspaper, and magazine coverage.
Whenever a police officer is shot or otherwise feloniously killed in the line of duty, hundreds of police officers from all over North America gather for the funeral. In June 2006, all of Canada mourned the death in Afghanistan of Capt. Nicola Goddard, the first Canadian female combat soldier to be killed in battle, and watched live national media coverage of her funeral and subsequent burial with full military honours at Ottawa’s National Military Cemetery.
In the United States, the Public Broadcasting Service has run a silent roll call of those killed overseas, and other networks periodically air similar tributes. And at the federal level in both countries, public ceremonies honour both war and law enforcement dead.
There is another war – largely overlooked but even more deadly – with far more victims killed by “hostiles.” But these dead are not labelled heroes, nor are they honoured in the national media or in formal ceremonies. From time to time, they may attract a spate of publicity as the result of a high-profile trial or an inquest that will likely conclude that society let them down once again and recommend changes to prevent future deaths, though these recommendations will be mostly ignored. This war is the War on Women.
Compare the raw numbers. In the same seven-year period when 4,588 U.S. soldiers and police officers were killed by hostiles or by accident, more than 8,000 women – nearly twice as many – were shot, stabbed, strangled, or beaten to death by the intimate males in their lives. In Canada, compared to the 101 Canadian soldiers and police officers killed, more than 500 women – nearly five times as many – met the same fate.
Those are the deaths. Then there are the wounded. In the same period, about 24,000 U.S. military were wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan, while about 80 Canadians were wounded in Afghanistan.
In the United States, it’s conservatively estimated that in addition to the 1,200 to 1,300 women killed each year by intimate partners, another 5.3 million, age 18 and older, are victims of non-lethal domestic abuse.
Based on those numbers, the violence costs the country more than $5.8 billion annually – nearly $4.1 billion in direct medical and mental health care, and $1.8 billion in lost productivity and lost earnings due to homicide.
These numbers are believed to underestimate the problem for several reasons, and additional efforts are needed to determine more accurately the full cost of intimate-partner victimization of women in the United States.
In Canada, the federal government estimates the annual cost of violence against women at $1.1 billion in direct medical costs alone. That figure rises to more than $4 billion a year when social services, lost productivity, lost earnings, and police, court, and prison costs are factored in.
Wars usually produce large numbers of refugees: witness the United Nations camps scattered around the world. And the War on Women has its own refugee camps, in the form of the 2,500 or so shelters for battered women and their children across North America.
In the United States, more than 300,000 women and children seek safety in shelters each year. In Canada, the number is between 90,000 and 100,000.
Above Article Source
Silence is the tool the abuser uses very well to keep you isolated from those who would help you. The abuser threatens you, your children, your immediate family with physical harm &/or death if you tell anyone about it. This society plays right into an abuser's plan for they are very uncomfortable speaking about abuse. They simply do not want to get involved. They believe that to give a helping hand to another human being is not their problem and besides they might 'die' trying to help someone. (Please pardon the sarcasm in the last sentence as this is a pet peeve of mine.)
We are all born to 'die'. Moreover, helping someone out of an abusive relationship means you need to give unconditionally without expectations of being paid back for any monetary outlay you may incur. We as compassionate and civilized human beings should help out of the goodness and kindness of our heart not because we expect favors.
You must also give unconditionally and not order the person you are helping as to what they can or cannot do with your gifts of charity. It is considered abuse to coerce or bribe someone with a gift by telling them what they can do with the gift or they will not receive the help they need to escape a hell they cannot get away from on their own.
This contest is about educating, helping and freeing women from violence and abuse from the men they once loved that control everything from when they cook breakfast to when they have sex and expect nothing but obedience as they are considered and treated like a slave as property.
****************************************
These are your options:
1. Education -- How can we as survivors of abuse educate the public without offending them or should we care if they are offended? How do we make them listen to us? If you are not a survivor of abuse, what would you need to understand what abuse is? We do not deserve what we get, as we are incapable of leaving them for they have severed every 'out' we once had.
2. Helping -- How can we help these women realize that they do not deserve the abuse they are receiving and it is not acceptable behavior? What can we do for them financially so that they do not end up homeless, penniless, and on the street? (Sometimes with children)
3. Freedom -- Leaving your abuser is the hardest thing you ever have to do, once you are in a relationship that beats you down to nothing. You have no self-esteem or confidence in yourself, you feel depressed, worthless, defeated and dirty. You are embarrassed about your bruises and the bad treatment of you verbally in front of others. How do we help these women have faith in themselves again? How do we give them courage to leave, to file a report of complaint with the police and authorities? (Not that a lot of state's police force will do anything anyway, but at least a person of an institution is notified.) How do we help them and their children start a new life, by teaching them to fish, not just giving them a fish?
********************************
The above options are enough to write a book about, so I will leave it at three. It is time WE THE PEOPLE, we the women and men of this planet speak up with the powerful voices of poets, writers and essayists, and use the medium we have to make this society aware, whether they like it or not, of the violence and abuse that women are forced to endure and the damage it leaves on our psyche long after the abuser is out of our life. Bruises and broken bones heal. Emotional, spiritual and mental wounds remain gaping and open for another abusive relationship to bury with salt and inflict more pain and despair upon our souls.
IT IS TIME WE STOPPED THE VIOLENCE AND THE PAIN! Below are some links for more FACTS about violent crimes against women by men they know and sometimes love and trust:
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
PUBLICATIONS RELATED TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
RAPE AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE
******************************************************************
THE CONTEST RULES: 1) You must read and FOLLOW the rules to this contest.
2) Place the option number you are choosing to write about in your author's note.
3) You may write about one, two or all three, and you may enter as many times as you wish.
4) Pre-writes or new in this contest as long as it stays with the theme of the contest. I will not hesitate to DQ any pens that do not stay with the theme.
5) There are NO restrictions on form, style (letter, poem, essay, prose, editorial) or length.
6) Your work MUST be titled.
7) Obvious Spelling and Grammar errors will be noted. Please use spell check as it really is your friend.
8) I will not hesitate to remove entries that contain denigrating or insults to other belief systems or proselytizing.
9) Honorable Mentions may be determined for more at time of judging and will be at my discretion for award amounts and number of trophies given.
10) Any flaming or rude comments to any other contestant will be justification for me to remove you from the contest.
11) Swearing is fine as long as it stays within context and is effective.
-------------------------------------------
Be really excellent to each other and happy writing to all of you.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
*************************************
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on November 10, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 1500, Silver: 750, Bronze: 350, Honorable mention: 8 people
- Final notes: I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your entry as I read many an excellent pen on this undeclared war on women.
Judging was very difficult, not only because of the quality writes I recieved as entries but also the subject matter hit way too close to home, and I felt the pain of millions and cried a river of tears as I read each and every poem about abuse and violence against women and children.
The statistics are staggering and I believe it is time to demand change from our society, our churches, our government, our police and our boys and men who beat, rape, stab, shoot, and kill their women and sometimes children every day in America.
I hope that all of you recieved the reward of cleansing your souls of pain, shame and the death of too many of our sisters in just the last 7 years. I don't even want to know what the numbers were before that, I think it would drive me crazy.
Thanks to all of you some one will take courage and leave their abuser, or report domestic violence or maybe even step in and try to stop it from happening without having to die trying.
Be really excellent to each other and thank you for entering my contest and trying to help the human race cure it's deadliest disease.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
Contest Winners
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4687851, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4692349, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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by Yvette Champ 30 lines, 28 comments, on Oct 16 7:32 PM 2008. In Domestic Violence, Adult, Society., Prose
Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
Marriage was my misery,
it carried much strife,• Commented on by judge. [remove] - Error: Unable to find finalist item 3249192, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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When you first came
Into my life, you wereby kareneisenlord 359 lines, 4 comments, on Oct 27 12:59 AM 2008. In Contemporary, Contest, Life, Pain, Personal, Sad, Society, Thoughts, DomesticViolence Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [44]
1 - 44 of 44
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by Dangerousparable 18 lines, 5 comments, on Oct 16 2:28 AM 2008. In Contest, Contemporary, Abuse, Adult, Hope• Commented on by judge.
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by BeautifulFlame 65 lines, 32 comments, on Oct 21 2:12 AM 2008. In Adult, Personal, Anger, Sadness, Pain, Freedom, Break the circle• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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WHEN I WAS A KID MY
DADDY HIT MY MAMMA• Commented on by judge. -
I am still here.
Tho you tried your best.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
She killed him
Yes,hes dead• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Good Morning,
My name is Bob, I consider myself an ordinary guy.by ears2hearyou 162 lines, 7 comments, on Oct 17 11:39 PM 2008. In Contest, Society, Hope, Love, Family, Teen issues, Humanity• Viewed by judge. -
He was so much stronger then her
she looked like a butterfly attacking a treeby smonte19124 18 lines, 5 comments, on Sep 27 3:23 AM 2006. In Sad• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
First rule of survival in an abusive cituation is get out dont wait until the bell rings and try for a second round.You will always lose• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by Maili Knephthan 8 lines, 1 comment, on Oct 16 6:32 PM 2008• Commented on by judge.
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From where does it come,
This unforeseen demon?• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
contest poem: abuse education• Commented on by judge.
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by Pamela A Lamppa 33 lines, 7 comments, on Oct 17 6:52 PM 2008. In Abuse• Commented on by judge.
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by righteousme 62 lines, 2 comments, on Aug 7 12:38 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by spirit rising 56 lines, 25 comments, on Oct 26 4:42 PM 2008. In Abuse, Adult, Pain, Society, domestic violence, Dark• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Dear attacker,
I am writing you this letter to say I now forgive you. It has been six years and finally I feel that the time is right. It took me six long years to realize that I am not your judge and jury. That honer belonby TheOneAndOnlyME 10 lines, 2 comments, on Oct 29 11:19 AM 2008• Commented on by judge. -
by BrittlesSkittles 15 lines, 2 comments, on Aug 19 1:59 AM 2008. In Abuse, Adult, Pain, Personal, Depression, Self, Anger• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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the shadows of memories scatter themselves about the enclosed space,
as i bruise my head on the tile floor and remember your guilt-strickeby BrittlesSkittles 38 lines, 7 comments, on Oct 26 1:13 PM 2008. In Abuse, Pain, Personal, Sad, Depression, Suicide, Escape• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by BrittlesSkittles 19 lines, 4 comments, on Aug 19 1:50 AM 2008. In Abuse, Adult, Anger, Loss, Suicide, Hate, Molestation• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Looking in the mirror,
and what have I found?by PsychoAnalysis 29 lines, 3 comments, on Sep 5 9:27 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
i'm gonna pretend that i'm okby malkinpuss 5 lines, 51 comments, on Dec 12 12:02 AM 2004. In Angst• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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This is really triggering for me...
Because I was a victim of domestic abuse both as a child and in my marriage as an adult. I will try though - if it doesn't start making me symptomatic. It will surely be the test if I have recovered to some degree. It is very difficult for me to bare others' pain. The pictures are very distressing.
I want to help and having been through it myself; I can certainly give that perspective - IF I can hold up psychologically and emotionally. Thank you for caring and doing this contest.
WE MUST BE STRONG AND GET THE MESSAGE OUT THERE THAT THERE WILL BE ZERO TOLERANCE TOWARD ABUSE OF ANY KIND TOWARD ANY LIVING BEING! -
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I hope you are able to write a piece for this Karen, as it is great therapy and your story needs to be told for all the world so that silence and shame are not longer your nightmare. You are not alone and as your friend, I will help in any way I can, unconditionally.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Thank you for your unconditional support!
I did manage to etch out a rough draft. It did trigger some things with me psychologically, but I have been able to work it through. I guess I have recovered to some degree. I started remembering things again, but was able to deal with it. One thing I just remembered are the horrible intrusive and scary thoughts that the abuse caused me to have. It took years for that to ebb, and even now I get them; also from being abused as a child.
I am in no way ashamed of what happened to me. I am way beyond that. I would tell my story from the roof tops if it helped. I remember how shaming it all was when I was being abused, however. What saddens me, is how society continues still to blame and punish the victims. My anger is the most difficult thing for me to deal with. I see a rise in womanizing that I thought was a thing of the past. Girls typically do well in school, but almost across the board, their self-esteem suffers as they are exposed to society's ridiculous and sexist expectations that are somewhat , if not blatently, degrading and dehumanizing. Our society has both come a long way in understanding domestic abuse but has also taken steps backwards in many ways. I think the media has played a big role in contributing to this all around, for both good and bad.
When I was being abused as a child and in my marriage, society was just barely coming out of the dark ages. The law has changed a lot since then, in protecting children and women from domestic abuse. Then, why is there as increase in domestic violence? Because, my dears, the law is only as good as the paper it is written upon if it is not enforced, followed up on, funded and public awareness isn't increased. I could go on and on with this subject.
Thank you for having this contest DragonBlue and for sharing your story with us! You are a dear and brave heart!
P.S. I am also an advocate against animal abuse. It is a proven fact that people who abuse their animals/pets, are most likely to be domestic abusers - that can even lead to murder!
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I was a victim of spouse abuse for over 3 years which to some people doesn't seem like long yet it felt like a lifetime for me ... Definietely bookmarked as I think of something fresh for it
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No matter how long you are abused, whether it is a day, a month, a year or a lifetime, it is painful and damaging to your psyche. Abuse has been accepted by this society for much too long, always pushed under the carpet as an uncomfortable subject. This is why it continues to happen. Did you know that drug users get 10 years for smoking a joint or doing other illicite street drugs. Men who abuse their spouses get 30 days if they do any time at all. Abused women with children make up 83% of the homeless on the streets looking for food, shelter and terrified that their spouses will find them and kill them as well as their children.
I hope you are able to write a pen for this contest as every survivor should realize just how deep this epidemic goes.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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My God...
the picture collage at the top sent shivers down my spine [as it should!] I will defintiely try to pull up a new write for this one - it's more than deserving of attentions from the poets of all poetry ...
for all the survivors out there.
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Yes, it should send shivers down the spine of every human alive on the planet earth. It is war, and a war that no one has declared or wishes to report the numbers tallied of deaths and wounded. My theory on that is it does not make money for the greedy munitions stock holders or the police force that abuse women too. There you have it, there it is and so it goes...
BB
)O(
db
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I wish it were still possible to applaud contests. You have posted an informative vehicle of fact and invited positivity and the seeking of solutions to supporting all sisters and their children.
I applaud your simile, this is war against women. I am a survivor and I will never stop supporting a call for a cessation of this continuum of conflict which sees thousands upon thousands abused by their partners or ex partners worldwide.
If any other solitary thing was disaffecting so many on such a scale then it would be called an epidemic. It IS an epidemic and it has become endemic, the cycle and systematic abusive behaviours which emotionally and physically fragment, injure and sometimes result in fatalities.
I have prewrites but will try to write something fresh for this contest. Sometimes people ask if poetry can make a difference to a sister being victimized and I am postive that it may if it is informative , if it paints the dark without adding to it, if it inspires a sister to listen to a poem when she is soul torn from listening to the rage of the machine, if it inspires a sister to seek refuge or others to donate to refuges, there are a many ways that Survivor Poetry may help. It may be therapeutic for the writer but should not induce the need for therapy within the reader.
Yes, it is hard to write of the hellish, tormented existence, but with the power of a pen we can make an everlasting impression and compound , hopefully, the strength needed and the route, to walk and find a way to live again.
Apologies for rambling,
Yvette
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No apologies necessary. Thank you for commenting and I won't add to the realizations that you already state here. Together we can help these women survive the war that their spouses and ex-spouses have legally imposed upon them.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Something has to be done
As a former victim of domestic violence myself, I understand completely how you feel. I am shocked by the statistics you have quoted though, and it makes me wonder what they are for here in Britain.
I have a pw story about some of my life with him, but it's 4700 words. Is that ok to add to the contest? -
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Yes.
Any length, style or form. I will read and reply to all entries. Please do enter it. This issue needs to be addressed, especially by the current running candidates for office in the United States. We need to make our leaders understand that it is unacceptable, non-negotiable, and a war that is undeclared but very real in a woman's world by their abusive spouses. The worst part is when a woman finally does leave their abuser she faces a life of extreme poverty on the streets, due to the abuser's isolation of her and the control issue of keeping her dependant upon him. If she has children, her children face this same extreme poverty and 75% of the time; these children are taken from their biological mother and placed in foster homes that are not a safe haven for children at all! (2% are actually caring, loving homes) This is what stops many women from leaving their abuser. Another reason is they do not feel they deserve any better and that they are the fault of the abuse. They despise themselves as inadequate, unintelligent and buy into their abuser's press. Sometimes their families condemn them as well for not being a 'good wife'. It breaks my heart and wounds my soul to see the statistics on how many women actually die from domestic abuse. I look forward to reading your story.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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You are A FIERCE advocate and I hope you see
much caring response. The statistics you
provide are a further motivation although the
images are powerful on their own. Will hope
to get something written shortly.
Blue
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Thank you, my sister.
I hope it does some good. All entrants will be encouraged to post their story on any public billboards they have access to on the internet, at their local Dept. of Economic Security or Welfare Office, on street corners, in bus stations, train stations, airports, colleges; anywhere there is a lot of traffic and send it to or petition and write to their Senators, Mayors, and Congressman about how it affects the economy and the quality of life for every person in America, not to mention if they want to recieve thier vote, they will bring this 'war on women' to the table when meeting to pass bills and laws that affect us. I hope they all do so, as education of the people is the only that will stop it from happening.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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I'm so sorry fro what happened to you. I too was a victom of dometc violence. I hope you are doing well now.
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Thank you. Yes, I am doing okay
now. But thousands of others are still trapped and need a way out and justice from our society and court systems. Hope to see an entry from you.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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I'm not sure how many times I will enter, this is a tough subject for me. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and it took all that I had in me to grab up my son and leave. I may try to enter again later, but for now, I will enter my prewrite.
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Whatever you have
is enough. And please, enter not just here in this contest, but everywhere you can publicley display flyers and such. The violence must stop and it must begin with those of us who have survived. I look forward to reading your entry.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Just in the last couple of days since I've discovered this contest, one of our news anchors was beaten almost to death in her own home by a man that most likely stalked her. She's in her mid 20's and still in critical condition and swelling on the brain. He still hasn't been caught yet. And a 32 year old lady was shot several times to death in her own home last night by her ex boyfriend of only a few months while her three kids hid in the closet after he called and threatened her. He still hasn't been caught.
Yes there are numorouse tragedies that happen, and I think epidemic is a kind way of phrasing the barbaric atmosphere's we've become accustomed to.
This is something that needs direct attention all year long and not just one month out of the year. It needs to be addressed as fiercly as breast cancer if not more so. The law has come a long way, but it still fails us in so many ways. -
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Why I can hardly watch the news anymore.
It happens a lot more than we ever hear about on the current media. The news anchor will more than likely not have a career when she is released from the hospital, and the children of the 32-year-old woman will never be the same again, and will be placed in foster homes of disrespect and cruelty if no family members will take them in. From there they will be turned out into the streets at the age of eighteen to fend for themselves with no life skills and deep set issues that will never be addressed due to their homeless status.
Sometimes I wonder why organizations like M.A.D.D. do not tackle this one, as it kills not just women, but children too, and the injuries and deaths occur more often. Every minute of every day, right here in America, women are dying or being seriously injured by domestic violence, that in some states, authorities still consider this offense a misdemeanor. It is not a felony 6 undesignated, or a felony 5, 4, 3, 2, or 1, as is the crime of the victim if she reaches her breaking point and kills the bastard for beating and raping her in front of her children for years, day in and day out.
Once again, my friend, you are correct! This is something that needs to be addressed all year long, every minute of every day, in every household across the United States and the planet, for that matter.
In addition, the law, as I hesitate to say this in fear of sounding sexist, is made for men, about men, by men. We only enter into it when it is impossible for them to ignore us any longer or it benefits them in some way. We have a total of 2.5% women in congress and the senate, and even less in the upper management of the major corporations in America and abroad. Most female CEO's are entrepreneurs, and have built their own businesses from the ground floor up with women as their main and sometimes only customer or niche marketing targets.
This is why it continues to happen. We have no power or voice anywhere that the laws are made, and most times where it is enforced. Awareness if the first step. Then petitions for changes in what happens to these men who abuse women, and how the enforcers address the issues when called to the site of the crime. Then lobbyists, as much as I cringe at that word are the next step. Once again, if we stand divided by our differences and ignorance, they will always defeat us. But if we stand as one motion, one voice, one fierce movement of might, we will prevail to change what this world has ignored for much too long.
Thank you for caring and for adding your knowledge and passion about this issue, as it touches all of us deeply that have been there and survived. (just barely, but survived still the same.)
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Domestic Abuse site and hotline =
http://www.ndvh.org/
For anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse of any kind; or who needs help because they are being abusive themselves;
(Those who have been abused sometimes become abusers themselves)-
http://www.webmd.com/balance/spouse-abuse-domestic-violence
http://www.azlawhelp.org/articles_info.cfm?mc=1&sc=4&articleid=84
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/common-hotline-phone-numbers/
http://www.ndvh.org/
http://www.manor.edu/StudentLife/Counsel/Support.htm
Finding a support group where you live;
http://www.usdirectory.com/nypr.aspx?afid=1937&cc=6241900419&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=cpc&OVRAW=support%20groups&OVKEY=support%20group&OVMTC=standard&OVADID=4053312013&OVKWID=40223845513
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Thank you Karen, for your many contributions~ You are an inspiration.
bb
)O(
db
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I find it sad that people are too afraid to get involved. There is a song called Alyssa Lies... it talks about a little girl noticing the signs of abuse that a teacher/parent ignore... here.. I found the lyrics:
"My little girl met a new friend, just the other day, on the playground at school, between the tires and the swings, But she came home with tear-filled eyes, and she said to me "Daddy, Alyssa lies" Well I just brushed it off at first, 'cause I didn't know how much my little girl had been hurt or the things she had seen. I wasn't ready when I said "You can tell me" and she said...
"Alyssa lies to the classroom,
Alyssa lies everyday at school,
Alyssa lies to the teachers
as she tries to cover every bruise"
My little girl laid her head down that night to go to sleep. As I stepped out the room, I heard her say a prayer so soft and sweet "God bless my mom and my Dad and my new friend, Alyssa
I know she needs you bad
I had the worst night of sleep in years as I tried to think of a way to calm her fears I knew just what it was I had to do *I knew exactly what I had to do* but when we got to school on Monday I heard the news
My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad the lump in my throat grew bigger
with every question that she asked. Until I felt the tears run down my face and I told her that Alyssa wouldn't be at school today
'Cause she doesn't lie in the classroom she doesn't lie anymore at school Alyssa lies with Jesus because there's nothin' anyone would do
Tears filled my eyes when my little girl asked me why Alyssa lies *Oh Daddy, oh* Daddy tell me why Alyssa lies"
It is sad that people don’t take the time to really pay attention and help other people. To help someone in an abusive relationship/ home does not mean that you have to even really get involved, make an anonymous phone call to the police, child services… do something. Don’t just sit around and watch it happen. People who sit by the sidelines and allow someone to be abused are JUST as guilty as the abuser. A partner in crime, an accessory. I think people need to think about it on the flip side, what if it were your family, wouldn’t you want someone to make that call? Wouldn’t you want someone to help you?
There are too many women, children, families in abusive homes.. and what people don’t realize is it’s not easy to just walk away. Women fear for the lives of their children. They believe the threats and sometimes cant even report the abuse to the police afraid that once the abuser gets out of jail (if they are even taken there) that they will pay the consequences. The abuser will find them, hurt them or even kill them. It’s a cycle that needs to be stopped, right here, right now.
I could go on and on, but I’ll just say I support you in this contest and hope that people talk about this subject so that more people are aware of what is happening and hopefully, maybe one person will take away from this the will to help another.. and it will have been worth it!
Criss
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It is very sad. Thank you for your contributions to this cause as you are correct, this war on women needs to stop right here, RIGHT NOW!
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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i want to help
i've written many poems about this topic because i was molested and abused for 2 1/2 years starting when i was 13. now i am 16 and it recently just stopped because i told someone. the police are involved and it's very stressful and painful to repeat what happened over and over in vivid detail. i'm proud to say that i've gotten through it and i wish to help those who are victims and are asking for help but are too afraid to speak up. those pictures had me in tears. survivors of all of this pain and abuse are inspirational for me and they inspire me to keep going. i want to save people like my friends and family saved me. -
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You GO girl! Silence is the ally of the abuser. In silence grows the shame and humiliation of a lifetime and only when you break the silence are you able to start healing. You are one of the fortunate ones to actually see something akin to justice being done about it. Hang in there as you can be bent but never broken.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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thanks =]
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Thankyou very much indeed for the Honourable Mention...I appreciate it...Congratulations to every other trophy winner and well done to everyone who entered and added their voice to this epidemic of abuse...I applaud you for the mandate of the contest and the sincere concerns that you declared for all women and their children...we must keep campaigning for changes in the law and for changes in behaviour of abusive men...finally would like to add a shout out for all those women who voluntarily care for Sisters in need of shelter...
Love, Light, Peace and Positvity
Yvettte
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Thank you for entering and contributing your efforts to stop this war. I wish I could have given everyone gold for it takes a lot of courage to tell your own story to others on a public forum. I only hope that all the entrants do as I have suggested and highly recommended and that is to post their pens on every public billboard they have access to. Awareness is the first step. Then legislation. Thank you again and may the Goddess bless your path within the light of blue, all of thy life.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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Thank-you is all I have to offer, first for running such a theme, and second for honoring me by placing recognition upon my words. I have just sought counseling once again and feel better already. I intend on making my talents available at the Women's Center in hopes that it will create further awareness. I will be returning to read many of the entries here. Right now though, my soul can not bear it. Blue
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You are welcome, and thank you for offering your talent up for this worth while cause of stopping a war that has never been declared. Take your time reading the entries, as I will not delete this contest but leave it here for others to scan when they have the courage to do so.
Only you could know how hard it was for me to read each and every entrant and then to judge this contest. As you are closest in kin as my spiritual twin. I love you Blue, and hope that everything you need you receive enough, and everything you want you receive enough.
Namaste~
)O(
DragonBlue
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