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Bright White Jackets

I've found a song that's spoken to me, so I decided to make a contest inspired by it.

I've been in mental hospitals before, so I can really relate to this song. It's not even a genre I usually listen to, but somehow it really captured me, and I fell in love with this song. I want to share this with all of you. The melody is purely blissful and the girl's voice is mesmorizing.


The song is "Bright White Jackets" by April Smith.

Here are the lyrics:


They’ve called the doctors
today’s the day
I’ve lost it finally
and they’re putting me away

I’m sure I won’t be quite the same
so before I go
I wanted
oh I wanted you to know

that a million men in their bright white jackets
could never erase you from my mind
but when they bring me back to you
and tell you that I’m shiny new
the girl that you see may not be me
behind these eyes anymore

I’ve never loved another
as I’ve loved you and do still
but I wonder when they’re through with me
I wonder if I will

so remember things I’ve said to you
and say them back to me
and maybe you can rescue me
from lunacy

so let million men in their bright white jackets
try to erase you from my mind
but when they bring me back to you
and tell you that I’m shiny new
the girl that you see may not be me
behind theses eyes anymore

they’re making me they’re making me
take these awful pills
assuring me they’re curing me
of all my evil ills

they say they’re saving me they’re saving me
so they’ll have me think
I was fine before they got to me
but now I’m on the brink of utter madness

they’ve called the doctors
today’s the day
I’ve lost it finally
and they’re putting me away

they tried to steal my thoughts
and all my memories of you
but I clung tight to them
because I always knew

that a million men in their bright white jackets
could never erase you from my mind
but when they bring me back to you
and tell you that I’m shiny new
the girl that you see may not be me...


Here's the video for the song so you can hear it for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UW_yY1a8Xw

Here's what I want you to do:

Don't re-write the lyrics. Write a simalar situation to this one. What do those million men in the bright white jackets want to take you away from and why? What did you do to make them want to "fix" you? Are they helping, or are you just going more insane by the day?




Rules/things you should know:

1. Shoot for something between 15 and 60 lines.
2. Keep it in poem form... no short stories.
3. NoNe Of ThIs
4. I will comment on all of your entries.
5. I will allow freeverse this time, however I prefer rhyme.
6. Enter as many times as you like.
7. I am a harsh judge, so don't enter unless you want to hear my honest opinion.
8. I really like metaphors and imagery.
9. Try your best with spelling and grammar.


Okay that's it. You may now enter.

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on January 20
  • Rewards: Gold: 1225, Silver: 936, Bronze: 506
  • Final notes:
    My appologies for taking so long to judge... this was a harder prompt than I thought it would be, judging by how many people entered... I wanted to get 20 entries... I guess that didn't happen. Oh well. Good job to everyone who entered! This was a nice little contest to judge.
    =)

Contest Winners

  1. They Think That I Am Broken
    I’m sitting here with walls of grey inside this tiny room
    with just my thoughts of you to fill the day,
    by Sue Cardwell 34 lines, 12 comments, on Oct 14 11:47 AM 2008. In Dark, Sad, Pain, Thoughts, Society
    Gold trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  2. Not Guilty
    The wintered walls whisper
    silently in my head
    by Bean Sidhe 32 lines, 1 comment, on Nov 1 6:55 PM 2008. In Contest
    Silver trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  3. They tell me what to do
    I cannot live without the dream of you
    I do not know why you have gone away
    by cricketjeff 30 lines, 7 comments, on Nov 1 4:53 PM 2008. In Love, Sad, Contest entry.
    Bronze trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]

Entries [17]

1 - 17 of 17

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Emilina
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ugh I have the perfect prewrite
    lol I might write a poem for it, but if you allow prewties please tell me


  • Onionducks
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I have a perfect prewrite too, one I wrote when I was actually going through this... actually I have a few of them!


  • Death of the Author
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wickeed song


  • Death of the Author
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome video too


  • Vampirestemptation
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing contest.....and very inspirational song choice song ..... pity i got here too late....ah well.....


  • seclusion
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Ah when is this contest going to end?


    • AutumnsFlame
      January 11
      Edit | Reply
      Hopefully in two days, if not, then whenever I get enough entries to close it. I want at least 20.


      • cricketjeff gold member
        January 14
        Edit | Reply
        looks like you have actually lost an entry now, I seem to remember there were 18 at one point.


  • Denierim
    January 25
    Edit | Reply
    This was a fun contest; thanks for holding it. And congrats to the winners.

1 - 10 of 10