lol 
See if you can think up something funny for a one-liner. Here are some that may make you laugh. 
Have you ever wondered about . . . . . .
UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
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Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?
Enter two times, if your fancy takes you on laughing fit.
See if you can think up something funny for a one-liner. Here are some that may make you laugh. Have you ever wondered about . . . . . .
UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Do Lipton Tea employees take "coffee breaks?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?
Enter two times, if your fancy takes you on laughing fit.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on October 4, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 300, Silver: 200, Bronze: 100
- Final notes: Oh, the cleverness here in this contest makes me admire you all SO MUCH! Thank you for sharing your humorous minds and making me smile. Every entry a delight!
Contest Winners
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4637065, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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How can one believe in anything,
when the word lie lies right inside• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [14]
1 - 14 of 14
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If an airhead is a brunette that dyes her hair blonde what does that make a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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by magicpie325 0 lines, 4 comments, on Sep 28 1:59 AM 2008. In Humor• Commented on by judge.
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by Black Narcissus 9 lines, 5 comments, on Sep 28 2:19 AM 2008. In Humor• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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"Smiles" should be the longest word in English Language; because there's a "mile" between two "S's"• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Gosh, I've missed these contests of yours! lol
Great to see you're back my friend!
Jeremy0826
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YAY!
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That's a great concept for a contest. I'm definitely gonna have to hunt down my muse and make something for this one.
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Funneeee!!!
You have me laughing up milk thru the nose!!!
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ONE-LINERS are back!
YAY!
Lots-of-fun
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oh you forgot
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables and olive oils made of olives, then whats baby oil made of?
hehe great contest though -
How many can I enter?
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In 12 hours if there are any slots left, I'll open the contest up to two entries. So peek in tomorrow morning. Thank you for your VERY SMART and FUNNY humour!
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How about "Tom Swifties"?
You know the sort of thing:
"They've cast me as one of the Seven Dwarves," said Tom, grumpily.
"I've learned a trick or two from that sex manual," said Tom, doggedly.
"I'm leaving you, Charles," said Tom, with gay abandon.
Separate contest? -
How about Confucius one-liners?
You know the sort of thing:
Confucius say - there are times when presence of mind is shown by absence of body!
Confucius say - swinging chain indicates warm seat!
Separate contest? -
did you know it takes 5 babies to make one bottle of baby oil ?????
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OMG
That was so funny. I especially like the last one
What an awesome contest! -
"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?"
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I know... I laughed, too! lol
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When a car turns into a street
it's a street car.
What do you call a Robin
who turned into a bar?
BTW: two of the four are lying. -
ooo
such funny quirks.
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1 - 17 of 17
