my apology.....
really sorry that this is taken me so long to judge, its really hard as trhey are all so powerfull. i have a migrane atm so need to go an dlie down, i am soo busy with college didnt realise how busy i would be, but i will try and do a bit of judgein every day
I am getting there and finding the root of my problems which go back to when i was little and dad locked me in my rooms for hours wedging the stick to get the ladder from the loft under my door handle from the outside so i couldnt get out and was locked in my room, i would scream and shout to plead to dad to let me out but he wouldnt.i would litrally hang on the door handle with both hands and kick the door with my feet to try to get out. but he wouldnt let me i had to 'calm down first' calm down! calm down!!!? i was about 3, had all my control taken away from me and frightend to death, didnt know when i was going to be let out (sometimes he would leave me there from the evening untill morning when i got up i was still locked in and then he let me out.
I would scream 'i need a wee' so he'd give me a saucepan to wee in!
cheers dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then there were teenage years when dad was depressed and would flip sometimesand really quickly he would shout at me, chase me if i tried to run into my room or the bathroom wich had a lock in it and on one ocasion grabbed my jaw and held me against the wall and told me to shutup and stop crying!!!!!!!!!!
grrrr!!!!!!!!! there were other times when he would shout at me and threaten to kill me one of these days if i didnt get out of his house, and that i was making him mad, he would hit his fist against his head and go completly off the rail. at that point it seemed really scary and terrifying. and it hurt. it hurt alot and it still does but its learning to deal with it and cope. and also it needs acceptance and not denial that this happend to me.
I try to forgive my dad, but its really hard. his 'abuse' has had great impact on my in self confidence, and my emotions. because i still have to live with him and although he is not violent now he was, and thats something that u cant just erase from your memorory.
(your part..)
...Yesterday i was listening to 'from this moment on' by Shania Twain it is such a beutiful song.
from that moment i desided to make a pledge to myself, i have been through hell and back for about five years now suffering from mental health issues mainly.
When i was listening to the music i desided to make a pledge, yes there will still be dark days but i want to be able to keep going.
From this moment I pledge to live my life to the full,
from this moment i will look forward not back
I will accept that I may have days when i feel down
I will follow my dreams
I will be strong from this moment on.
SO, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO...
i want you to write about
A. a reflection of either how you see yoursef,
B. how you used to see yourself
C. looking back how far have you come?
D. how far you are along you journey of life.
(you can also include all of or one off etc of these )
ok, PREWITES ARE NOW ALLOWED. but please state this.
genral stuff... no StIcKy cApS!
you can enclude swearing if you feel it describes your feelings.
I THINK THATS ITS!
GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK IN THE MEANTIME I'M HERE X
really sorry that this is taken me so long to judge, its really hard as trhey are all so powerfull. i have a migrane atm so need to go an dlie down, i am soo busy with college didnt realise how busy i would be, but i will try and do a bit of judgein every day
I am getting there and finding the root of my problems which go back to when i was little and dad locked me in my rooms for hours wedging the stick to get the ladder from the loft under my door handle from the outside so i couldnt get out and was locked in my room, i would scream and shout to plead to dad to let me out but he wouldnt.i would litrally hang on the door handle with both hands and kick the door with my feet to try to get out. but he wouldnt let me i had to 'calm down first' calm down! calm down!!!? i was about 3, had all my control taken away from me and frightend to death, didnt know when i was going to be let out (sometimes he would leave me there from the evening untill morning when i got up i was still locked in and then he let me out.
I would scream 'i need a wee' so he'd give me a saucepan to wee in!
cheers dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then there were teenage years when dad was depressed and would flip sometimesand really quickly he would shout at me, chase me if i tried to run into my room or the bathroom wich had a lock in it and on one ocasion grabbed my jaw and held me against the wall and told me to shutup and stop crying!!!!!!!!!!
grrrr!!!!!!!!! there were other times when he would shout at me and threaten to kill me one of these days if i didnt get out of his house, and that i was making him mad, he would hit his fist against his head and go completly off the rail. at that point it seemed really scary and terrifying. and it hurt. it hurt alot and it still does but its learning to deal with it and cope. and also it needs acceptance and not denial that this happend to me.
I try to forgive my dad, but its really hard. his 'abuse' has had great impact on my in self confidence, and my emotions. because i still have to live with him and although he is not violent now he was, and thats something that u cant just erase from your memorory.
(your part..)
...Yesterday i was listening to 'from this moment on' by Shania Twain it is such a beutiful song.
from that moment i desided to make a pledge to myself, i have been through hell and back for about five years now suffering from mental health issues mainly.
When i was listening to the music i desided to make a pledge, yes there will still be dark days but i want to be able to keep going.
From this moment I pledge to live my life to the full,
from this moment i will look forward not back
I will accept that I may have days when i feel down
I will follow my dreams
I will be strong from this moment on.
SO, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO...
i want you to write about
A. a reflection of either how you see yoursef,
B. how you used to see yourself
C. looking back how far have you come?
D. how far you are along you journey of life.
(you can also include all of or one off etc of these )
ok, PREWITES ARE NOW ALLOWED. but please state this.
genral stuff... no StIcKy cApS!
you can enclude swearing if you feel it describes your feelings.
I THINK THATS ITS!
GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK IN THE MEANTIME I'M HERE X
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on October 24, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 300, Silver: 110, Bronze: 55, Honorable mention: 3 people
- Final notes: it was so hard! please dont take anything personal if you were not placed in the top.
you are all so brave and strong to be able to share this with me, i just wish i had enough points to give everyone lots and you all deserve gold!
im really sorry for not ahve judging it sooner, i have been so hetic atm.
thank you for you patience and if anyone ever wants to chat, you know where i am xx
Contest Winners
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4562371, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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Hidden in a deep dark place
Lost inside this broken case• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
I could never tell you everything
• Commented on by judge. [remove] - Error: Unable to find finalist item 4577547, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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time slows down,
with the tick, tock of the rythmic clockby A m b r e a 47 lines, 5 comments, on Sep 6 7:48 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
I finally realized my stumbling block in life
the one thing that would always hold me back.• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
I am the child who lived for seeing her Gran
Who would sob her heart out every sunday nightby TeenageTears 53 lines, 4 comments, on Sep 12 5:50 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Honorable mention
Entries [28]
1 - 28 of 28
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never knew what i went through
even now it's all about youby paperbackwriter 35 lines, 4 comments, on Aug 29 3:54 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. -
This is not an entry, Just a little advice i hope you take seriously.by Janice M Pickett 41 lines, 8 comments, on Aug 29 5:19 PM 2008• Commented on by judge.
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i am buying new clothes again
no longer going to the places• Commented on by judge. -
It's plain to see the wind benieth the trees. Your addicted to the drug of lustby Emerald Rain 10 lines, 5 comments, on Dec 24 3:17 PM 2006. In Dark• Viewed by judge. Prewrite
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You sat and looked at me all night, you saw
the marks that were warn on my arms and body• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
a memory of when i was place in a yellow rubbish bin with the lid fastened, the day i almost died• Commented on by judge.
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Crying star,
frozen in feelings of emptiness,• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
I can't hold it anymore
I can't fight• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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What quiet albatross-the heart
when burdened as it may,by CookieZeal 15 lines, 20 comments, on Jan 13 8:54 PM 2008• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
I suffer chronic depression and severe anxiety attacks. This poem is an attempt to capture the moment of intense emotion.by FollowingFate 37 lines, 18 comments, on May 26 9:21 PM 2006. In Weird, Sad, Other, Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, True Story• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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I am a man with no fear.
But the last punch hit me so hard i couldnt hear.by lilronray 14 lines, 4 comments, on Oct 6 9:30 AM 2008. In Ironic twists• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
When you look at me what do you see
Do you see a girl, with no futureby darkchemgirl 49 lines, 23 comments, on Oct 7 12:58 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oof this is a very rough contest for me as I have bene through alot and well I am unsure if I could word myself in such a way that would describe accurately what I bene through and still make sense. I may or may not end up entering but I have one thing t say thoug: to everyone who does read or even enter this contest we all got to remember were not alone & we bene through alot each of us different things in our life but we all overcame it and with that courage-strength we all cna live better healthier lives. any ways
to ya my sweet friend and stay strong =)
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Got a great pre-write that would be great here...it never got the recognition it deserved because I kept it private for so long. Oh, well.
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It's great that you are willing to share it now. i may be opening it up to pre-writes later on, so keep looking, (however it must follow under the options ive given for this competition.)
take care x
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I love this contest ...
It is a way for precious souls to voice their sorrow ... and to heal. You had some divine inspiration posting it! Good luck with all of your entries. I feel they are all winners and enjoyed reading, for I see the shimmers of hope in all poems.
I entered some inspiration, but please, it is not to be part of the contest, but only belongs in this contest for all to read.
Blessed be, Precious One.
Love
Myra
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Thank you for the HM and congratulations to all the winners.
sj -
thank you
thankyou for bearing with me, even though it took so long for me to judge it becasue it was really hard to judge and i was taken away by time.
congratualations to everyone who entered you are all winners xx take care xx
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