Submit your best poem, and if you win, you actually have talent. In the improbable event that more than three people have talent, I'll let you know that you had talent but not enough to win gold. If I know you don't enter, especially if you think criticism will cause tears to form, or produce a reaction whose side effect is a thousand lousy poems about your despondency. Its time this site had a real judge, so here I am. For all the real judges hidden in the mist, hate me for not recognizing your talent--I'm impervious to the ill effects.
Rules:
3) don't suck or I'll let you know you do, which could damage you.
If you are 13 or 14 you probably suck, nothing personal, I sucked.... So be bold, but don't be reckless.
elephant) Make sure its your best. How I shudder in fear of what I will see....
+) Jerry Springer is judging the contest below me, all trash head south.
Rules:
3) don't suck or I'll let you know you do, which could damage you.
If you are 13 or 14 you probably suck, nothing personal, I sucked.... So be bold, but don't be reckless. elephant) Make sure its your best. How I shudder in fear of what I will see....
+) Jerry Springer is judging the contest below me, all trash head south.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on August 2, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 1500
- Final notes: It is common courtesy to comment on each entry. Fortunately I am uncommon, which is a real time saver.
Contest Winners
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4401021, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 4287293, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Entries [33]
1 - 33 of 33
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Just watch as she screams in pain / Laugh as she goes insane / Her tainted blood starts to stain / Let it tell its story, let it explain / / Just watch as the days collapse / Tears of pain as she finally snapsby I Hope You Choke 23 lines, 2 comments, on Apr 26 7:40 PM 2007• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Memories of a dream long ago – Wasted moments there
in sorrowby spideracer 43 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 20 8:29 PM 2008. In Personal, Sad, Anger, Dark, Pain, Depression, Hate• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by Age of Rain 40 lines, 14 comments, on Jul 17 1:58 AM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by ToXiC-AnGeL 30 lines, 9 comments, on Jul 13 6:15 AM 2008. In Pain, Personal, My Life, Own Thoughts• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by B Chandler 21 lines, 5 comments, on Jul 13 8:08 PM 2008. In Contemporary• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by the evil angel 23 lines, 6 comments, on Jul 12 10:07 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Caught in a web of..• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Brick and mortar fortress
of elevated stress patterns• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Just a random write I suppose you could say. ^^""by B.m.w 16 lines, 14 comments, on Jul 6 2:23 AM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Lustful longings
Dripping from salivated lips• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Sands of time fly on the dust devil' back
to create patterns of playby Dark Otter 56 lines, 11 comments, on Jul 5 4:20 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by A Prophet of 3 43 lines, 25 comments, on Jul 4 11:40 AM 2008. In Contemporary, Life, Society, Personal., Humanity• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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I want to write words that will tie your mind in knotsby Deformed Duck 53 lines, 10 comments, on Jul 10 11:38 PM 2008. In Contest, My own style, Freewrite, My Personal Escape• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Gone into the dark....• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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by Simply Simple 34 lines, 12 comments, on Jun 7 2:38 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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laziness
in spherical revengeby paperparadox 20 lines, 8 comments, on Oct 25 7:13 AM 2006. In Contemporary• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
You are, like Juliet And I am like Romeoby rainbowarrior 102 lines, 2 comments, on Jul 22 2:46 AM 2008• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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The bitterness on my tongue
spreads like a diseaseby milkinmoo 26 lines, 7 comments, on Jul 21 3:31 PM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Maybe we are great worldly men telling tales
of a bent horizon, and ships that sailby Hadji Murad 25 lines, 2 comments, on Jul 22 11:05 AM 2008• Viewed by judge. -
Sleeping child-
turn your head and sigh• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
A beast of a stone
unearthed and uncut• Viewed by judge. Prewrite -
Arched back to greet a merciless sun Devoid of some essential and serene joyby Hermit Risin 37 lines, 1 comment, on Jul 23 8:23 PM 2008• Viewed by judge.
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An experiment in cosmological language and theoretical metaphor• Viewed by judge. Prewrite
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Sunset A warm amber skyby Oresama 3 lines, 2 comments, on Jul 13 11:41 PM 2008• Viewed by judge. Prewrite
Add a comment
Comments
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I'll have you know, I wrote the beginning to this series of poetry when I was 14...and I think it was a damn good poem. This is the second. Finished when I was 16. If you have even a modicum of the judging talent you say you do, than surely you can appreciate the art I have just submitted to you. I'm not trying to be rude, or condescending. I just figured you might like to know. Thank you for the opportunity to enter this contest. And I hope you will appreciate this poem for what it is worth. Have a good day.
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Rimbaud was great at 17. Kate Bush published her first songs at 16.
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you ea, are one of the best poets, if not the best, on the site. why did you have to go with something so obtuse? and now the frail psychology of genius, injured by my fun, lays crushed and ironic. Commenting positively on my humor while setting me on ignore. I checked your page, young friend, you're brilliant. Give Vonnegut my Hello, that crazy chemist.
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I only set you on ignore temporarily, as I find that vicious commenters tend to continue the repartee down the page of my poem, which is something I do not appreciate. Well, I would say hello to Kurt, as I do go to Dresden from time to time, but he died.
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"Commenting positively on my humor while setting me on ignore." A sentence fragment Mr. Perfect
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A friendly caution to the 'Best Judge on AP':
The art of good judging is surely defined by the ability to offer an impartial yet constructive critique to those who have made the effort to enter your contest. Whilst you may argue they are your points you have up for grabs, they didn't exactly cost you an arm or a leg now, did they?
You seem to find a perverse pleasure in taking your commenting to a more personal level, which is tantamount to insulting your fellow poets. Don't pick fights...that's just very poor form, and not 'good' judging by any stretch of the imagination.
Not only that, but it's pathetically arrogant, too.
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So wait; can I enter?
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Eyes don't enter! I'm being horribly cruel to so many people, I might be cruel to you, and I could not live with myself if I was.
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But, but, you like my work. You wouldn't be cruel, you can contain it.
Please.
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errrm I don't think any of you had a gun to your head to enter this, I'm assuming most people that entered did so because they would actually appreciate the views of some one who wont just tell you your work is great to keep you happy.I applaud david for having the guts to tell it how it is and giving proper views on our works
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LOL WUT
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bwahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahah
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I eagerly await your scathing comments.
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enter your photograph, it would surely take gold
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My photograph? as in my avatar? bwahahahhahahhahaha
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....is this some sort of blatant flattery to get me to enter?
.....
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So far the best poem in here was stolen from someone else's prose. Come on, seriously?
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You people do realize this guy's just fucking with you, right?
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spoil sport.
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I'd love to enter this, but I checked out your poems, and your comments, and man...you must have two dicks, no-one could be that silly, just playing with one...
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It's pointless in me entering. The best critic on AP would see strait through me.
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I have only one problem...I dont know which of my poems is best!!! oh no...Ill work it out though...hopefully...
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Now I have a question....does it matter how long it is? coz my best ones are really short...
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If your poems are the shorter the better, just send me a title.
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Come on people, relax. Getting angry with me is like finding refuge from your own insecurities. And I'll tell you something else, the fact that you are proud of your work, whether its because you spelled all the words right, or made up a word that rhymes with octopus, doesn't mean that the human race has to be proud with you. I'm not your father--just because you've finally taken a crap in a real toilet doesn't mean I have to reinforce you with praise. To continue the analogy, if life is coming in like baby food, its going to come out mushy and green.
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Amen !!! ... now where's my beer?
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sorry, all my welfare ass has is PBR.
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ta for hosting & congrats to the winners
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Random. It's been a very random few days. So I decided to randomly sit here for 2 or 3 hours or more. More probably. Maybe. I don't have the stone cold facts on the time. Anyway, I read every comment you've ever made, and I might have laughed so hard that just a little bit of vomit may have come up in my mouth. I know this to be fact because I had to bend my head down to spit it somewhere. Then the double flowered hibiscus fell out of my hair and the dog ate it. Then he vomited on my leg because I was popping that bubble wrap shit in his face. It was probably a fair trade off. I don't know. I can ponder that later. Cheap dollar store fabric refresher cleans dog shit off your foot like nobody's fucking business! Anyway, I'm probably sorry that you had to be the random person I picked to read comments by right about now. It's that insomnia jag stuff. If it pisses you off, well...the Prophet told me to do it. Thats a lie, nut lets just sat that. Cinnarry
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