Welcome to another installment of The Asshole's Contest.
I'm your host, the asshole Avatar of Innocence.
Shouldn't be hard, right? The gold is worth 1000 POINTS!
This is a contest to challenge you poets by seeing how you can better the masters. "Good Poets Borrow, Great Poets STEAL". The contest's intent deals not with plagiarism (Please DO NOT copy and paste great poets poems or parts of their poems and call it your own)
The meaning for this is that good poets imitate the great styles and themes of great poets, encouraging you (and me) to become great poets who are able to STEAL those styles, manipulate them, and make those styles their own. That's what I want you to do.
Pick a poet (Besides Shakespeare and John Donne they are both WAAAY overdone) and try your best to copy/ improve on their style or theme. Perpetuate their greatness in your poetry.
I only require that you put the poet's name in your Author's Notes box so I can reference that poet, if I don't know them or they are obscure.
If you are a fan of a poet, and have a poem that fits this theme, then by all means enter it, I'm allowing pre-written poems.
Suggestions for WINNING:
- Spelling and Grammar are NECESSARY TO WIN!
- A poem DEDICATED to your poet will NOT HELP YOU WIN.
(Offer your remodeling of their styles instead as a
form of poetic dedication.)
- Forget About Shakespeare and John Donne (They are
great poets yes, but I'd like to see some poets I
don't already know about)
- Give me Anthology-worthy pieces.
- Avoid Submitting Love Poems, Sad Poems, Political Poems that are NOT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBRE!
My Promise to you, The Contestant:
I promise to read your poems, at least twice, so that I can get a better understanding of your poem, and so my moods will not affect the outcome of the contest. I promise to look objectively at the subjectivity of your poem and comment to the best of my ability on where, if any, improvements are needed.
As Contest Judge, I reserve the right to:
- End Contest Early
- Disqualify poems without notice should they not fit
my contest's theme
- Take my time to give you beneficial and insightful
comments
- Not Tolerate Bullshit from ANYONE (like whining/ or
bitching about how I run my contest "show", I worked hard to win contests and
comment on other's poems, so BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!)
- Add more rights to this list if need arises
Side note: If you want to enter this contest but don't have or know great poets, send me a message and I'll be happy to give you some suggestions.
I'm shutting up now...GET WRITING, START INSPIRING!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on July 5, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 1000, Silver: 500, Bronze: 300, Honorable mention: 6 people
- Final notes: Ok. Thanks to my wonderful co-judge Nicole Hanna for enlightening me as to why certain entries deserved their awards. We both agreed who should be the first place winner.
You contestants did the poets you emulated justice (unless stated otherwise), but the top three did more than just invoke the spirit of their poets: they put their own spin on the themes and styles and twisted their poet's voices until it sounded more like their own voices (versus the other way around).
Congratulations all. If you did not receive an honorable mention, then you'll get applauses if you haven't already.
Contest Winners
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A MAD GIRL’S LOVE SONG
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
A Poeme from ye Penne of ye right learned
Professor Dr Peter Buttocke, Esq.by Edna Sweetlove 20 lines, 21 comments, on Feb 23 10:16 AM 2005. In Nature, Humour
Silver trophy winner
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
i saw her spitting and cussing
ambient metal
by Rogue-Poet 33 lines, 6 comments, on Jul 2 10:16 AM 2008. In Contemporary, Abstract, Contest, Patti Smith
Bronze trophy winner
• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
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by The Voice of Victory 19 lines, 4 comments, on Jul 2 3:36 PM 2008. In Adult, Life, Contest, Sad + Mad, or just plain weird.
Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
by johnny nobody 25 lines, 28 comments, on Apr 21 3:27 PM 2007. In Adult, humour, bukowski spoofs Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Entries [10]
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1 I celebrate myself; I celebrate Him who brought me here. Of the love that bore me to world. You who bore me are the sky that holds the sun of my Lord.• Commented on by judge.
Add a comment
Comments
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Would a poem that borrows lines from a "Great" poet - andthen "develops" them be relevant. And also, may one enter more than once?
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Shakespeare and John Donne
Can I persuade you to relent about Shakespeare? I want to take him, and his friends, fishing on an English beach.
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Thank you so much for the gold nod...I'm thrilled and pleased that this work was worthy of the attention it received. I have always had a 'crush' on sylvia's exquisite way with words and it is an honor to have won with her piece as a spring board.
Again, my humble thanks and congrat to all the other winners!
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