I am sure many of you will know Henry Reed's brilliant wartime poem:-
What I would like is something similar, that is a poem about one thing with another poem trying to push its way in. I usually prefer superb meter and rhyme, but as you can see from the above, which I adore, good free verse is fine too.
Bronze and HMs and points added if I get enough great entries.
NAMING OF PARTS
To-day we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And to-morrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day,
To-day we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all of the neighbouring gardens,
And to-day we have naming of parts.
This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.
This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.
And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.
They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For to-day we have naming of parts.
What I would like is something similar, that is a poem about one thing with another poem trying to push its way in. I usually prefer superb meter and rhyme, but as you can see from the above, which I adore, good free verse is fine too.
Bronze and HMs and points added if I get enough great entries.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on June 22
- Rewards: Gold: 1000, Silver: 250
- Final notes: I got a lot of interesting poetry in this contest. Most of it wasn't what I thought I had asked for I really must learn to write clearer rules!
The winner though was just the sort of thing I had in mind. A poem about a normal activity that just wasn't enough to occupy the poey's mind, so it wandered, into another poem.
Thanks again to all
Have fun.
Contest Winners
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White light, shining through a window
in a nursing home ...• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
Maybe if I can make you pretty again
Others will want my help, too.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [11]
1 - 11 of 11
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The skipperless ship seemingly steered itself,
a seabound sarcophagus, circling, spiraling;
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Manicured, undulating hills,
mask the role terra firma fills;
by Expat4Cebu 19 lines, 10 comments, on Mar 24 2:13 AM. In Dark, Death, Life, Nature, Philosophy, Religion• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
“I seek a purpose father” the Knight said kneeling before the holy man “What do you mean son?” said the holy man in whiteby reservedforgreatness 49 lines, 1 comment, on May 17 7:47 PM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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He’d always been a racist
“send em’ back home was his cryby judmc 32 lines, 11 comments, on Feb 29 5:10 AM• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
fun-nessby Oktobere Sahnge 20 lines, 1 comment, on Jun 5 7:31 PM. In Contest, Nature, Life, Dark, Lys's insane style of writing• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I did not know this poem and am glad to have read it. Thank you
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It has a companion poem called "Judging distances" - you should try to read that too!
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three parts in fact the third being "The movement of bodies" but although both are good poems they do not have the charm of "the naming of the parts". In my ears.
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Imagination is the life preserver of the lonely. I'll see what I can come up with.
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I like this style of writing, the conflict between the head and the heart, what we say as we are feeling something entirely different. Is it a single poem entry?
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Oh, I can see this is one for those more imaginative and brilliant than I. Good luck to you with your contest. I hope you receive many wonderful entries. Patricia
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I love this guy's poetry - I've read a fair few of them. I chose to share it with my class when I was at school studying Alevels last year - we did a WWI module, this poem really stands out for me. I believe it's part of a longer selection.
It is a shame that the contest has closed as I have several poems that would fit the idea of one idea pushing another - many of my poems use imagery that is so strong that it acts like another subject in competition.
Thanks for sharing this with us, especially to show those who hadn't been lucky enough to come across the poem before.
Sarah
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