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Save me from Myself


This contest is for me. I have been having a very difficult time in therapy. I was asked to change my original description. I guess I am posing the question, why continue trying to work through wounds, that are so painful?

My father gave me a very special birthday gift the day I turned 4. That was the day he started sexually abusing me. It lasted well into my adulthood. I carry a great amount of guilt, confusion and shame.. I need to know I am not alone , that someone, somewhere understands this pain, and why I can't just "get over it". I struggle a great deal and feel as if my voice has been taken from me. I feel broken.
I am not promoting or supporting suicide. I do feel, at the moment, that my life holds little value at this point. My therapist is aware of these feelings..he has a 24 hour crisis line that can be called..I have no intention of offing myself. The emotional ego can die, without causing harm to the physical self. Its the shut down mode a trauam victim often deals with. If I thought,or felt like I was a danger to my physical self I would call the crisis line.

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on May 30, 2008
  • Rewards: Gold: 500, Silver: 300, Bronze: 150, Honorable mention: 2 people
  • Final notes:
    I would like to thank every one who took the time to write. It was a real help to me to know other people understand. I liked all the entries and had a hard time choosing.

Contest Winners

  1. Resilient
    by Poetic Tasha 36 lines, 6 comments, on May 23 8:44 PM 2008. In Pain, Sad, Hope, Contest, noguest
    Gold trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  2. no longer the blam
    What makes us better then all the rest Young and un-developed to be a victim of incest?
    by beautifulblackpoet 34 lines, on May 23 7:50 PM 2008. In contest, abuse, angst, life, pain
    Silver trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  3. Substance Chastises Style
    smoothing out the rough edges of hell
    so the cowards and nut-jobs
    by PerVirtuous 23 lines, 6 comments, on May 24 8:57 PM 2008. In Society, Spiritual, Abuse
    Bronze trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  4. Cant Let Go
    by Firequeen 18 lines, 4 comments, on May 23 7:12 PM 2008. In Contest, Dark, Sad, Pain, Abuse, Adult, Life
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]

Entries [9]

1 - 9 of 9

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Comments


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow thank you so much for the gold!
    congrats all


  • Firequeen
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the honorable mention.
    congrats to everyone.