pick one of these actual HEADLINES from the past week and use it as your title and inspiration.
Each HEADLINE may only be used ONCE!
(Poems need not relate to the actual news stories but they should be humorous.)
*UPDATE* DO NOT RESERVE USING THE WORD "RESERVE". PLEASE PLACE THE HEADLINE YOU PICK AS YOUR TITLE.
Computer Keyboards Can Be Dirtier Than A Toilet, Study Finds (TAKEN)
Duck Deaths Won't Go Unpunished, Vows Canadian Minister
Civil War Cannonball Kills Virginia Relic Collector (TAKEN)
Man Stuck in Machinery Uses Big Toe to Call 911 (TAKEN)
Gifted Pre-schoolers Require IQ Test
People of Lesbos Take Gay Group to Court Over Term 'Lesbian' (TAKEN)
Mechanical Squirrels, Robot Lizards Jump into Research (TAKEN)
EPA Might Not Act To Limit Rocket Fuel in Drinking Water
Ketchup Experiment Recovered from Columbia Crash (TAKEN)
Mystery Deepens Over German Poet Schiller's Skull
Woman, 75, Gets Phone Call About Her Funeral Arrangements (TAKEN)
Scientists Find Something Good About Big Bottoms
Ohio judge to decide man's fate for sharing snack cake (TAKEN)
Dead Babies Discovered in the Family Freezer By Grown Children Looking for Pizza (TAKEN)
Illinois man orders custom beer-can coffin (TAKEN)
Breast-fed Children Found Smarter
Cristian de la Fuente is a One-armed 'Dancing' Bandit
Black Hole Rips Apart Screaming Star
Golfing Baghdad's Green Zone: a course with real bunkers
image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image
ead_sea_newspaper.jpg
Each HEADLINE may only be used ONCE!
(Poems need not relate to the actual news stories but they should be humorous.)
*UPDATE* DO NOT RESERVE USING THE WORD "RESERVE". PLEASE PLACE THE HEADLINE YOU PICK AS YOUR TITLE.
Computer Keyboards Can Be Dirtier Than A Toilet, Study Finds (TAKEN)
Duck Deaths Won't Go Unpunished, Vows Canadian Minister
Civil War Cannonball Kills Virginia Relic Collector (TAKEN)
Man Stuck in Machinery Uses Big Toe to Call 911 (TAKEN)
Gifted Pre-schoolers Require IQ Test
People of Lesbos Take Gay Group to Court Over Term 'Lesbian' (TAKEN)
Mechanical Squirrels, Robot Lizards Jump into Research (TAKEN)
EPA Might Not Act To Limit Rocket Fuel in Drinking Water
Ketchup Experiment Recovered from Columbia Crash (TAKEN)
Mystery Deepens Over German Poet Schiller's Skull
Woman, 75, Gets Phone Call About Her Funeral Arrangements (TAKEN)
Scientists Find Something Good About Big Bottoms
Ohio judge to decide man's fate for sharing snack cake (TAKEN)
Dead Babies Discovered in the Family Freezer By Grown Children Looking for Pizza (TAKEN)
Illinois man orders custom beer-can coffin (TAKEN)
Breast-fed Children Found Smarter
Cristian de la Fuente is a One-armed 'Dancing' Bandit
Black Hole Rips Apart Screaming Star
Golfing Baghdad's Green Zone: a course with real bunkers
image: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image
ead_sea_newspaper.jpg
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on May 8
- Rewards: Gold: 300, Silver: 100, Bronze: 50
- Final notes: Oh my, I haven't had such a good time snickering my way through a contest in a while! Thanks for the hilarious HEADLINES!
Mystery Deepens Over German Poet Schiller's Skull
They threw poor Schiller in a grave
for paupers, realized they'd made
a grave mistake so twenty-one
years later they came on the run
to dig him up but could not tell
which bones were his, which was his skull -
decided it must be the one
with proportions gargantuan.
But when another skull laid claim
to be the poet's, those remains
induced a pair of grave migrains
in heads of state - made cultural
historians hysterical!
Still pilgrims of poetic lore
did come to call which called for more
investigative DNA
and now it's sure he does not lay
in either town, so well renowned
for housing Schiller's weary crown.
- Marcy Jarvis
Contest Winners
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
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Grumblings stomachs, time for a snack As we rummage through the ice boxby andywontdie 24 lines, 5 comments, on May 6 1:26 PM. In Contemporary, Contest, Dark, Humor, Other, Weird• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [10]
1 - 10 of 10
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Mabel came in from shopping
And checked the messagesby judyjudyjudy 80 lines, 2 comments, on May 5 9:30 AM. In Contest• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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I ordered my final resting place designed after my favorite past timeby buffsab99 13 lines, 13 comments, on May 5 10:04 AM• Commented on by judge.
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There once was a man from Chicago
got stuck in a marriage with Margaux• Commented on by judge. -
A relic collector quite dim
played with old cannonballs on a whim.• Commented on by judge.
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I heard about the Lesbo one, but man some of these makes wanna go read the news, rofl. awesome contest, im getting whacky ideas as we speak
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seems like your link is broken got an error page saying that it either moved or deleted
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it should say Dead_sea_newspaper from the Wikipedia but the colon that precedes the D in Dead turns the link into an emoticon; I have had this problem before - there's nothing I can do about it.
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rofl
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I've added some more; you better drag it!
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Are reservations ok?
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yes, if you're committed to the news You can put your title in and write it within a couple days after closing.
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Yayyyyyyy thanks
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I like the photo; and your contest is certainly original.
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Hope to see you've chosen one.
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Congratulations to the winners and thanks for hosting
Gaylene
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Thanks, Alice. I'll never dribble on my keyboard again without thinking of you.
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Thanks for hosting and congrats to the winners
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Thank YOU! It was so much fun seeing what order and which headlines got picked. I was really rooting for Ohio Man so you did well. lol.
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I have one...
It's for Scientists Find Something Good About Big Bottoms -
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oh really? Sorry I just noticed this comment and went to your page but didn't see this poem. Send me the link.
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Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
