Update - 6th May
I must apologise for the delay. However I am currently recovering from a car crash, nursing broken rib, buggered back and neck and generally feeling older and way more mortal. My co host is also not in good health and I certainly wish her a speedy recovery. This comp will be judged and completed later in the week.
David
PS and if the moderators could now fuck off and give me some space to judge this without constant reminders that would just about make my life complete.
This is not an anonymous contest so place your name in author's note
Simple- it’s in two parts.
You may enter a new poem direct from that deep well of inspiration or a regurgitated prewritten gem that as yet has not won gold but obviously so brilliant, it should have.
Any entry of yours has to have the following disclaimer in the author’s notes otherwise take that piece of shit elsewhere.
In the author’s notes – NO WHERE ELSE so don’t ask. Cut and paste the following-
“I have slaved long and hard to produce something of real value that I know will live long after I am buried with the greats. However DP Robertson & Desiree Darkk has the right to comment on this masterpiece of mine anyway they see fit, in any manner of speech they see fit. This may include disparaging phrases, unflattering comments and straight out “what the fuck is this steaming mound of horse shit” type abuse. DP Robertson & Desiree Darkk will be constructive where possible but sometimes, well, if my poem, in their esteem opinion, sucks the big one they can let me know bluntly or otherwise. Should I receive one of these critical onslaughts because maybe Des or David had a long day or mine was unlucky enough to be the one that broke their spirit, I WAIVE MY RIGHT TO COMPLAIN TO THE MODERATORS OR OWNER OF AP, TICKET THEM IN ANYWAY OR TRY AND GET THE VINDICTIVE PRICKS BANNED…no matter how shat off I am with their response to my beloved ode.”
Post that disclaimer or piss off and don’t darken our door way
PART TWO – VERY IMPORTANT
Give us a link to your favourite poem that has not won gold and write a reasonable review on it. By the way, you may have written a reasonable review already. That review has to extend further than “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO its really, really goooooood….” Fuck off with that type of crap. An articulate review. We are writing a review, no matter how uncomplimentary for your piece of bog, the least you can do is write one for us with a little thought going in to it
This will count for your gold just as much as the poem.
So make sure you understand that the poem you are commenting on has not won gold and the poem of yours that you enter has not won gold.
So to recap.
Enter your new or prewritten poem that has not won gold
Enter the disclaimer on the author’s notes only. No disclaimer, no entry.
Place your name in author's notes so we know which comment is yours.
Enter the link in your author’s notes to the other person’s poem and a quick reason in the author’s notes why you like it.
Make sure it has not won gold and it IS NOT YOURS BUT SOME OTHER WRITER AT AP
Make sure it has been given a proper review from you in that poem’s comments so that we can read it and assess the standard of that review.
For doing all that the winner receives for their stunning poem and equally stunning review 1680 points & a gold thingy. Second 700, third, 200, 4 honourables at 30 each and the best poem you nominate gets 300 points and a gold thingy.
Both of us will decide jointly and heated IM’s will ensue. After much blood, a winner will be announced.
By the way one week or one hundred entries but we may close it earlier on a whim, so be quick.
I must apologise for the delay. However I am currently recovering from a car crash, nursing broken rib, buggered back and neck and generally feeling older and way more mortal. My co host is also not in good health and I certainly wish her a speedy recovery. This comp will be judged and completed later in the week.
David
PS and if the moderators could now fuck off and give me some space to judge this without constant reminders that would just about make my life complete.
This is not an anonymous contest so place your name in author's note
Simple- it’s in two parts.
You may enter a new poem direct from that deep well of inspiration or a regurgitated prewritten gem that as yet has not won gold but obviously so brilliant, it should have.
Any entry of yours has to have the following disclaimer in the author’s notes otherwise take that piece of shit elsewhere.
In the author’s notes – NO WHERE ELSE so don’t ask. Cut and paste the following-
“I have slaved long and hard to produce something of real value that I know will live long after I am buried with the greats. However DP Robertson & Desiree Darkk has the right to comment on this masterpiece of mine anyway they see fit, in any manner of speech they see fit. This may include disparaging phrases, unflattering comments and straight out “what the fuck is this steaming mound of horse shit” type abuse. DP Robertson & Desiree Darkk will be constructive where possible but sometimes, well, if my poem, in their esteem opinion, sucks the big one they can let me know bluntly or otherwise. Should I receive one of these critical onslaughts because maybe Des or David had a long day or mine was unlucky enough to be the one that broke their spirit, I WAIVE MY RIGHT TO COMPLAIN TO THE MODERATORS OR OWNER OF AP, TICKET THEM IN ANYWAY OR TRY AND GET THE VINDICTIVE PRICKS BANNED…no matter how shat off I am with their response to my beloved ode.”
Post that disclaimer or piss off and don’t darken our door way
PART TWO – VERY IMPORTANT
Give us a link to your favourite poem that has not won gold and write a reasonable review on it. By the way, you may have written a reasonable review already. That review has to extend further than “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO its really, really goooooood….” Fuck off with that type of crap. An articulate review. We are writing a review, no matter how uncomplimentary for your piece of bog, the least you can do is write one for us with a little thought going in to it
This will count for your gold just as much as the poem.
So make sure you understand that the poem you are commenting on has not won gold and the poem of yours that you enter has not won gold.
So to recap.
Enter your new or prewritten poem that has not won gold
Enter the disclaimer on the author’s notes only. No disclaimer, no entry.
Place your name in author's notes so we know which comment is yours.
Enter the link in your author’s notes to the other person’s poem and a quick reason in the author’s notes why you like it.
Make sure it has not won gold and it IS NOT YOURS BUT SOME OTHER WRITER AT AP
Make sure it has been given a proper review from you in that poem’s comments so that we can read it and assess the standard of that review.
For doing all that the winner receives for their stunning poem and equally stunning review 1680 points & a gold thingy. Second 700, third, 200, 4 honourables at 30 each and the best poem you nominate gets 300 points and a gold thingy.
Both of us will decide jointly and heated IM’s will ensue. After much blood, a winner will be announced.
By the way one week or one hundred entries but we may close it earlier on a whim, so be quick.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on May 12
- Rewards: Gold: 1680, Silver: 700, Bronze: 200, Honorable mention: 4 people
- Final notes: Thank you for your patience but unfortunately I have been a little battered after the car I was a passenger in, ended up in a ditch. As we hurtled towards the chasm my immediate thought was of course, “Fuck me, I haven’t judged that comp yet. Hope I don’t die because that would me a moderator would have to do it.” And that really is a fate worse than death.
Well there were many, many entries that didn’t do both parts and were shot before they even began. There were the usual amount of doggerel and some brilliant pieces.
Thank you and to those who won and placed, I would recommend what they wrote, their review and the poem they chose. The first three places were exceptional.
On a personal note, I lost my co host from ill health and I wish Des a quick recovery and my thoughts and love are with her.
Thank you
Contest Winners
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“Beyond the window
&nb• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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And it began as a new face should,
no full seasons, drops of tears or smiles,• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
by Edna Sweetlove 97 lines, 11 comments, on Apr 9 7:45 AM. In Prose, Abuse, Adult, English Public Schools, Sadism, Caning, Short Story
Honorable winner• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
Once the King of the Stars manifested himself as a lion. The Queen of Fairies came by manifested as a firefly, and landed on his nose. She• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [12]
1 - 12 of 12
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Hold my hand, I'll comfort you
Remember me, and smile• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Silver moon
Golden sunby Angel Moon 18 lines, 6 comments, on Apr 10 1:12 PM. In Inspirational, My own style, Lost in thought, Thoughts• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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.... interesting requirements....
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Ooooo this sounds like fun! Bookmarked!
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Bookmarked!
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lol My head is just done in reading all this but hey you only live once and I have a thick shell
, I'll give it a go!
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"Regurgitated" That doesn't make the PW option sound appealing but that is what I may do.
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hmm.... while I laughed my head off and totally understand the disclaimer... I unfortunatly found the rest hard to understand... one minute you say that it is anomynous and the next not....
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LOL. I always love the disclaimers you come up with.
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Okay, what if the poem I enter has won gold before but I deleted it from my author page, then down the line re-submitted it to my author page, and it doesn't have a gold? Because any of the poems I think hold any value, at one time probably won gold on here.
Or, or, could I delete a poem from my author page that has a gold trophy, and then resubmit it here?
All this means nothing because I don't have a "favorite" poem by another member (or even of myself for that matter) that I feel deserves gold but hasn't 'cause I ceased really reading the poetry of this website based on the fact that we all suck.
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Oh, I just noticed it's closed. I really need to read better. eh, I'm getting old.
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eh, I'm getting (g)old.
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True on both counts.
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Aww fuck i missed it...i couold have done with a few more points to add the million i already have, they're a bit like airmiles really, look great on paper but worth shit all!
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I'm glad you are alright- by all means- nurse yourself back to decent health before worrying about the contest!
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I would have loved to submit JUST to have the disclaimer.
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