Welcome to the Asshole-Jerk's Contest!
I'm the Asshole, this is my contest. Co-Judged by the Honorable Kyo-N! Yippee!
-=[ I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CRITICALLY CRITIQUE YOUR POEM SHOULD THE DESIRE ARISE-- OR NOT ]=-
Okay...I'll take what you have.
Due to the whiny nature of some contestants, and their dedication to an inverse of freedom, just give me what you have...anything at all. Some people were whining and crying that I stifle creativity by limiting what I DO NOT want to read. Trust me, if you've been on this site long enough, you will get tired of reading garbage.
To humor those "poets" however, and possibly to prove whether or not they were right (I do on occasion, eat humble pie, but I'm trying to watch my girlish figure) I'll give those "poets" what they want.
That being said:
There are poets out there that just want their poem read without fear of disqualification for not following rules. I don't have any rules for this contest. Hell, go ahead with the sticky caps or sad poetry. I'll read it. I may not give you a great comment, BUT I shall comment nonetheless. I promise to read your poetry. Go ahead. Surprise me.
-=[ HOWEVER ]=-
Poems that have a HIGH chance of NOT WINNING:
- Love Poems
- Erotica
- Political Poems or Society-based Poems
- Sad/ Suicidal/ Emo/ Cutting Poems
- Rhyming poems (Unless Spenserian Sonnets)
- Haiku/ Senryuu
- Humor
- Extremely Dark Poems
- Epic Poems (Poems exceeding 100 Lines)
- Cliche' Poems
- Angsty Teen Poems
- Fantasy Poems
- Personal/ Break-up/ Gender/Transgender-bashing Poems
- Super Religious Poems
There are also some poets out there who believe they will change my mind with the "genius" of their work. Hell, I sure hope so. I highly doubt it, but I wouldn't mind being wrong once in a while.
Any of the poems not mentioned have a GREAT chance of WINNING. There are too many to name, but if your poem doesn't fit the categories listed above, you just might be a shoo-in.
If I leave a pretty lengthy comment, you have a SUPER-GREAT chance of winning.
I reserve the right to:
- Critically critique poems I want to
- End the contest early
- Add a judge if I deem necessary
Yup, that's about it. I'll give you updates or notes if necessary.
I'll shut up now...You get to writing/submitting.
I'm the Asshole, this is my contest. Co-Judged by the Honorable Kyo-N! Yippee!
-=[ I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CRITICALLY CRITIQUE YOUR POEM SHOULD THE DESIRE ARISE-- OR NOT ]=-
Okay...I'll take what you have.
Due to the whiny nature of some contestants, and their dedication to an inverse of freedom, just give me what you have...anything at all. Some people were whining and crying that I stifle creativity by limiting what I DO NOT want to read. Trust me, if you've been on this site long enough, you will get tired of reading garbage.
To humor those "poets" however, and possibly to prove whether or not they were right (I do on occasion, eat humble pie, but I'm trying to watch my girlish figure) I'll give those "poets" what they want.
That being said:
There are poets out there that just want their poem read without fear of disqualification for not following rules. I don't have any rules for this contest. Hell, go ahead with the sticky caps or sad poetry. I'll read it. I may not give you a great comment, BUT I shall comment nonetheless. I promise to read your poetry. Go ahead. Surprise me.
-=[ HOWEVER ]=-
Poems that have a HIGH chance of NOT WINNING:
- Love Poems
- Erotica
- Political Poems or Society-based Poems
- Sad/ Suicidal/ Emo/ Cutting Poems
- Rhyming poems (Unless Spenserian Sonnets)
- Haiku/ Senryuu
- Humor
- Extremely Dark Poems
- Epic Poems (Poems exceeding 100 Lines)
- Cliche' Poems
- Angsty Teen Poems
- Fantasy Poems
- Personal/ Break-up/ Gender/Transgender-bashing Poems
- Super Religious Poems
There are also some poets out there who believe they will change my mind with the "genius" of their work. Hell, I sure hope so. I highly doubt it, but I wouldn't mind being wrong once in a while.
Any of the poems not mentioned have a GREAT chance of WINNING. There are too many to name, but if your poem doesn't fit the categories listed above, you just might be a shoo-in.
If I leave a pretty lengthy comment, you have a SUPER-GREAT chance of winning.
I reserve the right to:
- Critically critique poems I want to
- End the contest early
- Add a judge if I deem necessary
Yup, that's about it. I'll give you updates or notes if necessary.
I'll shut up now...You get to writing/submitting.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on March 16, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 500, Silver: 60, Bronze: 25, Honorable mention: 1 people
- Final notes: Thank you everyone for your time, consideration and continued patience. I based my decisions heavily on my co-judges input, mostly because I am an asshole, and there are times when decisions made on my own shouldn't be trusted. So that is why I asked for help.
On the plus side though, I discovered I was right-- about a lot of things...
Contest Winners
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
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• Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
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Sirens in the distant night
But we just kept on dancing• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Honorable mention
Entries [13]
1 - 13 of 13
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Rhythm's bountiful cascades cleanse poetic spirit,by sunflowerpoet 20 lines, 13 comments, on Feb 25 4:38 AM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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When it's much too hard to treasure the rain a silent muddy mixtureby JadalaStar 19 lines, 2 comments, on Nov 12 5:47 AM 2007. In Lyrics, Thoughts, Weird, Contemporary, Personal• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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forsaken / promises / on the water / in the mist / quietly / I find / somewhere else / Far and alone / ocean floors / miles away / ancient• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Fantasy pulls one way and circumstances push another as we try to separate reality from illusion.
Desire and responsibility pulling and tuby JadalaStar 13 lines, 12 comments, on Jan 5 7:21 PM 2007• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
My father believed, but I knew he was wrong. Born a hundred years too late to think the way he did.by fanniesson 25 lines, 2 comments, on Mar 2 11:00 AM 2008• Commented on by judge.
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Popsicle sticks and rumored bliss Oh how my life can be ruled with thisby risktravel1newmoon 13 lines, 1 comment, on Mar 2 3:49 PM 2008• Commented on by judge.
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