500 points to the winner, 150 to second and 50 to third and possibly some hideous green trophies for those who came close without really touching glory.
The entered piece must not have won gold previously or at the time of judging. Prewrites are acceptable and the comp will close anytime I feel like it or I am simply overwhelmed by the amount of shit I am deluged by. Possibly Feb 5th at this stage but the way its looking, could be sooner.
THIS MUST BE IN THE AUTHOR’S NOTES OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT BE JUDGED.
“I accept that DP Robertson can be a complete prick when it comes to commenting on something he obviously doesn’t like – I have waived my right to complain to moderators and owner of this site about his help wrapped in thistles type comments on my beloved poetry. Although I believe DP Robertson may have a bitter and twisted side to his nature, he has the right to criticise my doggerel anyway he sees fit with whatever words he chooses.”
Put that in your author’s notes with your poem or fuck off.
By the way, as these are anonymous entries I am not interested or fazed by how young you are, your poem will be treated as an adult poem and commented in the same adult manner as everyone else. I don’t care if you are a half blind, deformed deaf kid with no arms and you managed to write your poem of lost love by wedging a pencil up your clacker and typing the thing out one letter at a time, it will be judged the same as every one else and what is being judged is the merit of the poetry and how it connects to me.
Another small note - Should you have an overwhelming desire to inflict a hundred line plus poem on me, it better be fucking fascinating and brilliantly written otherwise it could be dealt with in a less than pleasant manner.
There are a few pieces that have been given the bum's rush as they have either won gold or have not placed the disclaimer in the author's notes. They will be given the bullet without even being looked at if there is no disclaimer.
The entered piece must not have won gold previously or at the time of judging. Prewrites are acceptable and the comp will close anytime I feel like it or I am simply overwhelmed by the amount of shit I am deluged by. Possibly Feb 5th at this stage but the way its looking, could be sooner.
THIS MUST BE IN THE AUTHOR’S NOTES OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT BE JUDGED.
“I accept that DP Robertson can be a complete prick when it comes to commenting on something he obviously doesn’t like – I have waived my right to complain to moderators and owner of this site about his help wrapped in thistles type comments on my beloved poetry. Although I believe DP Robertson may have a bitter and twisted side to his nature, he has the right to criticise my doggerel anyway he sees fit with whatever words he chooses.”
Put that in your author’s notes with your poem or fuck off.
By the way, as these are anonymous entries I am not interested or fazed by how young you are, your poem will be treated as an adult poem and commented in the same adult manner as everyone else. I don’t care if you are a half blind, deformed deaf kid with no arms and you managed to write your poem of lost love by wedging a pencil up your clacker and typing the thing out one letter at a time, it will be judged the same as every one else and what is being judged is the merit of the poetry and how it connects to me.
Another small note - Should you have an overwhelming desire to inflict a hundred line plus poem on me, it better be fucking fascinating and brilliantly written otherwise it could be dealt with in a less than pleasant manner.
There are a few pieces that have been given the bum's rush as they have either won gold or have not placed the disclaimer in the author's notes. They will be given the bullet without even being looked at if there is no disclaimer.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on February 11, 2008
- Rewards: Gold: 500, Silver: 150, Bronze: 50, Honorable mention: 3 people
- Final notes: There were some occasional gems on offer here. There was also some of the worst poetry I have read in the four and half years of being on this site. Pieces so indescribably awful that the writer must leave this comp chock full of confidence they couldn’t. even if they tried, write anything as fucking deplorable as what they had dished up in this comp. Without singling anything out for special crucifixion the same faults tend to repeat such as plonky rhymes, clichés and dollops of tautology and a complete absence of editing which makes an already knackered piece of writing into an seemingly endless torture. I am as guilty as anyone on this site of not having the sharpest eye when it comes to editing but I am sure people do not even bother with a quick dyslexic peek over their stuff and think, “that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!”
Some of those pieces that did make sense are well worth the read.
I judge by cutting and paste your poetry into word without reading author’s notes, looking at pretty pictures and simply judge it off the page as I would in a poetry book. Tragedy combined with illiteracy unfortunately in this comp is still illiteracy and was judged accordingly. If it connects, if its originally written and if it is witty all go a long way. If it was badly written and bored me shitless…well, you did agree to the disclaimer.
The poem that won was in this case a stand out. All those in the top fifteen are worth reading, all those not in the top 15 are forgettable.
Congrats to those who won
David
Contest Winners
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
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the poem reads like a tread mark
running diagonally across the page• Commented on by judge. [remove] -
by Edna Sweetlove 45 lines, 60 comments, on Mar 21 4:47 PM 2005. In Adult, Abuse, Dark
Honorable mention
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] - Error: Unable to find finalist item 3819031, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 3878454, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
- Error: Unable to find finalist item 3836511, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
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Fuck the government
Who keeps me brokeby bluecollarlove 27 lines, 37 comments, on Apr 16 8:37 PM 2007• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [23]
1 - 23 of 23
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It started like another wonderful dream
Like one that would last an eternity• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
by Stormy Days 14 lines, 7 comments, on Jan 29 4:54 PM 2008. In Personal• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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I'm sitting here alone in this empty room
Reminicent on the things that I've been through• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Haven't I always known that I'm too much
alcohol for anyone to hold?• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Oh please miss drew
this boy named Louby maralisa 16 lines, 2 comments, on Jan 18 9:58 AM 2008• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
Winter’s gentle harbinger
trained of golds and falling leaves• Commented on by judge. Prewrite -
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Close these eyes
for sight not willing to set upon• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
Add a comment
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Can't wait to read the comments for this one!
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I have put what you wanted us to put in my comments ... not in the authors box ... because I am not a member anymore ... I don't want to lose the picture and the font I used ... hope you understand ... but it's there ... just in with my comments
♥Jayda♥ -
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I personally don’t give a flying continental about pictures and fonts. This is how I judge. I take your poem and cut and paste it into a word document. I am not persuaded by author’s notes, pictures or fonts. Your poem either holds up on a blank white page with its richness of language, its depth of emotions and/or cleverness, humour, skill and how it connects or it doesn’t. So put the disclaimer into the author’s notes as requested or piss off and go find another competition that thinks border drawing and calligraphy is more important than wonderful, original, vibrant writing.
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TeeHee... love the disclaimer
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God as artist
Help me make this better. -
Someone should have a contest for the best contest description because this may be the funniest one I've seen here. The image of a deformed kid writing a poem with a pencil wedged up his clacker may never leave my mind. You are twisted in the most delightful way. Hope all is well, mate.
M -
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I'm good although this reply has taken me a while as I seem to have lost a pencil stub up my crack
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I'll be back David to read your comments
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This will be an interesting contest
I too will be back to read the comments.
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Me too!
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This made me laugh..
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Awww, fuck you, jack. I wanted to enter this bitch.
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by what's on show, fuck you, this bitch would welcomed being entered.
Jack
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please note that this should have been in the final six
cafe Society
by Luna Tique Fringe 43 lines, 20 comments, on Sep 6 9:16 PM 2007. In Contemporary, Life, Love
• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
my apologies -
You are lovely. Thank you
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I'll tell you one thing...if there isn't learning happening because of the comments you've posted on these poems then, there ain't gonna be no learning.
I must tell you that I read the comments of the poets that did not place in the contest first. LOL You are a stand up comedian David! I have been laughing for the past ten minutes or so. Goodness! If you were on stage as a comic, I would never get a seat near the stage. Hahahahaha
Thanks for the giggles before I got to bed. Hubby is going to think I am giddy for another reason.
LOL
I LOVE YOUMAN!
Renee
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DP. Thanks for the points. I only entered this contest for a chance to look back and read your comments. You're one of the few who make me want to come back here. I'm off on holiday now, but will attempt to run a contest inspired by your wit and intolerance of mediocrity when I return. Thanks again, I enjoyed this. UP
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