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TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 7 Humour

Sue Cardwell and I (I am Cricketjeff) are partners in rhyme, and we are both rhymers!

We both write in rhyme most of the time and enjoy reading other rhyming poetry.

We feel that rhymers don’t always get the exposure they should on AP so we want to encourage you all to write in rhyme.


Good rhyming poetry uses a steady rhyming pattern and most flow like cream down a Christmas pudding, so this is what you will need to win, not just a bit of prose with random line breaks and a few random words that sound about the same.

To promote good rhyming poetry, Sue has put up 10,000 points for a series of contests to find the best rhyming poets on AP.
Since then with donations from PassionsPromise, Dragon tamer and a range of others who wish to remain anonymous the prize fund has topped 20,000 points.


We started with a 2000 point challenge to write the best Christmas poem on the site, and are moving through 8 more contests to a grand finale, with a 5000 point contest for new writes.


You may enter as few or as many contests as you wish.

If you can RHYME and SCAN these contests are for you




Contest 1 Christmas 2000 points

Contest 2 Children’s 1000 points

Contest 3 Nature 1000 points

Contest 4 Love! 1250 points

Contest 5 Fantasy 1500 points

Contest 6 Sensual 1250 points

Contest 7 Humour 1250 points
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Contest 8 Sad/Nostalgia 1250 points

Contest 9 Feelings 1250

GRAND FINALE 4000 points - This will be for fresh writes only and will include all the previous titles as options, or if there is something you think we have missed, please let Sue or I know and we'll add that as an option too. We will leave the finale open for two full weeks including three weekends, possibly longer to give everyone time to produce a great poem or two.


Each will be a separate contest, so please only post poems pertaining to the subject of that contest.

We will endeavour to interpret the themes quite widely.



Our aim is to see as much really GOOD rhyming poetry as we can.


We encourage you to read other entries and if you comment in rhyme, Jeff will be giving away bonus prizes as we go!

Rhyming poetry only!!!
======================


A large element of how we judge each round will be on the quality of the rhyme, the flow and the poetry. You are much more likely to win with a well written poem that skirts the topic, than a piece of prose with line breaks that is right on the theme.

We are judging all rounds on our own feelings about each poem. We are not implying that the winners are better than those who don't make the final what we are saying is the winners have written poems that appeal most to two inveterate rhymers. Look at the winners of the previous rounds if you want clues as to how to win I would suggest something along the lines of a poem with as near to perfect end rhyme as you can get (if you think your accent differs from two judges from Southern England suggest how any words you think could vary should be pronounced in your poem), wonderful flow, this means partly getting your syllable counts right but mainly read the poem out loud and listen to the result! And pour passion into the content, we are both somewhat sentimental!
For a guide on what we like please read this column

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CONTEST NUMBER 7

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The theme this time is

HUMOUR

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(And yes we know that many AP users come from a country with a shortage of 'U's but this is our contest!)

You can use the picture Sue has chosen to illustrate your poem or one of your own but no picture is necessary. Please try to make the poems readable!
Funny or light rhyming poetry, my favourite!!!
This is definitely a field where free verse is left far behind the rhymers. Lord Byron wrote great comedy, Edward Lear the king of nonsense verse, Lewis Carroll of Alice fame, WS Gilbert who could out-rhyme anyone who ever live, save possibly Ogden Nash. Hillaire Belloc and so on right up to the modern day. Roger McGough or Spike Milligan and a whole host of others.

The best funny poems are often short, Limericks an obvious example. Ideally a single Limerick is a bit short to judge so a chain is nice but in this round more than any other a good short poem stands a great chance to win, but longer ones won't be discriminated against.

We love to see all forms of rhyming poetry, but the flow and the rhyme matter more to us than sticking to an exact formula. Come up with something new if you like, surprises help in comedy!

Gold will win 750 points and a trophy and kill at least one judge with laughter

Silver 300 points and a trophy and a judge needing both sides stitched up

Bronze 200 points and a trophy and judges unable to stand.


HM’s and HMs plus points will be added depending on the quality of the entry and we hope will keep us giggling for days.




Rules.


The usual site rules apply.

Please label all poems appropriately. This round is for
funny poetry but there will inevitably be some with "colourful" language or themes.

All the best -- Now Get Rhyming

We are bound to get over 50 entries so we will restrict all poets to a Maximum of TWO entries. This is to give us more time to read the others propery.
We will not give more than one major prize to any poet in any round.

Non-rhyming poetry will be DQ'd at once, good poets can read!

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on January 15, 2008
  • Rewards: Gold: 750, Silver: 300, Bronze: 200, Honorable mention: 9 people
  • Final notes:
    And another contest closes...
    A little disappointing for me this time, funny poetry is the poetry I love above all other so I was looking for a royal feast and it did not quite materialise. We did get some very good poems, and we got some quite funny poems, but none that made us wet ourselves unfortunately. What we had was a distinct lack of was funny good poems. Still enough to produce a dozen prize winners but I was hoping to run out of points!!!
    On to the prizewinners, first to say wonderful to see two new names for the contests in the top three places! Tiny Tim is a really good amusing write building to the punch at a good pace and great fun to read, The Audit, lots of really good (BAD!!!) puns and consistent jokes. Two downsides for both judges one that is hardly the poets fault, we are English and we don't get tax audits the same way you do in America so we are relying on TV sit-coms for our information in the field, the second is just personal preference, several instances where the grammar and the line breaks are at odds, this is probably less of a problem in a humourous poem than in any other sort, and it does get silver! Gold goes to Amera, at last!!! And strangely this is not one of the poems she has entered in the series that I like best, her best have come in rounds with stronger competition. That is not to say this was not a really really good work. Funny, with an utterly repulsive picture, and charming throughout, neither Sue or I are fans of the form but it worked well here. Well done at last. The HMs next, in no particular order this time. Jimmy Johns gets two, for both of us Jimmy has been the find of the series, if you haven't read his poems go and do so now they are worth every second and every re-read. Some more new names and a special mention for Legend who has scored in every round, I had read some of his work before but not realised his depth and range, thank-you sir for entering each time!
    Those people who made the final did very well, this means that both Sue and I wanted to read your poems for at least a third time, and after around 500 entries that is quite something! There were many good poems amongst the others too.
    Now we have some announcements to make, there are just two new rounds, and one ongoing to go in the main part of our contest but we can now announce where we go next. First to say we are looking for four main winners. There will be the winner of the Finale round, the "Rhyming Bard of AP" perhaps. Then we will have two special invite only contests, where you won't have to write anything and we will already know the order of the entries. A "best rhyming poem on AP" contest, and we are picking our favourites as we go to argue over at the end. Perhaps the really big prize from this first phase though is "The best all-round rhyming poet on AP" This is being scored by adding a score for each cup won. We do have a clear leader but not saying who is followed by six poets within two points of each other The finale will attract double points in this section and as a result it is still possible for a new entrant to win by gaining the next three golds.
    Finally there is going to be a new contest with a VERY large points prize for all our gold, silver and bronze winners, these people will all of course get information when that approaches.
    Thanks to everyone for entering this round, now turn your attentions to http://allpoetry.com/contest/2385487 and give us your sad or nostalgic poems, still waiting for this round's gold winner to tear our hearts out there! Then Feelings will start on Thursday or Friday this week with the Grand Finale to follow closely afterwards.

Contest Winners

  1. Grandma the Hussy
    Humor / Trijan Refrain
    by Amera 34 lines, 36 comments, on Jun 8 9:24 AM 2007. In Humor
    Gold trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  2. The Audit
    The agent gave an odd odd smile
    accusitive and stern.
    by PerVirtuous 56 lines, 9 comments, on Jun 15 4:14 PM 2008. In Society, Humor
    Silver trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  3. Tiny Tim - the Little, Little Barber
    My Friend I got a story It's a hooter let me say
    by Mr Doug 35 lines, 4 comments, on Jan 6 11:36 AM 2008
    Bronze trophy winner
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  4. When Wordwsworth Came to Town
    I wandered lonely in the crowd
    That thronged the streets of Notting Hill
    by jimmy20johns 58 lines, 45 comments, on Sep 6 5:03 AM 2007. In Funny, Humor
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  5. a Fridge Over Troubled Water
    It's 2 a.m. - you're in your bed -
    The whole damn world's inside your head.
    by jimmy20johns 18 lines, 33 comments, on Aug 24 2:42 AM 2007. In Humor
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  6. The Unfortunate Incident with the Budgie
    The unfortunate incident with the Budgie.
    The budgie sat it its gilded cage,
    by Blankscreen2222 13 lines, 11 comments, on May 21 6:41 AM 2006. In Unfortunate Budgie Incident. Tales from the Cage. Offbeat Humor
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  7. Error: Unable to find finalist item 3730764, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
  8. Error: Unable to find finalist item 3792459, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
  9. Day In The Sun
    by AliceinPoetryLand 27 lines, 6 comments, on Jan 5 6:31 AM 2008. In Contest, Humor, Rhyme. Picture Inspired
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  10. An Easter Error
    I heard a muted whisper:
    “There’s a stranger on the lawn”.
    by ecrivain01 18 lines, 22 comments, on Apr 8 7:26 PM 2006. In Humor
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  11. Grin and Bear It
    by Legend 63 lines, 29 comments, on Nov 8 11:03 AM 2006. In Humor
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  12. It's A Dogs Life!!
    by LadyDementia 55 lines, 20 comments, on Oct 9 2:23 PM 2007. In Contest, Life
    Honorable mention
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  13. A Slight Misunderstanding
    by Keith 28 lines, 6 comments, on Jan 3 4:45 PM 2008. In Adult, Angst, Humor
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  14. My Dentist Smells
    Sitting here in the dentist chair your breath I did not want to share,
    by Haunted-Memory 30 lines, 6 comments, on Jan 5 11:25 AM 2008. In Humor, Other, Thoughts
    • Viewed by judge. [remove]
  15. The Lament of the Lonely Toothbrush
    I'm a lonely little toothbrush,
    owned by a lazy slob.
    by annamoy 42 lines, 4 comments, on Aug 30 6:08 AM 2007. In Humor
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  16. If...
    IF i found, a great fat spider,
    Sneaking in my bed,
    by Blankscreen2222 51 lines, 24 comments, on Sep 9 1:13 PM 2006. In Silly story. Humor, Childrens, My own style, Freewrite
    • Viewed by judge. Prewrite [remove]
  17. Error: Unable to find finalist item 2572822, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]

Entries [43]

1 - 43 of 43

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  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    January 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations to the winners and thank you so much for the HM
    Once again you have pulled the rhymers from the woodwork. Thank you so much for hosting these
    Gaylene