Okay here it is. Hope it doesn't drive you too nuts:
E = M C Sauerkraut! or the Theory of OMG They're My What?
Alright, I want you to know I hold each of you personally responsible. I'm not going to name names, but I just hope you are happy. Every time I think that this contest is the LAST one I will have as collab with penman, YOU keep entering so I have to have another. Is there no end to this insanity.
I'll have you know that at one time I was know for running only respectable contests. Then, I don't know, I just thought, why not give the people something different. And I happen to mention it in passing to penman. How was I supposed to know that I would slowly decay from a pedestal of prudent poetic contests to a pit of pathetic poignant possibilities. Oh man, now penman's alliterative dementia is getting into my brain. See what you people have reduced me to? I just hope you are happy.
Well, let's get this over with, I do have an appointment with a er, ah, never mind, you didn't hear that. Okay on with the lunacy.
So here's the deal, a genius was born. No, I'm not going to give the sordid details. This is not an Adult contest! Besides, they have papers to prove his mother was over eighteen. Um, never mind that part.
Anyway, this baby, Albert Cabbagestein. Please no groans here, if you haven't been inoculated for penman - it is at this point, NOT my fault.
So this kid, Albert Cabbagestein, was into um, his version of the theory of veggie- heritage. (Oh man again with the vegetable thing. I did have to collab with a dude who is a diabetic and veggie-aholic!) Basically, his idea is that man evolved from cabbage and not monkeys. Except for politicians and lawyers and, oh forget it. Just work with me here.
Now what we want is a poem to explain this mess. That's right think of some fictitious relative (for obvious reasons) and write a poem about what makes them as appealing as sauerkraut. Use them carbo metaphors to tell us why they have a brain that seems stuffed with cabbage. Knock yourself out being as insane with explaining why you feel you were cursed by the spirit of produce with this lame veggiehead relative.
Rules:
1. No giving a vegetable slicer to a relative to use for handkerchief.
2. No eating orange peanut souffle while sitting on a submarine sandwich.
3. No roasting paper clips and your enemies behind in a blender.
4. No using a microwave as an accordion for serenading grapefruit.
5.NO MORE THAN 20 LINES(can be less)
6. Have fun
1st place - 1000 points
2nd place - 500 points
3rd place - 350 points.
Possible HM's
UPDATE! RE-OPENED FOR POET NAMASTEART WHO WROTE A PIECE BUT IT DIDN'T SHOW AS ENTERING.
PLEASE NO OTHER PREWRITES OR THEY WILL BE NOT BE INCLUDING IN JUDGING
Gaylene
E = M C Sauerkraut! or the Theory of OMG They're My What?
Alright, I want you to know I hold each of you personally responsible. I'm not going to name names, but I just hope you are happy. Every time I think that this contest is the LAST one I will have as collab with penman, YOU keep entering so I have to have another. Is there no end to this insanity.
I'll have you know that at one time I was know for running only respectable contests. Then, I don't know, I just thought, why not give the people something different. And I happen to mention it in passing to penman. How was I supposed to know that I would slowly decay from a pedestal of prudent poetic contests to a pit of pathetic poignant possibilities. Oh man, now penman's alliterative dementia is getting into my brain. See what you people have reduced me to? I just hope you are happy.
Well, let's get this over with, I do have an appointment with a er, ah, never mind, you didn't hear that. Okay on with the lunacy.
So here's the deal, a genius was born. No, I'm not going to give the sordid details. This is not an Adult contest! Besides, they have papers to prove his mother was over eighteen. Um, never mind that part.
Anyway, this baby, Albert Cabbagestein. Please no groans here, if you haven't been inoculated for penman - it is at this point, NOT my fault.
So this kid, Albert Cabbagestein, was into um, his version of the theory of veggie- heritage. (Oh man again with the vegetable thing. I did have to collab with a dude who is a diabetic and veggie-aholic!) Basically, his idea is that man evolved from cabbage and not monkeys. Except for politicians and lawyers and, oh forget it. Just work with me here.
Now what we want is a poem to explain this mess. That's right think of some fictitious relative (for obvious reasons) and write a poem about what makes them as appealing as sauerkraut. Use them carbo metaphors to tell us why they have a brain that seems stuffed with cabbage. Knock yourself out being as insane with explaining why you feel you were cursed by the spirit of produce with this lame veggiehead relative.
Rules:
1. No giving a vegetable slicer to a relative to use for handkerchief.
2. No eating orange peanut souffle while sitting on a submarine sandwich.
3. No roasting paper clips and your enemies behind in a blender.
4. No using a microwave as an accordion for serenading grapefruit.
5.NO MORE THAN 20 LINES(can be less)
6. Have fun
1st place - 1000 points
2nd place - 500 points
3rd place - 350 points.
Possible HM's
UPDATE! RE-OPENED FOR POET NAMASTEART WHO WROTE A PIECE BUT IT DIDN'T SHOW AS ENTERING.
PLEASE NO OTHER PREWRITES OR THEY WILL BE NOT BE INCLUDING IN JUDGING
Gaylene
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on September 9, 2007
- Rewards: Gold: 1000, Silver: 500, Bronze: 350, Honorable mention: 1 people
- Final notes: Thanks so much everyone for such wonderfully creative entries. We both had a great time reading them.
Congratulations to everyone.
penman & Gaylene
Contest Winners
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
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I’ll have you know we’ve been around,
not just fermenting in the ground.• Commented on by judge. Prewrite [remove] -
Uncle 'pickles' saw the doctor
because he had a pickled brain• Commented on by judge. [remove] - Error: Unable to find finalist item 3384104, it seems to have been deleted :( [remove]
Gold trophy winner
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [7]
1 - 7 of 7
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• Commented on by judge.
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Cabbage came on a mundane plate before a carbohydrate
It looked like it had been self asteemed in stock• Commented on by judge. -
You must know about the Irish
corn beef and cabbage reasoningby Roaddog Wolf 29 lines, 6 comments, on Sep 7 5:17 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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ummm... err... Okay!
I will certainly try to muster something for this one. Sounds fun an relieving of all the stressful challenges I've had of late. Love the contest idea and shall return shortly.
Amy -
You are a strange chicken, you know that right?
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Thank you for the compliment
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lol
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ok! a veggie contest..lol...
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remember,,,, never turn into a sour old kraut
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lmfao gran if i say it still slightly confuses me will it be ok to pass on by slightly smiling ][when infact ill be running around in a giant circle going WHAT THE HELL][
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lmao sounds cool.
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"No eating orange peanut souffle while sitting on a submarine sandwich."
There went my idea... back to the drawing board. -
Wow, I didn't expect gold! Thanks so much, I am glad ya'll enjoyed it. Great contest. Congratulations to all winners.
Jeannie
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