As some of you may know, (and who cares if you don't,) but I have recently been subjected to a rather nasty surgery that split me from asshole to appetite. Now, that being said, the bastards have sweeped clean my house of any and all traces of my beloved cognac and cigars. Not even a cigarette!!! Not a teensy sip of wine!!! BLASPHEMY I say! All I get to do now is sit on the front porch like some fucking old lady and watch my dog take a shit.
No stupid shit
No rainbows and unicorn shit
No cognac and cigar shit or I'll stab you in the face
So...write me something
write me something splendid and clever
No stupid shit
No rainbows and unicorn shit
No cognac and cigar shit or I'll stab you in the face
So...write me something
write me something splendid and clever
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on August 30, 2007
- Rewards: Gold: 1000, Silver: 500, Bronze: 250
- Final notes: Thank you everyone for some very funny stuff and thanks for entering! They all make me laugh, but the top 3 made me actually snort. Congrats to everyone!
Contest Winners
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by Deliverance 122 lines, 4 comments, on Aug 14 4:23 PM 2007. In Humor, humour has a u in it!, Adult humor
Gold trophy winner
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [17]
1 - 17 of 17
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man!
they dressed me in flowing scarlet robesby myriad-dark 25 lines, 3 comments, on Aug 13 11:18 PM 2007. In Abstract, Heresy, Personal, Thoughts• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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Tell me to be delicate,
learn your manners;by alexandrathegreat 47 lines, 3 comments, on Aug 15 1:34 PM 2007. In Sad, Spiritual, Personal, Pain• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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I awoke with thoughts in limbo,
my scattered dreams run from reality,by sheltered 14 lines, 6 comments, on Aug 17 12:04 AM 2007• Commented on by judge. -
The way you looked at her
can you blame me for being jealous?• Commented on by judge. -
She sits on her porch, on the old swing,
twiddling her thumbs, its not a pretty thing.• Commented on by judge. -
I have heard that getting old Is something I should dread;• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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glasses on in a seedy bar the man with the hat plays blues on the guitarby zorko52 10 lines, 2 comments, on Aug 26 11:39 PM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I never knew before of your surgery,I send you a heart-hug and warm thoughts,I cannot write splendid and clever but wish you well with your contest and with recovering and rejeuventating.
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and I was thinkin' Remy and a Cohiba...damn
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Damn, sorry to hear that. I would be lost.
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Good luck with your surgery. I'm sorry to hear I will try to pen you something pretty and cheery.
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Oh damn, I just wrote something and if need be, I offer you a knife to stab me with
[I hope in time you will feel less homicidal, but in completely unrelated topic, have you seen 'In the mouth of madness?] Such a divine movie. -
lmao! I loved the content of this contest ... touche!
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You can always
spend some time with me
no not clevor
just a thought to ponder
better than watching the dog take a shit
Mal -
I had no idea, Cinn. You should have told me, I would have had some new guts sent to you. Freakin' bummer, my friend. Keep me posted on your returning health. ~ Ed
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I have it bookmarked - and damn, I hope that you are at least feeling better.
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Yikes! Sounds rough! Last surgery I had, I gave a kidney to my brother 11 years ago,. Now they do it laparascopically. Big whopping incision.
I can sympathize, at least somewhat. Surgery sucks. -
Wow thanks ever so much for the silver
I am thrilled and honoured.
I hope the poems helped with your mood and gave you some good laughs! Hope you are feeling better (well a little
).
Congratulations to the other winners also.
Thank you for hosting with so many generous points also.
Gaylene
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that sucks man thats just wrong you should be able to live the rest of your life in any kinda bliss you choose
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