Write a poem dripping with sarcasm, irony or vicious criticism of any aspect of society.
Get it off your chest. But observe AP rules if you can. And don't offend me or anyone, except in a sarcastic yet caring kind of way.
Need I say? No grammatical faux pas of any sort or
OUT
YOU
GO
!!!
Contest will close as soon as three decent items in!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on July 6, 2007
- Rewards: Gold: 700, Silver: 100, Bronze: 50
- Final notes: I was very disappointed in the response here (apart from the winner, and the two runners up weren't too bad either).
It was a surprise to me that so few people appear to understand what sarcasm means. It is meant to be cruel and vicious. It is not (as its victims pathetically claim) the lowest form of wit.
If you see a woman in a horrid dress, it is not enough to say, "What a lovely dress that is!" as she might well believe you. Indeed, if you have equally bad taste, the statement might well be an honest one. A sarcastic comment might be, "What a lovely dress that is, I gave mn to the charity shop but they declined it on the grounds of taste."
Thanks to all who entered unsuccessfully.
Contest Winners
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by Professor Klosett 29 lines, 18 comments, on Feb 15 10:57 AM 2007. In Society, Adult
Gold trophy winner
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Nod & Wave / I've chains on our doors with my family under guard / From all sorts of deviants and others left in charge / A Mormon on everyby dp robertson 41 lines, 20 comments, on Apr 15 7:40 PM 2004. In fun fun and more fun in the burbs
Silver trophy winner
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• Commented on by judge. [remove]
Bronze trophy winner
Entries [19]
1 - 19 of 19
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You're all individuals / In your "individual" wrappers / Individually deciding / That you'll all dress in berry blue / Or very, very blackby FelineMuse 16 lines, 5 comments, on Jun 29 2:06 PM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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Oh, / how I wish summer was over, / school should soon come, / I want to tell my Mum. / I want to do Math, / Oh how I love Math. / Math belby Calvin-Hobbes 15 lines, 5 comments, on Jun 29 2:08 PM 2007. In Weird• Commented on by judge.
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They said he was a decent man, / With his winning smiles, / And his caring attitude, / They said he couldn’t possibly be bad. / They looked the other way at his bruised wife, / They looked the other way at his• Commented on by judge.
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I was in a fast food restuarant the other day, / When in came an obese lady, knocking all out her way. / I overheard her order, and thought• Commented on by judge.
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She walks down the street / with her tits to her knees, / and then sitting down, / crossing and scratching. / You know those ain't fleas. / She's an urbanite, yes she is. / living in cement, nby natchstucco 22 lines, 2 comments, on Jul 1 8:36 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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Upstanding members of the female and male sex / Are these wonderful celebrities, Posh and Becks / David demonstrates to the entire nation / The benefits of education / While Posh shows music at its height / Oh dear,• Commented on by judge.
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You think you are / what I missed. / To me, you just don't exist. / Your ego is something I can't believe. / You think you know me, but you're easy to deceive. / You think I need you• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Hello new poet, allow me to critique your poem...by wbiro 125 lines, 3 comments, on Jul 4 12:47 AM 2007• Commented on by judge.
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Can't understand the kids today• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Yeah of course I'm okay with you - my dearest friend, / being too faced and splitting up my girlfriend and I, / there's no way that could possibly bother me honey, / I don't curl up in bed each night and whimper oby Rainbowchaser 13 lines, 4 comments, on Jul 4 5:58 PM 2007. In Angst, Humor, Personal, Sad, Sarcasm.• Commented on by judge.
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Oh how sweet, the beauty in your eyes, / Them devilish things in wich shit hides. / Its cool though, that you can speak for moments on end, / If only you can give me something, to block the air waves from coming in.• Commented on by judge.
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I love you.....I love you for the way you protect me by telling me who I can talk to. I love you for constantly criticizing my accomplishments and telling me I can do better. You make sure I don't stew in my pride or gain• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge. Prewrite
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hey- hope you aren't going to count my "no captial letters" thing as grammatical faux pas? i can change it if you wish...
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never mind, i changed it for good measure anyways
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I do that as well, and change accordingly too!
I always think 'what's the point of capital letters unless it's a great thing?' countries and months and stuff just don't always cut it
the same goes for full stops! -
"captial" letters is a faux pas per se.
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Sarcasm is life's opiate.
Great idea for a contest.
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'sarcasm is life's opiate'.
I'd say shutting up and being quiet beats that for feeling dopey.
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What the hell! don't offend anyone with sarcasm???!!! What kind of impossible shit is THAT! lol sorry... Now if I could only turn it on at will... AND not offend... maybe I'll do a piece where I'm critiquing the poetry of beginners here... now THAT would take some deft sarcasm so as not to offend... funny, now that I think of it- I've been told to f-off more when I was being genuine... just goes to show you...
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A fitting challenge. I look forward to reading, creative contest idea.
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thanks! mine wasn't that obvious, but nasty enough, I thought.
I'll read the winners over the next day, if they're still up -
Sheenbot
I read your notes, and they were very rude. Where has your sense gone woman?!? You don't have to be that unkind to people thinking we're sucky writers! You're probaly even worse! -
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I was not rude (to you or anyone in this or any other contest). Frankness and rudeness are different things. Being sycophantic and telling white lies helps no one, saying rubbish is good is pointless; saying mediocre is "awesome" is foolish. What does "sucky" mean? I can guess at what "probaly" means, but "sucky" is too hard for me. Kindest polite wishes.
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