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Phrase Prompt: I

A quick phrase prompt
Closes at 10 entries
No more than 10 lines
Make them profound

DO I DARE DISTURB THE UNIVERSE

This phrase comes from T.S. Eliot's famous poem The Love Song of J Alfred Pufrock
A wonderful poem, a wonderful phrase

Thirty minutes
Closed and judged before 8:00 EST

I reserve the rights to:

-Remove your poem
-Leave critical, extended comments
-Leave short comments
-Probe your mind with a spatula and toothbrush

Best of luck everyone.

Contest is Over

  • Contest was judged on June 11, 2007
  • Rewards: Gold: 300
  • Final notes:
    First, thank you to those who entered. This is the most successful quick contest I have had to date, even if I only had four entries.

    The level each poem was written on is astounding and it was so difficult to choose the winners and discern even between 1st and 4th, especially with hardly anyone in the contest.

    I chose Universal Reign because the poem did a wonderful job of expanding on the idea of disturbing the universe. The use of poetic devices though is what truly captured me. The first tercet especially gripped my attention and the conclusion sums the poem up beautifully.

    I hide my face took silver because of the multifaceted aspect of the poem and the beauty of it. While I'm not a fan of rhyme the poet did it quite well. Even more impressive is the use of the religious overtone to express mankind's seeking of redemption and endeavor to find order and peace as the universe falls apart. However, I also viewed the poem as if we are slaves to an upper power, yet we have in a sense manipulated and taken complete control over the world.

    Puddle received bronze also because of the depth. The words were profound and each line was like water, flowing together so beautifully. The use of love served to find an attempt to find order in a dissolving universe, and yet that order seemed impossible, once again as if mankind is just disrupting everything that is simple.

    Delicate Disruption also receives a tremendous kudos. This poem, like Universal Reign, expanded on the line itself, and while not really expanding in an abstract manner, used such wonderful phrases and haunting imagery to depict the control of our universe and our planet by mankind. The lines are frightening and express the dangers of exhuming our natural resources and destroying that which exists around us.

    I want to thank these people. Your poems are amazing and deserving of their honors. Regardless of your placement, you all wrote such wonderful, hauntingly truthful poems.

    Excellent job to everyone and I really do wish I could give everyone gold. I'm not just saying that, each one of these could have won gold.

Contest Winners

  1. Universal Reign
    by sheltered 15 lines, 8 comments, on Jun 11 6:04 PM 2007
    Gold trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]
  2. Puddle
    Locked away / Water drip legality / Slips down a deaf memory / Too harsh for the velvet lining in your head / Breathing deadbeats into life / Too loud for peace / Is our love anything more / Than just a / Num
    by solipsistic 10 lines, 5 comments, on Jun 11 6:06 PM 2007
    Bronze trophy winner
    • Commented on by judge. [remove]

Entries [3]

  • Delicate Disruption
    To move the entire rotation of the world around us / To secrete fluid of a transparent nature / And bind one element to another / In the buoyancy and flexibility / Of disturbing the universe / With one, Earth shatte
    by burdened 9 lines, 2 comments, on Jun 11 5:56 PM 2007. In Nature, Other
    • Commented on by judge.

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Comments


  • lavender shadows
    June 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh no, not to toothbrush!

    I wish I could do this. *sighs* But I must veer into calculus land. Bleck.

    Best of luck to all