Connecting With Your Inner Child (Creative Writing Workshop)

THE CONTEST IS OVER!

All of the entries in this contest/workshop were absolutely amazing. It was a little agonizing to judge because I was moved by each and  every one of them and through them, many of my own feelings and issues surfaced and found new resolution and hope. I sincerely wished that there were more than three main trophies to give out here, because there were more that were deserving. I was very inspired by each of your stories and the courage that you all show coupled with your fantastic ability to transform your hurt and suffering into hope and healing.

Since you were all so good, I decided to focus on the following points for judging the winners of the trophies, much of which was emphasized originally in the contest criteria ;

Following directions: (i.e. making a genuine connection, dialogue or interaction, and resolution).

How it was resolved: Was I left with a sense of hope and healing?

Emotional Catharsis- Did the writing bring out the readers' own feelings and reactions. (I read other readers responses, besides my own, as well).

Poetic Ablility and Grammar- Important here but not the most important; was the writing grammatically correct and clear in expression, keeping it simple yet creative?

It was not easy to choose, and you all received points and Honorable Mention for your new write, which was well-deserved! Thank you all for participating in this workshop contest and I know it was not an easy one. I am grateful for those of you who felt ready to take up the challenge as well as for those of you who had the wisdom to know if it wasn't right for you now.

 

CONTEST CRITERIA:

I have been wanting to do this contest for a while. I have plenty of points to give away, and I want to do something that is uplifting for my fellow poets. Many of you, like me, suffer from depression. Not to long ago, I began the healing work of connecting with my Inner Child. It started with an introduction to her and took off from there in the form of several dialogs with her and some poems. I would like to share some of this with you, and try to give you a beginning tool for this.

It is quite simple really, and you should take it very slowly and easily. Pick out an age when you were a child that you feel drawn to between the ages of birth to ten-years-old. It may have been a time when you were most happy or very sad, or when a lot of changes occurred in your life, (such as your parents divorced, you moved, a birthday party etc). Find a quiet, peaceful place where and when you will not be disturbed or interrupted. You can be lying down or sitting comfortably. Close your eyes and relax, breathing gently. Listen to your breathing and flow with it. Make sure you are relaxed and at ease before proceeding.

Visualize yourself at the age you picked. See your Inner Child in front of you, in your mind's eye. Introduce yourself to her/him. You can do this through motion, or simple dialog, (depending on the age of your Inner Child). Whatever happens, remember that you are there to be your Inner Child's friend and to champion him/her. You may talk about something that happened. It may be a nice memory or an unpleasant one. Keep it very simple with your Inner Child and above all comfort and love her/him. Be there for him/her. Enjoy the happy experience with your Inner Child, or explain the bad one to her/him. Remember to only do what you feel ready for and comfortable with. For the first time, I recommend keeping it non-threatening and simple for both of you. Tell your Inner Child you are her/his friend, that you love him/her, and that you will always be there for her/him and love himher. Write down your meetings with your Inner Child. Make a story or write a poem about it. It can be a nice memory that you are sharing together, or a sad one that you are both resolving together. If you wish to continue after your first meeting, I recommend doing it once a day, at the most, or once a week, at the least.

If you have any questions or concerns about this, please feel free to write to me. This is not in any way meant to replace or be any form of professional therapy. I am only trying to share with you a writing tool that I have found effective in helping me deal with my depression. Only do this if you feel comfortable and safe about it.

Following are a few examples of my meeting with my Inner Child. I am presenting a poetic form and a story format. You can choose one of these formats or another, if you wish. Do not get carried away though. Part of this being effective is to keep it simple and structured. For example, your first meetings with your Inner Child are best if kept for a half an hour or under, depending on the age of your Inner Child. A three year old may only have the attention span of 15 minutes. A baby is even less, no more than five minutes. Use your own intuition, but remember you are speaking to yourself as a child. This must genuinely come across in your writing. In fact, this contest will be judged on authentic material that reflects real inner work and connection with your Inner Child. If there was a conflict, it must show at least the attempt of resolving it. One way is to re-live the bad experience  in a positive way, or with yourself now rescuing your inner child then from a negative experience.

For those of you who suffer from depression, I hope that you find it helpful. I have, and this is why I want to share it with you and encourage you to do the same. Love and the best of wishes in all of your endeavors! Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are connecting to your Inner Child, after-all. Try to be age-appropriate with that child. Speak to the child in a way that the child will understand. Be a friend to your inner child!

FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS CONTEST DO NOT DELVE INTO ANYTHING THAT WAS SEVERELY TRAUMATIC WITH YOUR INNER CHILD UNLESS YOU HAVE HAD PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE WITH THIS AND IT WAS RESOLVED ON SOME LEVEL WITH A THERAPIST AND/OR IN A SUPPORT GROUP. SOME EXAMPLES OF THIS ARE BEING SEXUALLY MOLESTED AS A CHILD OR SERIOUSLY ABUSED IN ANOTHER WAY. IF YOU ATTEMPT TO DO THIS, IT CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING. IF YOU WISH TO DO THIS WITHOUT PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE, I RECOMMEND THAT YOU GO TO A QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST FIRST. REMEMBER, DO NOT PROCEED WITH THIS IF YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE. CONTACT ME IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS OR CONCERNS FIRST. CONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER CHILD ON ANY LEVEL, EVEN A HAPPY MEMORY, CAN TRIGGER PAINFUL MEMORIES AS WELL. THIS CONTEST IS MEANT AS A WRITING SKILL CHALLENGE AND A WAY OF CONNECTING WITH INNER RESOURCES TO DRAW UPON THIS CREATIVITY. IT CAN ALSO BE A VERY HEALING WRITING  PROCESS.

 
I AM ALSO REQUESTING THAT YOU CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES TO COMMENT ON AS PART OF THE CONTEST CRITERIA. PLEASE GIVE SOME DETAILED INPUT AND WHY YOU CHOSE THAT PARTICULAR ONE AND IF IT IS THE STYLE YOU WANT TO USE FOR YOURSELF OR NOT. PLACE YOUR COMMENTS ON THIS PAGE AND BE SURE TO SAY WHICH ONE YOU ARE COMMENTING ON. THANKS AND GOOD LUCK CONNECTING WITH YOUR LITTLE DARLING!
ALSO, YOU MUST BE SURE TO READ THESE ENTIRE INSTRUCTIONS AND THE EXAMPLES BELOW AND COMMENT ON ONE OF THEM BEFORE PROCEEDING!

Hopeful

There was a time
when I felt hopeful
A ray of light
did shine in...
those days were
long ago...
when I was young
there was so much
that I didn't know

Now the days
weigh heavily
upon me...
like a dark blanket
covering me
and it is difficult
to recall the times
when life held promise
of something new

Every once in a while
I peek out from
the black void
that surrounds me
and I think
and I question...
Is that a glimmer
or a spark
that I see?
Dare I believe?

A memory
coming back to me
of childhood dreams?
And I ask that child
what has become
of me...?
She answers...
You are what I see
Be with me-

And we will
be free
and happy
once again
and make Life
new once more
Be my Friend?

Kareneisenlord (c) March 17, 2007

First Dialog With My Inner Child 3/20/07

The first time we spoke, I was nervous and afraid. I wasn't sure what to say.
Would you like me?...Would you accept me? So much has changed...

To my delightful surprise, you told me that you are proud of me.
That we have been through a lot and that I did good despite that.

That was the beginning of our dialogue...


"Do you remember the time our mother first told us about sex, little one?"

"Why did she say it was something that I had to do because it was expected of me?"

"She told us that when you get married that is what a man demands of you."

"It made me feel bad, because I thought that marriage was out of love."

"And you were so right, dearheart...marriage should be based on love.
The way she said it was so dry and cold. It took all of the ideal of love and romance away of it.
Sex should be an expression of love...not something that is taken by force."

"Why did she say it that way? She seemed so sad and angry?

I know, little...Kiki (that was the nickname our mother gave you), our mother had been through so much. She was very hurt."

"Why was she hurt, Kiri?"

"When she was your age, some people hurt her very badly...and she never recovered from that...
It's not your fault. It was never your fault."

"I wish I could have been there to protect her from those bad people."

"Yes, my sweet Kiki...but she lived on, and then one day she had wonderful you!"

"Was she happy to have me?"

"Yes, she was. She loves you very much."

"That day she told me about sex...I felt special- like I knew something that no-one else at my school knew."

"You were young when she told you that. She was doing what she thought was best."

"It made me feel wierd too, like marriage was not out of love...but only had to do with sex. She made me feel like it was a duty."

"I am sorry, dear, sweet Kiki. That was how she felt. Your stepfather made her feel that way too. But you do not have to feel the exact same way that she felt. You are who you are and she is who she is."

"You mean, there is really such a thing as love, when two people get married because they care for each other and want to express their love for one another?"

"Yes, you are right...and sex is an expression of that love. You were always right, my little Kiki.
And I am sorry that was taken away from you. It is not anymore...you can believe in yourself and what you felt. You were so right. Our mother was wrong. Even though she thought she was protecting you, she made you feel bad."

"Here's a poem that I wrote to you..."


Remember?

Do you remember
- little one -
how we played
over the flowers
in our yard
in the sun?
Catching small
butterflies in
the palms
of our hands?

We'd clasp one
for a moment
as it fluttered
from within...
the hollow of
our grasp
tickling our skin...

And then with
great relish
we would release
the fragile creature
and watch it fly
away as we
giggled with laughter

Do you recall
how we played
beneath the
green ferns
in those warm
summer days
their coolness
we yearned?

How we saved
baby birds
from cats
on the prowl
and we
brought home
all the stray
animals that we
found all around?

We would bring
them to Mother
with tears
in our eyes
begging her
"Don't leave
those poor
creatures out
there to die...!"

And she'd
finally give in
to our cries
and our whims
taking in the
lost animals
to be our
family and friends...

Do you remember
the Cacoon
one Spring
that we
brought home
And we
placed it
in a jar
and never
left it alone?

Every day
we watched
over it
Forever...
we nutured it
Until the day
it burst forth
in all of its
colorful
magnificense!

And then...
we lovingly
took the
sweet butterfly
and tenderly-
without asking
why...we
placed her
by the
open window
knowing the
time was near
that she would
have to go...

remember...
my sweet child
all of the wonderful
things that we did
when all of
nature was
our friend
remember
my child within
do you remember
why...
the day when
we had to
say Goodbye?"



The integration is ocurring...while writing this poem I went from ..."you" to "we".

This is something...I am excited and a little nervous. But, I must be brave for Kiki.



THIRD DIALOGUE (SEVEN YEARS OLD) 4/25/07

"I am so lonely.".

"I am here little one..."

"Mommy and daddy are gone. No one is home when am there. The house is dark and empty. Daddy comes home for lunch sometimes, but I am locked out of the house. I feel like I am not there."

"What do you mean, "not there", KiKi?"

"Mommy and Daddy treat me like I am not there!"

"I see what you are saying."

"Daddy is mad at me, and mommy ignores me."

"Was that around the time you had a friend in your dreams?"

"Yes, we would meet in this beautiful jungle where we would play."

"That sounds really fun."

"Once in a while, a dinosaur passes by and we hide until it is gone."

"Is that scary?"

"Yes...the ground shakes when we hear him coming, and we run to hide."

"Where do you hide?"

"In some rocks or a cave."

"And the dinosaur passes by?"

"The dinosaur always just walks past us."

"Then you both come out to play again?"

"Yes, but sometimes when I have to leave my friend, I always tell her that I will be back."

"Where do you go?"

"It's when I wake up to come back to this world, like the time I had to go to the bathroom."

"Tell me about that again."

"I had to go to the bathroom, so I told my friend to wait for me and that I would be right back because my Master has to go to the bathroom."

"You called a part of yourself, Master?"

"Yes..."

"That is really interesting. Then what happened?"

"I woke up and went to the bathroom and came back to bed to go to sleep and there she was waiting for me!"

"That's neat. What kinds of things did you do when you played?"

"We played hide n seek a lot. We would play house in the huge ferns. There was a lot of fruit and things to eat growing on the trees. We would pick them and have picnics together."

"What was her name?"

"I can't remember for sure right now. I keep thinking Heather. She reminds me a lot of the friend that I had when I was four years old."

"Where is she now?"

"I don't know... Her mommy wouldn't let us play anymore because our mommy was divorced. Then we moved away..."

"I am sorry. We will talk about when you were four years old."

"Okay..."

"But now, I want you to know that I am here for you and I always was, and I will always be here for you.
Can I hug you?"

"Yes...I love you."

"I love you too."

kareneisenlord (c) april 25, 2007