Here I am again, holding two contests at once! This is my fifth contest, if you care, and in the spirit of St. Patricks Day, I want Limericks!
Raunchy, dirty, hilarious Limericks.
You know, the way they were meant to be
I don't really like any of my own limericks, so I don't have anything to put here.
By the way, the judging won't happen 'till the day after St. Paddy's day, and you all know why that is.
For the people who don't know what a limerick is, here is what Wikipedia says-
"The rhyme scheme is usually aabba, with a rather rigid meter. The first, second, and fifth lines are three metrical feet; the third and fourth two metrical feet. The foot used is usually the amphibrach, a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones. However it can be considered an anapestic foot, two short syllables and then a long, the reverse of dactyl rhythm. However, many substitutions are common.
The first line traditionally introduces a person and a location, and usually ends with the name of the location, though sometimes with that of the person. A true limerick is supposed to have a kind of twist to it. This may lie in the final line, or it may lie in the way the rhymes are often intentionally tortured, or in both. Though not a strict requirement, the best limericks are usually those that additionally show some form of internal rhyme, often alliteration, sometimes assonance or another form of rhyme."
I won't be that specific, just get the rhyme scheme and flow down and I will be happy.
Happy writing and good luck!
Rules- Just write... properly... Like, no chat speak or stickycaps or any of that garbage. And... Nothing Serious... actually, that is an important one!
NOTHING SERIOUS!!!!!!!
Had to emphasize that. This contest is in honor of the day when people spray paint their hair green, get drunk when they wake up and act like fools. Have fun, people!
Now, For the Prizes!
First- shiny gold trophy and 300 points
Second- pretty silver trophy and maybe points if i feel like it
Third- kinda ugly bronze trophy and maybe points.
H'Okay. I want to shit my pants laughing. I want to have to take constant breaks to stop laughing. Make this fun.
I will comment on all entries and such, and will close it early if I get too many entries (hint hint people, enter tons!)
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
Oh yeah... one more rule
NO GIRLS FROM NANTUCKET!
Screw it, I'll share my anti nantucket limerick
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
You know what, I hate Nantucket, so fuck it!
The girls are always from that place
It makes me want to attack them with mace!
So beware, you dumb girls from Nantucket!
Raunchy, dirty, hilarious Limericks.
You know, the way they were meant to be
I don't really like any of my own limericks, so I don't have anything to put here.
By the way, the judging won't happen 'till the day after St. Paddy's day, and you all know why that is.
For the people who don't know what a limerick is, here is what Wikipedia says-
"The rhyme scheme is usually aabba, with a rather rigid meter. The first, second, and fifth lines are three metrical feet; the third and fourth two metrical feet. The foot used is usually the amphibrach, a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones. However it can be considered an anapestic foot, two short syllables and then a long, the reverse of dactyl rhythm. However, many substitutions are common.
The first line traditionally introduces a person and a location, and usually ends with the name of the location, though sometimes with that of the person. A true limerick is supposed to have a kind of twist to it. This may lie in the final line, or it may lie in the way the rhymes are often intentionally tortured, or in both. Though not a strict requirement, the best limericks are usually those that additionally show some form of internal rhyme, often alliteration, sometimes assonance or another form of rhyme."
I won't be that specific, just get the rhyme scheme and flow down and I will be happy.
Happy writing and good luck!
Rules- Just write... properly... Like, no chat speak or stickycaps or any of that garbage. And... Nothing Serious... actually, that is an important one!
NOTHING SERIOUS!!!!!!!
Had to emphasize that. This contest is in honor of the day when people spray paint their hair green, get drunk when they wake up and act like fools. Have fun, people!
Now, For the Prizes!
First- shiny gold trophy and 300 points
Second- pretty silver trophy and maybe points if i feel like it
Third- kinda ugly bronze trophy and maybe points.
H'Okay. I want to shit my pants laughing. I want to have to take constant breaks to stop laughing. Make this fun.
I will comment on all entries and such, and will close it early if I get too many entries (hint hint people, enter tons!)
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
Oh yeah... one more rule
NO GIRLS FROM NANTUCKET!
Screw it, I'll share my anti nantucket limerick
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
You know what, I hate Nantucket, so fuck it!
The girls are always from that place
It makes me want to attack them with mace!
So beware, you dumb girls from Nantucket!
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on March 19, 2006
- Rewards: Gold: 300
- Final notes: Okay, this was SO hard to judge. Like really, I was laughing my ass off the whole time. And I don't care that I am swearing. This was great, I am so glad I had this contest, and so glad I got all these great entries. It was really hard to choose, and I thank you all profoundly for your entries. I won't be giving HMs because then they would all get one, and I can't afford that. THANK YOU SO MUCH
Entries [11]
1 - 11 of 11
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I walked to the end of the rainbow
To see how far I could go• Commented on by judge. -
There once was this bimbo, fluofontis
Who thought she could sing Pocahontas• Commented on by judge. -
Likes Milkbone too.• Commented on by judge.
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I have now exposed my rear.
I now think my time is near.• Commented on by judge. -
There are too many people in here.
I'm about to give out a tear.• Commented on by judge. -
There once was a poetic boorby Long Road Home 7 lines, 8 comments, on Mar 17 9:40 AM 2006. In Humor• Commented on by judge.
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HAHAHA! Just bored, but it wasn't the greatest. I couldn't get the rhyme in the last line. Ah well...I tried. Have fun w/ your contest!by FollowingFate 6 lines, 5 comments, on Mar 17 12:44 PM 2006. In Humor• Commented on by judge.
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There once was a teacher named elvis,
who swung and danced with his pelvis,• Commented on by judge. -
There was a young cowboy from out on the trail,
who tried many women but he'd always fail.by flyingpenquin 23 lines, 3 comments, on Mar 17 8:36 PM 2006. In Humor• Commented on by judge. -
she'd finish her johns,
and then they would twitch.by flyingpenquin 7 lines, 3 comments, on Mar 17 8:48 PM 2006. In Humor• Commented on by judge.
Bronze trophy winner
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Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This contest has sure started with a bang! Good luck Liz!!!!
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Geez, St Patrick's Day. I should do an Irish one yet.
Two Irish lads playing physician
Were in a quite silly position.
Tied up in elastic;
One Gibbon Fitzpatrick
The other was Patrick Fitzgibbon. -
hehehehehe you have a gift
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I wrote many lymerics in one poem, if taht is not what you wanted I'm sorry
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wow, so many entries! Good luck evryone!
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What a great contest!! I enjoyed coming up with these, have fun with this and you should be really laughing it up with all these entries,
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well, these entries added a bit of a rollicking start to me St. Paddy's day! Thank you kindly.
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Oh no! I accidentally removed my thingum from this. Ah well... Can't re-submit now lol
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they were awesome, and i grew up with limericks. lol i got a book of them in like third grade, and the chapters were like, defecation, masturbation, castration, etc.
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Where did the gold and silver go? Do you remember who won?
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gold went to linda king ct, i believe, and silver to hoodoolover. it may have been the other way around
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