Hello once again, pitiful fools! It is I, the nefarious scourge of the snobiverse, and I have returned to liberally coat your ankles with a glistening, syrupy sheen of molasses-like evil!
I am sure you have all seen the contests that require poems to have six or seven words. Ha! The miserable pond scum that hosted those probably thought the idea was original. Avant garde. Unorthodox. UNPRECEDENTED! But no. No...those ideas were PATHETIC! REPUGNANT!
Me. I am original. In my contest, I allow entries to contain no more than A SINGLE LETTER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Only three of you will escape my clutches! The other 23 of you will be cast down into the FIERY FURNACE! You will burn there forever. Burn, much like marshmallows held too long over a campfire. Ah, and that is the luxury of being evil: there are always unsuspecting imbeciles who will volunteer for eternal agony.
Here are my rules:
1. Poems may contain only ONE letter.
2. No rhyming!
3. No cursing!
4. No StIcKy CaPs!
5. No cutting/suicide/teen angst/erotica!
6. NO plagiarism. I am watching!
7. I will notice if you leave no comments.
Only ?? of you may enter! Do so knowingly! You have been warned.
I am sure you have all seen the contests that require poems to have six or seven words. Ha! The miserable pond scum that hosted those probably thought the idea was original. Avant garde. Unorthodox. UNPRECEDENTED! But no. No...those ideas were PATHETIC! REPUGNANT!
Me. I am original. In my contest, I allow entries to contain no more than A SINGLE LETTER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Only three of you will escape my clutches! The other 23 of you will be cast down into the FIERY FURNACE! You will burn there forever. Burn, much like marshmallows held too long over a campfire. Ah, and that is the luxury of being evil: there are always unsuspecting imbeciles who will volunteer for eternal agony.
Here are my rules:
1. Poems may contain only ONE letter.
2. No rhyming!
3. No cursing!
4. No StIcKy CaPs!
5. No cutting/suicide/teen angst/erotica!
6. NO plagiarism. I am watching!
7. I will notice if you leave no comments.
Only ?? of you may enter! Do so knowingly! You have been warned.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on January 15, 2006
- Rewards: Gold: 300
- Final notes: Whoa, was this >easy< hard to judge! To be honest, I had no idea people would find so many clever interpretations of the contest rules. I saw some things I wasn't expecting at all. The whole contest was just a thought that made me laugh in the first place. Artists will persevere, I suppose.
Anyway, there were a number of good entries.
1st Place M is for Morgan! by J-ay Rose. J-ay Rose wins because she was the cleverest. She put my name in her title, and then linked her poem [snicker] to a picture of my wife's name superimpsed on a heart. Isn't that just the sweetest?
2nd Place One Letter Contest by NoWayJo. NoWayJo gets second because a) her entry was animated, and, perhaps more importantly,Entries [14]
1 - 14 of 14-
ONE LETTER CONTEST• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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I love you. It's that simple.• Commented on by judge.
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no one seems to like v. and they add the harsh caps to this gentle leter, its so majestic of a letter... violinby SithNichole 10 lines, 1 comment, on Jan 12 3:11 PM 2006. In Other• Commented on by judge.
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ecstasyby a gothic romance 131 lines, 2 comments, on Jan 12 7:15 PM 2006. In Love• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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Comments
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A totally out there Idea for a contest , I just had to enter
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You better give me the gold. Why, you ask? Because I'm almost on your level of evil...and I totally procrastinate.
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sounds interesting... can i take a letter and make into like a shape? if not then its ok. good luck judging.. its gonna be a toughy
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NO! FOOL! One letter! One letter!
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This is a very orginal contest but i waas wondering how many times can you use the letter?
Edited on Jan 12, 2:58 p.m. because 'Because I wanted to'. -
lol i <3 this, the rules made me chuckle... "no cutting..." haha... lol love it... u already chosen the letters to win? is it jus about luck lol
can ya enter more than once ? lol...
: v original contest ... x
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Foolish mortal! ONE letter used ONE time! If your letter is good enough, it shouldn't need embellishment.
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Hahaha, I love your sense of humor. You put a smile on my face. I love this contest!!! It's very creative, original and it forces you to think. Makes you wonder why each poet chose the letter they did. Haha, if anyone looked at my other poems they'd know why I chose "L." Gotta love The L-Word ! Well, everyone good luck!
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hi there, i entered usuing a bunch of u's to look like a larger U shape...is that ok?
i only did this cuz i thought it was creative, looks really cool overall, and i saw others who used pictures and such in this same contest.
well, guess i'll find out soon enough!
yours,
Kristina
the slightly kaffinated spazz -
Do you have a letter thought up and whoever uses it wins -- or something?
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WELL! I would NEVER rig a contest! I am SO offended! Harrumph! How could I possibly know which poem will win before I've read them all? Some poems will be uppercase, some lowercase, some with pictures, some with graphics, some italic, some bold, some on the left, some on the right, top, bottom, center...
I will be judging honestly. I would LIKE to think I have earned my stripes as a morally upstanding snob. -
Gosh, already there are 2 "K", "L", "X", and "Y"s!
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What an interesting contest... I hope I didn't enter too late. I noticed how all the trendy letters were snatched right up (especially X) all the cool kids use X.
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Everyone gets their due in the end.
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Wonderfull Idea
JustBe, This is a briliant contest if nothing else it brings out creativity, how can one person take one of the 26 letters of the English language and turn it into a masterpeice. I think that you should be a poetic teacher. wonderfull contest and had a blast thinking of my creative way to write the letter "Y" into a story. -
WTF is this? Are you kidding? A one-letter contest? How is that poetry? Just because you own a piston-rod, does not mean you have a car. A single brick does not make a house. A paintbrush does not make you a painter. So how can a single letter be a poem?
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My friend, you must find your sense of humor. Furthermore, plenty of people call Warhol art.
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Haha, mortal. Flattery will buy you no favor with me. In the end, I will have your soul!
Nah, just kidding. Thanks! A poetry teacher... me, a Physics PhD student. Mama would be so proud... -
Andy Warhol... I can see some talent in his work.
now Jackson Polluck I just don't get. I mean, REALLY! Any chimpanzee can hurl gobs of paint at a canvas. does that make him an artist? I seriously doubt it. -
It's a little-known fact that Pablo Picasso did the same in his latter years. He just didn't like to talk about it.
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I can see why. He was probably going senile.
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I don't get it... there has to be more to this than what is said...
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If you got bashed by a moderator for the rules of your contest, I am wondering why a moderator entered.. Also, you are asking for comments on your own work.. I was asking for comments on the works of others, which is allowed. Good luck with your very interesting contest.
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Huh? I'm not asking for anything. The thing on the contest title is just my appeal for some pub. I changed the rules after I was told about my infraction.
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XD I am so gonna end up DQ'd but I could not resist entering mine...
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You are a nut, my friend. But lo, I cannot enter for this contest has begun judging. Have fun picking the best letter! It will be a rouhg road!
Arielle Giselle -
what a waste of cyberspace. this isn't humour. but, your contest proved one thing judging by the amount of entries, monkey sees monkey does.
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Go jump in a lake.
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kiss my A
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Very inyeresting contest. I have read all of the entries and have come up with two winners of my own
Thanks for dropping by with that IM to me. Now you need to tell me why you believe that
Be Well and Be Blessed
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No I think it actually points out that WE ALL have a sense of humour and are very imaginative and creative!!!
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yes it is hilarious, have you seen the post that uses the letter 'Q'. Oh I couldn't stop laughing.
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Hilarious or not, you clearly find something compelling. Why else would you continue to read the entries and leave comments?
Anyway, what the hell do you care? You're the only one complaining, and you haven't even entered a poem-- er, letter. Unless this website is located on your server, and you're begrudging the disk space it takes up, I suggest you find something more constructive to do with your time.
Oh, I get it now. Just read your work. Since there's no mention of antisemitism, scatalogical sex references, necrophilia, or abuse of circus freaks, you find this contest unstimulating. That ain't my problem, pal. Get your jollies how you want, but leave me the f*k out of it.
Edited on Jan 15, 7:37 because 'Divine inspiration'. -
i didnt read the entries. i just assumed that someone would have used the letter q. and it is very cowardly leaving a comment then editing it so the comment i receive is different to the one you left. at least you read my poems, dickhead ;-)
very rude indeed to come back and edit the comment. oh, and dont call my wife a circus freak, she wasnt a freak exhibit she worked on the arm wrestling stall
Edited on Jan 15, 8:26 because 'see above'. -
I'll always remember this silver Just...and I'll never even wonder "Y" I do either! thank you so very much, and CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE WINNERS!
Jo -
Fun contest! Thank you for the honorable mention♥♥♥...Lynda
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XD! dayum.. outshone because I rhymed.. I sped read and didn't see that bit *laughs* I was so proud of myself for making it rhyme despite the bloody numbers tooo.. nah seriously I was half expecting to get DQ'd anyway *laughs* Thanks for the mention though.. and I'm glad I was able to make you laugh albeit for the wrong reasons
Reb.
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Silver trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
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