Ok, for the most part some people know that I’ve played with the dead for four consecutive semesters (get your mind out of the gutter). Anyway, my senses are a little dull and I find it necessary to regain some of my feminine traits (I need a boyfriend actually). I mean, what can be worse than showing a guy the difference between the right and left testicle on a cadaver? Right?
Whoever can irk me the most wins.
Specifics:
1. I want details. Lots of ‘em.
2. I do not encourage haiku or cinquains.
3. Absolutely NO generalizations, esp. in politics, society, war etc.
4. No crappy backgrounds/hard to see text. I will disqualify you.
5. Cutting does not fit here unless you are describing a type of algophobia.
6. Stay away from clichés e.g. roaches and rats.
7. Stick to real life. None of that dragons and monsters under my bed.
8. I enjoy free verse more than rhyme but it will not affect my judgment.
9. Remember, details.
10. Break any of these guidelines if you think you can overwhelm me.
Ideas:
(but if you can come up with something more original it will earn my favor.)
• The sound your grandma’s dentures make
• Severe blister etc.
• A sexual experience gone wrong (“It smelled like fish!”)
• How and why you hate the way Aunt Johanna ____.
• Your worst hangover
• How a disliked genre makes you "feel"
• Weather or atmosphere e.g. humidity
• Worst moment with a child e.g. tantrum, baby sitting
• War/battle related injury or condition (mental or physical)
• Urine e.g. toilet seat up, the stench etc.
• How people lick their fingers and turn the page
The Golden Rule:
You must comment on at least one of my poems with HONESTY. Kiss my ass and I will tell you goodbye. Applauds not necessary. Just mention the poem in your Author Notes and the concept of your own entry.
1st place: Gold & 300
2nd place: Silver & 150
3rd place: Bronze & 75
I awarded honorable mentions in the past, make them good and I might do it again.
Now irk me.
Whoever can irk me the most wins.
Specifics:
1. I want details. Lots of ‘em.
2. I do not encourage haiku or cinquains.
3. Absolutely NO generalizations, esp. in politics, society, war etc.
4. No crappy backgrounds/hard to see text. I will disqualify you.
5. Cutting does not fit here unless you are describing a type of algophobia.
6. Stay away from clichés e.g. roaches and rats.
7. Stick to real life. None of that dragons and monsters under my bed.
8. I enjoy free verse more than rhyme but it will not affect my judgment.
9. Remember, details.
10. Break any of these guidelines if you think you can overwhelm me.
Ideas:
(but if you can come up with something more original it will earn my favor.)
• The sound your grandma’s dentures make
• Severe blister etc.
• A sexual experience gone wrong (“It smelled like fish!”)
• How and why you hate the way Aunt Johanna ____.
• Your worst hangover
• How a disliked genre makes you "feel"
• Weather or atmosphere e.g. humidity
• Worst moment with a child e.g. tantrum, baby sitting
• War/battle related injury or condition (mental or physical)
• Urine e.g. toilet seat up, the stench etc.
• How people lick their fingers and turn the page
The Golden Rule:
You must comment on at least one of my poems with HONESTY. Kiss my ass and I will tell you goodbye. Applauds not necessary. Just mention the poem in your Author Notes and the concept of your own entry.
1st place: Gold & 300
2nd place: Silver & 150
3rd place: Bronze & 75
I awarded honorable mentions in the past, make them good and I might do it again.
Now irk me.
Contest is Over
- Contest was judged on June 16, 2005
- Rewards: Gold: 300
- Final notes: This was extremely hard to judge, I think most everyone really put in a great effort to write what they did and I commend you all for that.
1st place – Abhorred by Pisces Pond (for reminding me of what it's like to be ejaculated on during a hot and sticky bus ride through Cairo, fuck you …)
2nd place – The Morning After the Night Before by masterblaster (reminding my not only why I don’t drink but why not have friends who get used to my habits to begin with, erg!)
3rd place – Long John’s Distress by Fzkl (as a woman with… big tits I know what it feels like to be exploited so reading this brings the circle to a close)
Entries [7]
1 - 7 of 7
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I once knew someone who found a naked dog in Mexico on vacation,
They decided it would make a great pet and decided to take it home,by angelodragon13 51 lines, 7 comments, on May 26 8:38 PM 2005. In Weird• Commented on by judge. -
I can't really describe the sounds
That my great grandmother makes with her teeth• Commented on by judge. -
Of course you should change that line,
It does have something missing,• Commented on by judge. -
• Commented on by judge.
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• Commented on by judge.
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Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,
Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels,• Commented on by judge. -
Snap click pop, snap pop click
that is all I hear when your chewing• Commented on by judge.
Gold trophy winner
Bronze trophy winner
Add a comment
Comments
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love the attitude, i may have to consider writing something (although not now, i'm in the middle of history)
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testicles,huh?that can intimidate the whole race of adam!the boyfriends may not like that.hahaha.would love to irk you and die in the attempt!Hah!will see if i have it in me.have an irksome time,master imokon of menstruosity.
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heehee
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greatttttttttttttttttt
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o...i irked alot of ppl with one of my poems...so it got deleted owell
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I'm open to anything and it's my contest to judge.
Just put a disclaimer line above the poem and it shouldn't be a problem. -
what exactly is "irk me"? oh well this seems like a very...interesting contest. seriously...i'll have fun with this one if i get around to entering
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irk (ûrk) verb, transitive
irked, irking, irks
To be irritating, wearisome, or vexing to. See synonyms at annoy. -
This contest seems strangely sexy. Oh, it's just me spewing hormones everywhere. Tra-la-la-la. OOOH! *checks your gender* Hmm... *grins*...
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Hi, this facinates me, I have never let my hair down enough up to now on ap, always frightfully british, but lately I am feeling bunny it all break out of your cage girl, will give this a thought and see what I can do, if I dont chicken out you will see my post,could be a lot of fun. Di
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I'd be honored, do join.
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Interesting contest. I'm afraid I could never quite write something like this though
Good luck judging
~Sarah -
I am tempted...almost...
I might be....eh
It would be fun
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Yay!
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very interesting contest. I will have to see what I come up with before I enter but I am sure I can think of something that irks you. Well, maybe it will gross you out but that's okay to!!!
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I wish you allowed pre-writes here. Please see my poem "Her Voice". I think it was intuitively pre-written, knowing that you would have this contest. Perhaps you'll make an exception?
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While some women might be irritated by such a notion (of being ignored as in 'Her Voice' I guess I'm just not one of them. It is a very well written piece but I can't guaruntee it'll win. Besides, you already have it for a contest, the site won't let you submit a poem to more than one.
You're welcome to try something new. -
Interesting contest. o.o
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i like this idea
i shall try to make one of my own "irking" poems 
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I think its really cool how you came up with the idea to put this on so everyone could see it
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looks interesting just to read the poems ppl come up with haha...i love the sex one made me laugh...lol good luck to everyone, and a really original contest!!
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I am no good at all with gore...but I wish you the best in this.
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The opening poem to start out this contest interests you and lures you into entering the contest. But then, how to irk a person, it is something I wish not to do. So I wish you the best, and good luck on deciding the winner of the contest! Good luck to everybody!
-Ari
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Oh. This is a contest. Sounds like a lot of fun. I'll come back and look at it later, but writing about grandma's dentures or urine...that will take me some time and some serious inspiration. Good luck, though. Write on. ~*~SpydurPoet~*~
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gooooooood.you've extended.i'm working on aunt johanna...hehe
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I'm keeping this open for some time, my friend is on vacation and she will slaughter me if I close it before she comes back. Besides, no point in a contest with few entries. I'm especially looking forward for a poem by you.
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Oh ya i would have slaughtered ya!!!
Will enter asap.
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what can be worse than showing a guy the difference between the right and left testicle on a cadaver? Right?
oh I'm betting there can be worse, but that is priceless. ..
I like your ideas .. of course my irks are all quite boring.. I hate it when you tell someone.. the word they are using is not a word, but they continue to use it anyways.. I don't know why but that one drives me nuts..
¤´¨)
¸.·´ ´´ ·¨)
(¸.·´(¸.·¤hims/Lisa
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great idea
this is a very good idea for a contest, as there is so much bad 7 cliched poetry on this site. i agree with you that details are what makes a poem sing...
however you do not like haiku so i will not enter.
PS the plural for haiku is haiku, not haikus.
i hope this contest goes well,
myron. -
Actually, that's a good one. I really had an issue when I commented on a small grammar mistake in a poem recently. The person insisted it was their 'style'. And people believe it and side by it. I believe in playing favorites, because humans are stupid that way see... but to realize it is a different issue altogether.
I like that 'dubbya' by the way Ms. Sith.
Awesome signature. -
You misread the guidelines. It's no grounds to base that I dislike haiku. If you think you can pull it off with few words your more than welcome to try.
And thank you for your observation. -
How many entries per person??
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Doesn't matter.
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LOL -- I discovered this contest today when I was reading and commenting on one of the entries. I must commend you Imokon. The contest description you provide itself is a gem. LOL. I will have to give this baby an extra look
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what "irks" me the most is the word "irk". my ex used to use it all the time. lol. i don't think i could write a whole poem on that so i'll just leave this instead of a poem. sorry. good luck with the contest.
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well let's see if I can come up with something for this contest...I don't have a lot of these under my belt, but I guess need to start somewhere, only think it will help me better my writing....I think I should be able to come up with an "irk", just need to decide on the many I have in my hat to pull from....will give it my best shot.
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Hi, thanks a million for the silver , big big hug Di, let's go and get blasted, lol
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PS, points as well, double reason for you and I to go out and get blasted,lol, thanks hugs Di
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Thanks for the points. it was really hard for me to write so I didn't really expect anything. So thanks again.
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damn,i really wanted to enter this.wasn't able to log on for weeks!my aunt johanna poem would have to be dedicated to you instead.hehe.hope you read it when i finally post it.glad you had fun with this.
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I was wondering where you went, it's been a long time though.
I promise I'll still comment ; )
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