\This is another one of those writes where if you have no sense of humor STOP HERE Trust me , listen to me.. You won't like it, and do me and yourself the favor.. Go on.. Git..
Okay so here I am hunched over in front of this computer all beat up and red. Swollen, and stinging .. Why you might ask?
Oh let me tell ya.. Tweezing my darn brows..
Now you men might laugh and think that's nothing but buddy, you ever catch your eyelid with them thangs and you will sing a different tune.
I am still looking like the Hunchback one eye all closed up and bleeding and twitching. Yep twitching..
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Men could care less if they have the whole uni-brow going on,
and in fact some of them even name it ( don't lie guys you know you do ) .
Some rare occasions you get those men (who wax and pluck) and props to em, cause they know what I am talking about.
So I have that one hair that I can never get out? And in the process of trying to get it, make the rest of my face all inflamed?
OMG! I am losing it here.
Now some of you ladies out there are screaming at the screen WAX GIRL WAX! NO WAY NOTTA AINT HAPPENING.
Wanna know why? Oh ya leave it to me to screw that up too ( I could fck up a wet dream) .
My sister-in-law has beautiful brows and we are visiting Texas one time and I say Oh Val I love em, and she grabs me up and off we go to her beauty parlor so fast my head was spinning.
We get there and they apply that hot wax (which hey ever kinky I kinda liked) and then RIPPPPPP .. Oh good god I would rather give birth than go through that again. Seriously..
Now the brows looked great, but they stayed red and burning and burning, Val said put ice on it so I did. I woke up the next morning with two of the biggest scabs you have ever seen on my lids.
Now I am not a vain, vain person but I liked my face somewhat normal, but scabs? I freaked out, for about a month I hid out and went nowhere..
Why do we do this to ourselves?
She say's as she grabs up the mirror (which is blinding and probably burning her retina's ) and tweezers...
\True so freaking true ha ha..
What am I thinking now??
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1 - 19 of 19
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LMMFAO! I so know what you mean. If I don't pluck my eyebrows they will completely grow over ym eye lids.I can't pluck though because my roots are too curly damn curly hair. So I put up with the wax and then the RIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP. Lol my only burns for a little while I guess i have built up a tolerance to it. Why do we subject ourselves to it? Because we have to. Men can go around with their eyebrows looking like shit but if ours fo oh my god we are the lockness monster.Lol
Heath -
Ouchiee.... Girl that is one thing I really do hate doing is plucking my damn eyebrows... But if I don;t I swear I look like a damn gorilla.
and I have tried the wax thing b4 but I got the damn thing tooo hot and I burned the heck outta my skin... I was blotchy red for 4 days and what really sux about it was that my Wedding was the next day hahahaha so I had extra makeup on to hide it lol....
Jenn
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Lol, this is such a funny column which I liked a lot and which is true for lots of women
Good write, I liked the way you wrote about it- I don't personally shave/wax/whatever because I don't think I'm hairy (if a woman was hairy it wouldn't hurt for her to shave. She'd look like a man, therefore having hair that big) and it hurts. But I see how it can be important if you're that kind of person
Good write, good use of irony at the end Keep writing because this was really funny and true
All the best,
Pozo
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OMG , I think I will have to go change my undies....I have not laughed this hard in ages. I got a visual of you sitting there ,and also one of the scabs after the waxing ( absolutely hysterical)
Mucho amore , my sweet Freckles
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Reenie
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you always make me laugh i just love the way you take all the beauty crap us old hags have to go through and put it so nicely but here are a few more of those old age secerts i have if you have sensetive skin and want to wax use a cream wax not honey test the heat of it like a baby bottel put it on in the derection the hair grows rub and rub till it's cooler then rip of aginst the growth and quick apply peasure to clam the nevres for the week ones i would tweeze but do it daily so there is not that much to do also use "witch hazel" (you can find it anywhere they sell beauty stuff usally by face toners)during and after it clams the nerves and gets rid of the red (it also works great on bug bites and all kinds of other things)keep it up at this rate they will know everything we do and then we wont have to do it wouldn't that be nice we could all just be ugly hags thank you for the great reading
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LOL! Oh that was so true! I'm so glad I stopped torturing mysel like that! Jeez! That was a good laugh.
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Isn't this so true...I especially related to the description of the one tiny little hair that refuses to be plucked. This was a great read, nice job.
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Cute! I always love your writes... always something quite interesting to read, thanks for sharing!
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LOL CAT!!! This was great sweets. So true yes it is so true. I have never gotten mine waxed but I am going to have to for the first time so I can have them shaped. It is so weird my eyebrows grow differently so I am going to have to get them shaped and thats gonna suck!!!! But oh well it has to be done. This is a great piece Cat I needed a good laugh!
Much luvs always-Crys
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I would say a uni-brow would be worth the effort. I mean who wants to look like Ernie on Sesame Street. Or was that Burt? I have a solution, somewhat drastic, but a solution nevertheless. The motivation behind it was taught to me by a cheap landlord we had when we rented our first apartment. When I told him the couch in this furnished apartment had a bad arm on one end, instead of fixing it he tore both arms off. With this in mind a uni-brow might be made attractive if the person was willing to get the plastic surgery needed to accomodate one centrally placed eye. Overkill I agree, but these days it might be possible.
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LMAO! Can I get an AWOMEN in the house???
Oh Lord and Lady, that had me ROLLING! Mostly because I was right there with you last night...staring into a water-stained mirror and doing the most HORRIBLE facial grimacing known to womankind...lol. And yeah, doesn't it SUCK that even with waxing, you know that in the back of your head that you have to go back there in about another three weeks or you'll risk looking like some really heavily drunken brigard from some really bad romance novel?? lol Oh yeah...now next time I do this, I'll think of this and hopefully, I'll be able to grin through my tears! LOL
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hahah Cat that is soo ture! I absolutely HATE plucking my eyebrows! I try to hold off on plucking them for as long as I can or untill they get bad and one of my friends tells me i really need to pluck them hah. I hate the pain LOL. You should see them right now...I feel like i just plucked them and got them perfect and what do ya know..they are back again! grr! Its so annoying. Most of my friends like pluck theirs everyday! I am just way too lazy and hate the pain hahaha. I've gotten mine wazed and let me tell ya i thought it was soo much easier then sitting there and trying to pluck ever single hair. I just dont have the money to keep getting them waxed all the time haha. Anyways, this was hilarious and i know most every female can relate to this..oh especially the part about trying to get that ONE STUPID HAIR!! How annoying!!
love ya lots!!
xoxo~Meag -
LoL So true... stupidity runs our mind when it comes to trying to looking good. We put ourselves thru hell and back again and for what? Pain and beauty.... lol One in the same??? Tweezers should die a horrible death, but yet I still need/use em! lol Thanks for the laughs! ~CD
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so funny. lmao
loved it...great write.
XD
Flame
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LOL That was amazing. So perfect. XD
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mmm eyebrows ~ i am lucky that mine were quite tame til recently and my daughter commented they needed shaping ~ I am a blind ol' bat so she plucked em for me cos i cant see to do it without my specs and with them on i cant get at em! and it was worse than torture lol! now i think can i endure it again ~ and say nope not til she's home and make another cutting comment about letting myself go in my old age!
this was so funny and so true!
you excel at social commentary hun ~ when's the book out?
take care of those brows
elaine
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haha thats so true, everyone does it. its not vanity its something entirely different. that stupid one hair that wont ever come out
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Quirky
Lol, try holding a piece of ice over the eye brow before plucking and as soon as it thaws out apply again, that way if you get pinched it wont hurt half as much or....visit the hypnotist and get him to relax you so that you wont even feel it , failing that, be like Boris woodruff .....hehehehe
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LOLOLOLOL!!! This was great. Poor people with no sense of humour. Tweezing eyebrows. X4! Lol. Good laugh.
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