Cutting. Or self-mutilation as some like to think of it.
And today I came upon two young girls Author Pages while I was doing some work on here. And what I found was frightening to say the least. They were actively encouraging one another on how to "cut" and different ways to do it.
I sat stunned and in shock and then I got angry.
And as a woman who actually cares about the people she runs across on this website, I decided to educate myself and anyone who should run across this write. That said here I begin.
What is self-injury?
It's called many things -- self-inflicted violence, self-injury, self-harm, para suicide, delicate cutting, self-abuse, self-mutilation .
Speaking to a group at whole, self-injury is the act of attempting to alter a mood state by inflicting physical harm serious enough to cause tissue damage to ones body.
Approximately 1% of the United States population uses physical self-injury as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings or situations, often using it to speak when no words will come. (though I want to argue those statistics, because of Allpoetry, if we are to believe it, it would seem a average of around 57% of you Teens Cut) I should add that stat is a guesstimate..
What is self-injurious behavior?
The forms and severity of self-injury can vary, although the most commonly seen behavior is cutting, burning, and head-banging.
Carving, Biting, Bruising, Hitting, Scratching, Marking, Burning/Abrasions, Picking and Pulling at Your Skin and Hair Pulling at a simple scab repeatedly so it won't heal even..
It's not self-injury if the primary purpose is: Sexual Gratification, Body Decoration (e.g., Body Piercing, Tattooing) Spiritual Enlightenment via Ritual, and or Trying to fit in or Being Cool. Believe it or not that is actually what they tell people. That was a common statement I read on numerous pages on the net
Why does self-injury make some people feel better?
It reduces tension levels rapidly. From a low to instant high feeling.
When people who self-injure get emotionally overwhelmed, an act of self-harm brings their levels of tension and arousal back to a bearable state almost immediately. In other words, they feel a strong uncomfortable emotion, don't know how to handle it (indeed, often do not have a name for it), and know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional discomfort extremely quickly. They may still feel bad (or not), but they don't have that panicky jittery trapped feeling; it's a calm more mellow feeling.
Some people never get a chance to learn how to cope effectively.
One factor common to most people who do cut, whether they were abused or not, is they don't feel validated. They were taught at any early age that their interpretations of and feelings about the things around them were bad and wrong. They learned that certain feelings weren't allowed. In abusive homes, they may have been severely punished for expressing certain thoughts and feelings. At the same time, they had no good role models for coping. You can't learn to cope effectively with stress unless you grow up around people who are coping effectively with distress. Although a history of abuse is common about self-injurers, not everyone who self-injures was abused. Sometimes a lack of role models for coping are enough, especially if the person's brain has already primed them for choosing this sort of coping.
Problems with neurotransmitters may play a role.
Just as it's suspected that the way the brain uses serotonin may play a role in depression, so scientists think that problems in the serotonin system may predispose some people to self-injury by making them tend to be more aggressive and impulsive than most people. This tendency towards aggression (rage and anger), and someone thinking their feelings are bad or wrong, can lead to the aggression being turned on the self. Once this happens, the person hurting himself learns that self-injury reduces his level of Stress, and the cycle begins. Some researchers theorize that a desire to release endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, is involved. There actual studies being done to prove this right now..
Aren't people who would deliberately cut or burn themselves crazy or nuts?
No more than people who drown their sorrows in a bottle of vodka are. It's a coping thing, just not one that's as understandable to most people or as accepted by society as alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, anorexia and bulimia, workaholics, smoking cigarettes, and other forms avoiding the issue real issues at hand.
Can anything be done for people who hurt themselves?
Yes. Several websites offer self-help ideas. Many new therapeutic approaches have been and are being developed to help self-harmer's learn new coping mechanisms and teach them how to start using those techniques instead of self-injury. Also, research into medications that stabilize mood, ease depression, and calm anxiety is being done; some of these drugs may help reduce the urge to self-harm.
Any attempts to stop or control the amount of self-harm a person does should be based on that person's wanting to stop the difficult work of controlling and/or stopping self-injury. Treatment should not be based on a practitioner's personal feelings about the practice of self-harm. Another statement I ran into over and over..
1. You need to seek treatment, not just for the damage your causing your body but, the emotional reasons behind cutting are what can lead to long term damage. Most of the things I have read today scared me worse than your poems. Please understand, I am not finger pointing here and saying look beware, I am saying with open arms, PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE..
2. A school guidance counselor or a church pastor, priest, someone that you feel close enough to , yes even your parents. All I kept thinking was what if this was one of my Daughters, what would I say to her? There are Teen help lines both 800 numbers and in the UK. And should any of you who read this decide you would like them , please feel free to IM ME I will keep it quiet and private and gladly share websites and phone numbers for help.
3. This isn't the same as Depression, though it can lead to it.
What I found about Depression is this:
Depression can be difficult to diagnose in teens because adults may expect teens to act moody. Also, adolescents do not always understand or express their feelings very well. They may not be aware of the symptoms of depression and may not seek help. Basically what kid doesn't have mood swings? Who isn't depressed? Pick one person anymore and they are..
These symptoms may indicate depression, particularly when they last for more than two weeks:
Poor performance in school
Withdrawal from friends and activities
Sadness and hopelessness
Lack of enthusiasm, energy or motivation
Anger and rage
Overreaction to criticism
Feelings of being unable to make everyone happy
Poor self-esteem or guilt
Indecision, lack of concentration or forgetfulness
Restlessness and anger
Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
Substance abuse
Problems with authority
Suicidal thoughts or actions
You know (this is my attempt to insert some humor here) this describes me. And I will go out on a limb here and tell you this, I have battled Depression since I had a setback in my health in 2002.
And I am on medication for it, I haven't told many people, not because I believe there is a stigma, but because I don't want to be considered one of those "whiny people". There is no harm in admitting when you need
. Sometimes it is honestly a lack of hormones in your body and one simple pill, will make all the difference. Suffering in Silence ~ Almost 90% of self-injurers say they are discouraged from expressing emotions. Almost 50% report past physical or sexual abuse. Remember if you need help .. Someone or something is out there for you.. You are not ALONE*
~Advice on how to help a friend or family member~
Don't say or do things to cause the person to feel shame or guilt. Self-injury is their way of coping, not something sick, or any of the other stereotypes about it. DON'T JUDGE!!
Let the person know that you love them and care about them. Don't openly show how you feel about their self-injury, or say things to embarrass them about it, or so on. Instead, tell them that you hope they will be able to find other ways to cope, and that you can't understand their desire to self-injure, but that you understand that it is their way with dealing with any of various things.
Don't start every conversation with "um so have you cut yourself lately? " Just let them know you are there should they want to talk about this, and you are open minded no matter how much it hurts you. This isn't about YOU.. Remember that, and don't say "how could you do this to our family?" All that is doing is laying more guilt and pain on what could be a literal open wound.
Don't be a Teenager's second skin, in other words "give them room to breath" most kids already feel watched and after something like this, your over protection could be the downfall.
Should they come to you with a wound, help them treat it, don't get angry or become impatient. That too leads to more guilt.
I know this seems like a lot of DON'TS, but I promise I have read 15 websites and they all say the same thing.
Don't change how you act towards a friend of family member who cuts. You know like whispering about them and then conversation completely stops when he/she walks into the room? Also don't go into dramatics by announcing to everyone you and the teen know that he/she is a cutter. Most of the time they are very very private people and this will only increase their need for withdrawal. And only manage to push you away further..
And lastly just be a Friend, when they cry listen, be a shoulder should they need it. A lot of troubles ease when you have an answer to "the cry in the darkness of the night" .
~Due to the kindness of Topaz135 who sent me 150 points, Well I have been featured more in the last two days and I feel it is only respectful and proper of me to tell them all THANK YOU,
Nogenreneeded
StarHarbor
Absinthe
and Mark Rickerby
if you featured this and I don't have your name Please let me know so that I can Thank You as well..Cat
\More notes.. So many of you have read this. Does it fit someone you know or you? If you want to share anything please FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME\
These are some websites you might find to be of some help..
teenadvice.about.com/od/cuttingbranding/ a link to all the links about cutting for teens advice, web boards, stories from other cutters and how they got help..
www.scu.edu/wellness/cutting-selfinjury.cfm what to look for, advice for Parents from Santa Clara University..
parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/cutting.html web board where parents discuss cutting and advice for each other..
parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/cutting.html a website geared toward younger children, scary thing is yes some do cut.. what to do if they see a friend, that harms themselves..
PLEASE IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR WOULD JUST LIKE TO TALK IM ME, ALL BE SAFE, Catressa
Adding your comment:
x patientgrace x
) but the fact remains, I never turned to self-mutilation and suicidal thoughts to 'fix' myself. I don't think the answer lies in the outlets chosen by the perpetraters of this 'cutting'. I think the answer lies in themselves, and in our society as a whole. There is an underlying anger and frustration taken out on some of these 'cutters' by people (admittedly) like myself. I turn my emotions to a darkly humerous bent, but even that can be inappropriate. I just don't know the answers...but this posting was greatly appreciated.
