as I wander home in tears, thinking of the end,
I come across a sight, a sight seemed heaven sent,
to some it would appear, death an ugly fate,
I walk along the dock, to stop and think of late,
I gaze upon the creature, so beautiful in death,
thinking of my love, the one I have not met,
I see not ugliness, not horrible tortured death,
I see myself or "her", our wings accross our breasts,
holding our hearts so, the loneliness it seems,
pass forever on, escape this anguishing,
I see the sad born creature, eyes now plucked out from its head,
feathers scattered bout',so peaceful, lying dead,
I capture this sadborn moment, path to my heart is paved,
knowing soon I will, find the one for whom my heart so craves,
she will gaze upon the beauty,
see all the same borne thoughts,
beauty in the sadness,in heartfelt sincerity,
as she wonders deep within,this wretched waning creature,
seeing in herself, a loveborn likeness feature,
I know deep in my heart,
in this death ,
he fell in love with me,I hope this person, is touched, to know this is true,
this photo, it is my inspiration, for love, love found in a time wishing for death.
as I wander home in tears, thinking of the end,
I come accross a sight, a sight seemed heaven sent,
I come accross a sight, a sight seemed heaven sent,
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1 - 35 of 35
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lol, too funny! you didn't ask for a critical review so I'll just say this.
the bird is dead. it's not thinking anything at all. it's not wnodering what you are thinking nor is it holding a damn thing!
it is dead. it is decomposing. it is rotting. it is reverting to it's basic elements
get over it.
Edited on Jun 12, 9:27 because ''. -
wow this is a poem I like. I understand how ya came up with this one dear brother, lovely write. I only wish for you the same happiness I have found, to love and be loved and with hope all around.
little sis ronnie
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don't touch it!
Joe, this is ssooo sad. I hope your life isn't the way it used to be, I hope your life isn't full of pain and aching! You know Im always here for you
I love you so much
Lee -
don't touch it!
ah joe...had to come comment on this one
you are always finding beauty in just about everything huh???
this was truly beautiful yet it was hopeful and of course it had your sadness to it
the pictures does give this more intensity but it is really your words that say it all...with or without the pic
very beautiful Joe...you keep looking for the beauty in what others would consider ugly...
hugs~~D -
neutral
very well done :) i think death is like sleep. the most horrible/beautiful thing, will seem so content and gentle in death or sleep. i would guess that is our true selves then. you really worded this in a unique way, twisting it to perfection. really enjoyed. take care :) -
excellent
A really powerful piece which brings together the ugly with the beautiful with some very original and special language. The picture is disturbing but compelling at the same time, much like your words! Well done, this is excellent work! -
excellent
Joe...
I have only read a few of your poems I believe. Commenting on one or two. I saw this poem being promoted and was intrigued by the title. I try to comment on as many poems as possible, so first of all I apologise for not getting to yours sooner.
Okay......the poem.....
One word seems to fit it the best........BREATHTAKING.
The picture behind the poem helps you get the feelings which you are evoking with the words. It is a very sad poem to read, but I still get a sense of hope from it. Its like you were equating the death of this bird to love.
Beautiful.
~Lisa~
Edited by lostsoulpoet on right now because 'cannot spell *frowns*'. -
don't touch it!
eeeeeeeeepp Joe this pic made me push my food away, ergh i hate seeing dead birds n foxes on the motorway...and the beloved badgers muhhhhh!! :'( ... ahem, but reading your words, it just kinda made things hopeful...it was a weird poem, but good weird, which makes it damn fine and ok :D
wooooooo
VicXx -
excellent
Ah, Joe! Such a treasure, even in sadness, you find the hope, the light, even in longing, and I pray she comes to you soon, because you have such an exquisite heart, beautiful depth and insight, and right now . . . well, she's the one on the losing end. This is so captivating. Eyes a bit watery--best go! *Hugs* and my best to you on this journey.;)--Kelly -
thank you very very much angela,
this is but a day in my mind,
I thank you for bing here to read, and to comment,
hugs to yan, and a brush if my finger under your eye,
wipe that tear away,
sincerely
joe -
excellent
The last line got me Joe...a single tear from my eye for you. Such brilliant conception in your word choice and the picture brings up so many emotions. Gret write. :) -
thankyou very much chris, this is my own favorite, I thought it was a very good expression, both visually, and verbally of my thoughts, your comments on this mean a very muchlots to me,
joe -
neutral
this is a really great photo. and for some reason, i don't see death either. we, as people, spend our whole lives trying to escape death, and when it comes it is such a tragedy. but birds, for exmple, just fly. when they die, te world continues. my point is they don't care about death... they just live. i wish life would be so simple for us.
i really like this poem too. it's very ::insert word i am thinking of here::... lol.. sorry. my brain can only be so creative, and i've used it up. lol. good write though.
rock on joe.
kris -
Leah,
thank you so much, you manage to just say the right things, don't worry in these comments, itis inevitable after hundreds and hundreds, that you will repeat yourself, or say something wice, at least lol, your comment is heartfelt, and I am glad this really touched you, and I would like to reciprocate that conclusion to your comment, thank you for so readily offering your kindness,
heck you sould just go to writing beautiful comments lol, you just sound like the biggest sweetheart,
you sound like a simply AMAZING HEART,
sincerely,
joe -
don't touch it!
Joe, this is ssssoooooo sad hun!!! I so much hope thing's are ok!!! It's an absoultly AMAINZG piece Joe!!! You have a brilliant talent (God, I neverknow what to say in these comments) ;-) Nut Joe, if you ever need to talk, or want to talk, I am always here for you!!!!! And you will find the unknown person you seek hun!!! All my love, Me ;-) -
ahhh you see claires sweet story in the comments?
I wanted to cry from her comment, I picked this as my best poem,I was not sure, but Iloved this picture, a long story, and it was all true as to fruition of this poem, it lived in my head for over a week before I wrote it lol,
I am glad you liked this, and it moved you, especially the picture, see my home page, if you like pictures, access to my yahoo briefcase, got 200 or 30 pictures in there of different types, anyway, I am glad to be hearing you are looking a bit at me, and past my nastiness, it tells much of who you are, I am sure you are a wonderful person. becoming more and more so, as I correspond with you,
warm smiles at ya,
joe -
don't touch it!
This brings out so many emotions, well in me anyway! The picture goes so well with the poem. Another great write, Joe! Purple xxx -
liya, you have a huge heart, I can't help but to see it so plainly in your comments, again, no novel, no long unending monologue, just sweet and simple words,,
so much meaning,
I hope you continue coming by, reading all your comments tonight, 'really' made me feel good,
:),
joe -
don't touch it!
Joe, pls pls pls don't be so sad. it hurts
i can relate.. -
neutral
okay. interesting... -
don't touch it!
Reading the comments above we aren't heartless just because not everything stirs us to sadness..tis life Joe..life is for living..if something dies then sometimes it's sad..but life goes on..i have no feelings for the dead bird..heck it might have been past it's sell by date anyway..but your words are lovely..she will know one day and feel the same..whoever she may be!!
Barbsxx -
claire:):):)
alll I can really think of now, you just make me :):):),
I so look forward to hearing from you, you always bring a smile and a little ache to my heart:)
((hugs)) to ya:)
joe -
citrus,
I haben't seen a lot of ya, but thank you, thank you for your kind wishes, and comments, i am so trying to follow your advice, but i don't want to appear heartless and uncaring, that happy medium is a difficult place t find, but i will keep tryin,
muchos gracias,
joe -
pixie,
thanks????
just a wonderin now, hmmm,
well it must of been nice, I got a don't touch it:)
joe -
rain,
how do you say things like that, I can hear the words, very few, so full of heart,
((hugs back:):)
joe -
thank you shelly,
:) hugs to ya:) -
excellent
I am so glad that you posted this one...it is very good. You look at something sad and write so beautifully:)
*hugs*
~Rain~ -
neutral
good job Joe glad you did it Bye -
don't touch it!
I found this baby bird in the garden once and i was holding it tight for 2 hours and talking to him, and feeding it worms and stuff, and its wing was broken and I felt like it was crying. I was trying so hard with it and I knew it was going 2 die, I just wanted to make it die that little bit happier but Mum freaked out on me and made me go and put it down in the park, coz 'it was dirty', I was so angry with her, I just went to the park and waited for another hour until it died. I couldnt believe she was just going to sit there, warm in the house, and let it die on its own with all that pain. She made me feel so sick.
I know people have said how this 'is touching' already... but it is, so I'm saying it again.
hug hug hug hug hug hug hug joe
Claire xxx
(and thankyou so so much for all the comments u left on my poems) -
excellent
a very touching piece Joe, I hope you get all you wish for, but just be patient and let things evolve. Watch that heart of yours dont want her to trip over it and fall. -
don't touch it!
Edited by pixie on right now. -
gozling,
hiya, I am glad this touched you, I hope you don't worry so bad for me it hurts, you seem to be so watching over me, I feel as if you so truly care, and I love that, that I have found a new and dear friend, you too wear a heart of gold, I see how many places you go, I see all the wonderful and thoughful comments you leave for everyone, you are just an incredible person, i don't know how you do this, but you are so genuine, to so many people, I really look so forward to seeing your comments, you make me feel cared for, and well, I don't know who would 'not' like that, you are a sweetheart, young and beautiful heart there you have,
thank you
joe -
don't touch it!
Joe....
this is beautiful, touching, soo emotional and rather tender.
you wear your heart on your sleeve joe... i hope you dont bump into a door... the sting .... love and light joe and may all your dreams and wishes be found-- loved the background!!!! -
thank you nell, I so hope so also, I don't think she is ready, but that matters not to me, when are any of us 'ready' for love,
I hope , I wish, I want, I am so selfish, but out of my selfish desires, comes,???
Aren't we all selfish, in our own way?
thank you,
and strangely enough,
I miss this person,
especially since I myself think I may know who they are,
joe -
don't touch it!
wow umm a sad yet hopeful piece, im sure whoever this is for will be touched! an amazing write
Edited by nell on right now.
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