I'm warning you, this might trigger an urge for self injury...hopefully not...this is only intended to help.
There are ALOT of people who use self injury or mutilation as a type of relief from any type of stress or problem that comes in their way...This isn't always the best way to go because its EXTREMELY hard to quit once you start. I'm a SI and I used to cut and scratch myself alot. But now I've promised myself and my significant other that I would stop cutting for the third time now. I've fallen through twice..and I still get really really bad urges to cut.
Self-injury is all about self-control. I hardly have ANY self control, that's why its so hard for me to stop SI. Lately I have been getting so many urges to cut or scratch myself and I know if I do it will only help for about 2 minutes....until I want to cut again...so when I do have the urges, I find alternatives to it. I know that I shouldn't even use self harm to rid my stress..but its really hard not to. So I found better alternatives to it..If you're a cutter or any other SI, hopefully these will help you too..I've tried most of these and they DO help:
t breath deeply until the urge goes away
t warm up red food coloring and drip it where you would cut
t listen to some hardcore music
t sleep
t rip up pictures of yourself
t beat the shit out of something that isn't alive
t tear or rip up paper or whatever else you can find
t wear a rubber band around your wrist and when the urge to harm is
strong, snap it on your skin
t rub ice where you would normally cut or burn (I've heard this helps because it gives you a burning sensation)
t mark X's all over a piece of paper
t draw red lines with a red water-coloring pencil where you want to cut, then drip water on it(I've heard this helps also)
t write poetry
tt Whenever you get the urge to harm yourself...make yourself try these alternatives for 15 minutes....when you make it 15 minutes without SI and fighting the urge, recognize the accomplishment.
tt If that doesn't help, here's a way to learn to cope with the urges:
Take 10 minutes every day..and just think about self-injury..dwell on it..think about how much you want to do it, and the results it will give you..then when the 10 minutes is up, use as many of the alternatives as you can until the urge is gone...the next day go for 15 minutes..then 20..then so on...this will help you to cope with the urges much better for the future...but before you try this you'll have to promise yourself that you are ONLY going to use the alternatives and NOT CUT...if 10 minutes is too long, try less.
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I really hope this will help you guys..
~trisha~
If you guys think of any suggestions AT ALL, put them in your comment...~trish~
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Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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I think those are some great ideas. Maybe I'll try them. =) I know the for the rubber band one, for me that doesn't help much, it kinda makes the urge worst. Well, there are some other great ideas i haven't tried though, thanks! =)
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Another thing that I've found useful is to trace over the veins in your arm with a fountain pen.
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This is a great article... I notice around here there a lot of people that use SI and it is destructive. These are great suggestions... I've heard some before but I haven't heard some of them. It's great that you thought to put this colum up hopefully it will help a lot of people. Good luck with staying away from SI I wish you the best of luck and hope you find yourself in a much better place.
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Its too late
What do you do if you start to like it? I mean... with all the crap I've got happening, I almost embrace pain as a reminder that I'm not dead already, murdered by people I let myself trust... -
wow, this is great. Some of these sound kinda stupid, but if you think about it, that's probably what makes them work, because you are spending time doing something stupid rather than cutting yourself, and anything is better than self-injury. I'm putting this on my favorites list. Thanks.
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That was great. I'm going to try some of these methods, and hopefully they'll work.
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Everyone says "this doesn't work - the rubber bands are a bad idea" There's something for EVERYONE! TRY SOMETHING! It's worth it to be able to go without it - believe me...
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Sleep doesnt work.
-Jake -
I've never heard of most of these things. I used the rubber band one until steven took it away and made me stop all together. I hope you're doing ok dear. If you EVER need to talk you can call me. I've been there. When i was trying to stop or wanting to start again i would have given ANYTHING to be able to talk to someone who understood. Keep your chin up darling! You're a wonderful person and the pit needs your booty dance (lol) love ya!
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kool
ill remember those -
hey omg i did some of these and they help alot thanks for the help
tori -
im a self mutilator
i wanted to tell you, that instead of cutting my wrist, i have been carving my ankles, and putting boys' names on there, and it hurts way worse then cutting ever did, and i do it when people say that they are going to kill themself...i know im crazy...its just how i am... -
THANKYOU
thankyou for taking the time to do this... its such selfless thing to do, be able to take the time to rite a column to help others... great alternatives gives me some more ideas
thanx agen hun uve helped more people than i think u no
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great
this is really great. thank you and i'm sure someone was effected by this piece. -
Wow, Trisha, this is amazing. I love that you're trying to get a message out there to people. I hope tons of people read this, especially people who'd like to quit cutting. I'm sorry you had to go through this because it must freaking suck and hurt inside like hell... but I think you have the determination to quit and you can do it, I know you can. This is so powerful. I wish people who cut could see that there are really people who care about them and would do anything to help them not harm themselves, because the more they do it the closer they get to permanently harming themselves in a way that can't be reversed. I see some people's arms... those scars--who's to say they'll fade? And what if the memories never fade? It breaks my heart because I can't really do anything, but I would honestly do just about anything to keep them from doing that. Even if all I can do is listen and be a different outlet, then that'll be what I'll do, and hopefully, they can get through it and maybe stop. I'd rather have someone mad at me than at themself and have them start hurting themself. I know I'd be able to take their anger--and it's better than letting them get deeper into thier addiction. This was incredible... I'm glad you put it up here.
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The rubber band thing wont work cause if you pull it far back enough and do it enough times, and repeatedly in the same spot, eventually it WILL leave marks also! I wouldn't suggest this! But thanks any ways! ~Ley~
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Thanks for the suggestions, but nothing is the same as cutting.
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wow, i am trying to stop cutting...and i have been doing well, its so hard to stop. thanks for these....great!
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AWSOME!!!!
Holy wow twisted freakin awsome man i love this...i have been looking for a way out of this shit...i had no idea what i was getting myself into in the begining....but ur sugestions rock! and thanks for the help TRULY!! xoxo Jessie Potatoes!! -
Haha, that's what I have to say ha ha ha!, or so said Stanley Kowalski. People hurt themselves for a number of reasons (so as to make mental plane tangible, low self image, attention), but the base cause is an overconcern with the opinions of others; If nobody else existed, and you had to survive by self subsistence farming, would you purposefully impair yourself? Look at the people with real problems, the victims of mass starvation or lethal diseases; do they sit around and play individual in a sick kind of irony to invoke pathos? No. Life is a finite thing, don't sit around limiting yourself to be who you feel you ought to be. And with this in mind, I add another to your list; get out in the world and enjoy yourself, exert effort, set simple goals and acheive them, and above all, make an effort to respect yourself.
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U ROCK!!!!
THIS ROKS SO HARD! IM SO GUNA TRY ALL THIS! U R SOO GOING ON MY FAVS FOR THIS! N IM GUNA CHECK OUT SUM OF UR POEMS AS SOON AS IM DONE WRITING THIS! U ROCK!!! I BEEN NEEDING THIS!!! -
very nice
This is the most meaningful thing that I have seen all night. I really appreciate this deeply because there are so many people who need to click on this and read it through. I have too many friends that I want to give a link to this page. It's very good advice, and as someone who used to find self-injury as a way to try to relief, I'm greatful for something like this. I think the main reason I and others do it is because it's the only pain that they can really control in their lives. Maybe that doesn't make the right kind of sense, but it's logical when you're depressed.
Thanks for posting this.
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What an excellent thought! I really hope this reaches out to anyone and everyone who needs it. I vote mostly for writing poetry because it is my only means of escape. Excellent write~
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This is a good concept because it can be useful to many people. Though, it has gotten me to think of some other suggestions, and ones that are more based on what is often the underlying problem of this: lack of self discipline/control.
Cutting is not going to solve your problems you face emotionally, it will simply use itself as a way of distracting your mind temporarily from thinking about your pain, sorrow, or problems. If you are in need of this type of distraction try practicing much more positive things in place of cutting, such as drawing (whether you are good at it or not), writing (anything at all, it doesn't have to be about poetry or a certain subject), reading, crying (it's actually not as bad as people think; it helps release negative chemicals built up in your body that can make you feel worse), exercising, meditating (that one is a very wonderful and simple one to do), doing yoga, tai-chi, etc. just to name a few. Particularly with yoga, tai-chi, and meditating you are spending that time focusing on your breathing, poses, movements, and making sure these are all just right. It also, over time, teaches you to discipline yourself better and help you gain the self control you may just be in need of. I suggest for the main one for someone to do is meditation. If and when you get the urge to cut, find a place to sit comfortably, usually with legs crossed, hands relaxed and sitting on knees, shoulders down and relaxed, and back straight. For about 5-10 minutes sit like this, focusing on the pose and breathing in and out deeply, yet smoothly through your nose. It will relax your mind and body and can greatly help reduce those negative urges to cut.
I know, that was long, but I just thought it would be helpful to add a few more suggestions. Like I said before, this is a good idea and at least it is meant as a positive message. -
wow im soo glad i dont have that problem but ik soo mny ppl that do so im very glad that u posed this maby it can help them lol i like to slap rubberbands any ways kinda a nervous habbit but any one who doesnt cut might wanna consider that one too tis very fin laterz ~X2c~
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thanks for the advice, i've been in the same shoes as you right now, this should prove useful for alot of people... i know some of it seems funny to people that don't cut, but i can completely understand it with my history in cutting... thank you oddles, on my behalf and others'
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Thank you SO much for writing this. I SI too and these alternatives were a really good idea, thank you so much for sharing.
The only thing I would be concerned about is the hardcore music. If the lyrics are violent or about lost love it could trigger someone to want to cut even more. Just my opinion.
Another alternative is to create a happy box and fill it with memories, even ones that can't be put in a box (like your first kiss). You could write out the happy details and re-read them when you get the urge to cut, it might help calm you down.
Anyway, that's my two cents.
Thank you again SO much for sharing, it means a lot to me as I'm sure it does to many others who SI.
Take care and be safe
Love
Amy -
brilliant
although not poetry, this is great, thank you for posting it. i know where you are coming from. good luck and stay safe.
~Kate -
I knew about the rubber band(I use a hair tie) thing but I didn't know about the other ways. Except for the writing poetry. But thankx a lot! Now I have different ways of dealing with the urges to cut and everything.
~Acadia~ 
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great
Wow this was great! I love that you can give such great advice....Although I am not a cutter my friend used to be.....long before I knew her and some when I did know her on occasion! I talked to her and I tolf her that instead of cutting to just talk to somebody! That seemed to help a lot! Keep up the great work!
Keep on dreaming!
Keep on writing! And
Keep on prospering from past mistakes!
your friend,
ashley -
I want to commend you for doing this. What a self-less act! It's so refreshing to know there are still others out there who are willing to help other people when they're in need. I never have been a cutter or anything else. I've only had hateful thoughts directed at myself (which is why i write poetry). Great post... Sydney
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great advice
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Wow this is amazing. I honestly was expecting one of those full of shit people saying things like "people love you" and "thats not the answer" and crap. I swear I'm going to try each and every one of these, I'm bookmarking it and rereading it any chance I get. Thankyou so much.
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i have found that it helps to some one who does or use to cut that is if they can give u reasons not to or make u want to stop them from ever doing it again
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Haha, great write here. Read my poem "Cuts" (not that I'm making you....) This was really cool, thanks so much for sharin' it with us.
~Liadan -
This is really cool that you would tell people altenatives to cutting I am a former cutter also, but I jsut write when I wanna cut or I punch something, or someone, which is bad, but hey, it's cool great advice though, i hope other cutters on here will use the advice, I am actullay thinkin about doing the food coloring thing, that proly would help too...
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Hey, rock on! I'm not really one but sorta. My friend says I'm not since I bruse more then leave scars (and I haven't done it in forever) But great job!!
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great!!!
When I was molested last August everything went downhill. I was depressed and started cutting. A lot. Deep cuts. When my therapist put me on anti depessants I had a great weekend until all of my shame and flashbacks of being molested came back. . . I overdosed. I had been numb (depressed) soo long I wasn't used to feelings and all these different feelings at one time were overwhelming to me. I spent 3 months in the mental hospital. They helped me alot with this kind of stuff. I'm no longer an SI or SM. Or a suicide attempter.
Thanks, you probably don't know how many lives you're saving!
Love
Amelia
<3 <3 <3 -
In regards to lisargh's comment, not everyone can go to therapy. Not many kids have that resource at hand, nor do parents understand or notice alot of times. One time my mom stood right in front of me, yelling at me about something and all the while I was slicing the tip of my finger with a piece of glass. She didn't noticed. After she walked out I wrote f u on the wall in my blood. It was weeks before she saw it and she just gave me a strange look.
I do applaud you and not only your effort to stop yourself, but to try to help others stop. Wish I could give some help myself but I don't know why I stopped... may have been cuse I took up smoking instead
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that's such a sad story
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even though i'm not a cutter my sister's friend who's gay used to be one and i saw more bravery in her helping him to stop than i've ever seen in my life. major props to letting people know that there are other options. luv~meg
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Just a wee tad of advice....
get some therapy... it helps... cutting is a symptom of soething deeper inside, through therapy you can work out what it is deep inside...
good luck to all and find peace
lisa xxxxxx -
Im glad someone finally tried one to write a commentary to help it instead of promote it, i know i sound like a hypocrite with my poems, but i never really hurt my self, i tried the " write poetry" one, and it really helps, i hope ppl try this!
-rik -
Good
The piece holds a lot of information. I commend you in your efforts and the telling of a serious issue that stands to a lot of people unknown. -
good message
wonderful! i just so happened to glance at this and i'm happy i did. for the last 3 years, i've been cutting and burning on and off (last time i burned was about 3 weeks ago. i've heard about all of these methods about how to not hurt yourself. The thing about think about si for longer and longer periods of time sounds kind of like exposure therapy that people with ocd do. confront something negative longer and longer, making you feel worse and worse and when it's over, you'll be a stronger person. you'll learn how to resist urges to perform a ritual (for ocd) or to resist cutting (for si). every time i go outside to smoke, no matter how good i feel, i always contemplate burning my leg, but i always manage not to thankfully. your right, it's a very hard thing to quit. it's so addictive. It sucks since i can't wear shorts even in the hot oklahoma summer right now bc i have a LOT of burns on my legs. after 2 or 3 months, i'm finally able to wear short sleeves, even though the scars are still there. cutting is also dangerous bc there are some accidental deaths where people accidentally cut an artery. ok,i said enough. thank you for writing this btw. -
wow! one of my friends needs to see this right now. i used to cut, i managed to stop, i still get the urges, poetry is my saviour, without it, i know that i would probably be dead. this is a fantastic thing to write, so many people need to find alternative ways of releasing the pain. well done! love lulu xxx
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kick ass
hey this is really cool...i might wana try this ...lol..
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hhhmmmm,,,,all better....thanks dr.trish...i like...later halmslice...
~~~samuria Tony~~~~...or T to the ONY....lol -
Thank you for your comments, all of you...I'm glad I'm helping you cope with this.. ~trish~ MAKE SURE YOU READ ALL OF THE COMMENTS FOR OTHER SUGGESTIONS!!
Edited on Jun 10 because 'i suck eggs'. -
*bows*
this is wonderful. i've been a SI for 8 years. and 3 months ago, i recieved the ultimatum of quitting or being locked away. so i quit. and as im sure you know.. even having that hanging over my head, it's a daily battle. the breathing helps. i have a punching bag, and that's done wonders too. i've also gotten back into yoga which is incredibly helpful because it strains the body in healthy ways. ice wouldn't help me, as that's what works really well to close a cut quickly. but these are excellent suggestions, and im glad you put this up, because finding a reason to stop is only half the battle. the rest is a lifelong struggle, but i think it's going to be well worth it. -
I had a friend who just did one arm, and used whatever dirty blade he could find and left it all to fester, and ooze, and when gangrene set in he watched it colonize and spread, but still he cut at it, inflicting peace through pain, and when they amputated his arm one day, he miraculously stopped cutting,
I was stumped and so was he, but I asked him why he'd stopped and he said, "There was a part of me that I transferred to that arm, a part of me that I despised, and I tried to excise it by cutting it out and bleeding it, but it failed and now a vital part of me is gone, my left arm has left, but what I despise is still in my heart, and I have nothing left of my tangible flesh that I wish to part with anymore, so I have chosen to live with it. He then turned and with a wave of his stump was gone from my life, the hand that helped him quit had left before him never to return and he was now a whole man with three limbs and great courage...best to you.....hope all your soul-lutions work.....Artis -
I have to tell you I was a cutter, and a burner for five years. I started when I was ten, and I have to say that stopping was the best thing that I ever did. I did use a couple of these alternatives, but I also did going to the gym, watching a movie, inviting a close friend over, or drawing a picture of me cutting, reading sometimes helped too. I really lovedthis article/ column thing because it is real. There is not a lot of help out there for all those unfortunate people, but what little help they can find is the best. I believe that this is a big help!
Thanks a ton for sharing.
~Rachel~ p.s. do not get focused on yourself, when you are trying to get rid of cutting, for I did that and it led to an eating disorder. -
Wow there as so many alternatives here...honestly i just got into the whole cutting thing myself...it just everything seems so messed up and i smile on the outside because i know no one will understand if i try to explain it...and if anyone ever found out i did cut...they'd never look at me the same...after all i'm the happy bubbly one right? right...i guess these are all alternatives but i dont' want to stop...not yet...
-cj
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