I regret to inform you that I will not be getting any
more massages from my pool boy 'Rufus' anymore
due to the penis imprint he boldly left upon my back
mid way through the last massage he gave me...
(Post our last lecture) You just can't find good help
anymore especially if you are THE LORD OF DARKNESS.
Just kidding, I just always wanted to say that.
Moving on...
A dream journal people! A sure fire way to make sure
your poetry stays equipped with the latest most supportive
underwear. Textured to the touch, colourful, and still sexy.
Dreams, if you remember yours, write them down first thing
in the morning. It's an interesting way to start your day, and
it gets those creative juices flowing. Don't send your poetry
off to school without the proper underwear. Dreams my
friends, added fabric, and warmth, and attitude for your poetry.
A limitless resource for you to tap into, and strip-mine like
a bunch of toothless minors converging upon the Black Hills.
Get in there before you become like one of these boring
preppy pill popping pretentious Pratts that "Don't dream any -
- more"? Whatever, sad pricks, or these other lazy whiners
that are too cool to care about their dreams. Rest assured, you
were not created to spend half your life simply sleeping.
You can control your dreams, and with my guidance turn
your sleep time into a world even more productive than the
one you spend your days awake in.
The three categories of dreaming for the beginner's journal:
1. Good dreams that leave you feeling positive.
a. Dreams that you are flying (weeee) lol.
b. Dreams that you can breath under water.
c. Dreams that you meet God in.
d. Dreams that you realize you are dreaming in
(These people are easier to teach and are special)
e. Dreams where you transform into an animal
f. Dreams where you are an animal.
g. Dreams where you are in the band "The Animals".
h. Dreams where the animal is in you...
2. Bad dreams that leave you freaking the hell out, and too
scared to ever go back to sleep again, leaving you sapped
and ready to take a visit to the head shrinkers.
a. A dream where you die, painfully, violently, and repeatedly.
b. A dream where someone you love does instead.
c. A dream where everyone does and doesn't believe you
when you try to warn them.
d. A dream where shit chases you endlessly, and you don't
know why for the life of you, and you are in slow motion.
e. A dream where you are lost, deformed, or in-prisoned.
f. A dream where you try to keep things in-prisoned, pets etc...
g. Dreams where you become the prison, a host to
something else that you can't, nor don't, want to think about.
h. Dreams that involve embaressment at your nude
form's unbenounst expenditure.
3. Abstract dreams that leave you thinking "I am one far
out mother f*r sometimes, Jesus! What the hell was
that all about?" (my personal favourites)
a. A dream where all the trees are upside down.
b. A dream where the colors are backwards or shifting.
c. Dreams where you encounter something you have
no name for? Say, "Bob, an alien that hunts for hubcaps
from Uranus?
d. A dream that you're in, but you're not you, in fact you
don't know who in the hell you are, or who anyone else
is for that matter.
e. A dream where you are looking for some ridiculous thing
for some even more unusual purpose, like your dog so
that you can borrow the car?
f. A dream where you can't stop laughing because
everyone is dressed up like clowns, or priests.
g. A dream where you have a prawn for a side kick,
and fight crime for a man that sits on a giant donut
named Captain Aspic.
Now, if you feel that you fall into some of these
categories, I suggest you start writing this stuff down
So that you can embellish your poetry with aspects
of it. Whether in detail, or just lightly applied at indifferent
intervals throughout the piece. Oddly enough. in the world
of poetry, I find so few poets tapping into this wealth
of raw imaginative happenings.
If you have a hard time dreaming?
I suggest less or more sex, a different diet
depending on blood types. A different sleeping
pattern. (I had a friend, never dreamed, got a
new job working graveyards, switched his habits
around and started dreaming in Lucas surround
sound Dolby digital magic). No drugs, unless
it's hallucinogenic, but even then, it's not the same.
Monks are the best dreamers... Think about why?
That's right, they are reserved and starving certain
senses in their day life to awaken in their night life.
So what are you all waiting for?
Ah, the secrets part huh?
Well, you will find some of the best poetry ever
is about your deepest darkest secrets but told
not in the first person 'teen angst narrative', but
in second, or third person, but only when it's still
hurting the worst, or after you've had time to take
it into the barn and shoot it.
Smile, you poets you... There is more to come.
This article will come in three instalments when
enough of you want more, and we start getting
to the good stuff, but now it's time for me to
listen to Chopin, and smoke a joint.
Ah, California, sweet sweet citrus heaven.
Home of the Horus8 movement of orphans.
Come to me my sweet angry children that
can't sleep, because they have secrets.
I regret to inform you that I will not be getting any
more massages from my pool boy 'Rufis' anymore
more massages from my pool boy 'Rufis' anymore
Included in the list
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Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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intresting read
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And now I'm going to go to bed and dream I'm pretzel that the president chokes on.
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well. its your dream too, so are they dentally challenged young people unable to vote, drink or have consensual sex, or are they persons who mine, ie, miners? lol - enjoy your way of presenting your thoughts, reads like Terry Pratchett meets Neil Gaiman meets Monty Python!
My dreams, well, written about one or two on this site, more to come, maybe.
In the meantime, Horus, keep taking the tablets, they're doing such a good job - or, if you'd stopped taking them, don't start again, coz this is diverting stuff!
Sheona ( smiling to herself in a Mona Lisa esque way, coz she's remembering some of her dreams! ....so that's what the woman was thinking of when she was painted! :0 Oh my!!!)
Edited on Feb 18, 5:22 p.m. because 'gremlins in the text'. -
Right on.
hehe, I once had a dream where superman was one foot tall, and I taxied a biplane UP the side of a building, while Jules Winnfield (played by Samuel L Jackson) went up a shrinking flight of stairs, and got stuck. I tend to write about my nightmares, only because they make more sense. -
Professor, sorry I'm late. You'll reach your tenure soon, yes. Lately, this dream cocktail has been working for me - sleep deprivation - caused by insomonia that leads to a very thin layer of a sleep-like state somewhere around 5-7 AM. At that time, I usually like to add in the nooky and like Emeril popping the stuff in the pan BAM! Keeping that paper and pen handy is of course the key so as not to let those brain bits evaporate. I'm left just plain mad with poem broth ready to be cooked up later in the day. Bohb is wondering what I'm shooting in my veins so I think it may be working. (Although, I think he is just really nice to me because he wants to use me to get to Ms. Plink.)
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Write about WHAT?!
Hey, screw you, buddy. I am going to write about Jesus and how much He loves each and every one of you, except, of course, you disbelieving sinners. And I am going to write about my One True Love that I met by my locker on the way to math class. And I am going to write about how superiorally tortured I am when I slice up my skin. I refuse, REFUSE, REFUSE, to venture into the wealth of un-overwritten topics, as that might even give me insights into my own personality, my own existence, and then I wouldn't be able to sit here feeling all secure in knowing that I know exactly who I am. -
Oh I don't know, real life offers enough insipiration for me thanks.... enough creepy stuff out there without me delving into the dreamworld.
But thanks anyway, interesting way to rouse the muse.
Kyla -
hehe, this is one I've had before...
A dream that you're in, but you're not you, in fact you
don't know who in the hell you are, or who anyone else
is for that matter
Mayhaps it is my other personalities. (Just watched Identity, my imagination is working overtime...)
And this was a line that made me grin my head off..."dreaming in Lucas surround sound Dolby digital magic" Sounds like nice dreams..
And THIS is probably some of the best advise I have seen in a "column"...
"some of the best poetry ever
is about your deepest darkest secrets but told
not in the first person 'teen angst narrative' " Bravo. Great advise. Think outside the square you find yourself breathing in. Then you might start to live.
Sorry I have ended up cutting and pasting so much of you straight back at you, but I couldn't resist pointing out the things that appealed.
Dreams are Muse food. So true. An interesting an witty piece of writing.
Edited on Jan 18, 4:53 because ''. -
I have a little of column one and three, and usually all of column 2. But then again, my brain usually doesn' tlike me in the dark and i can dream worse images than Steven King can conjur up in books...
But most of them, like always involve me and a certain person (who should die), and an event that always gets more bloody and more violent as time progresses...
And theres only so many times one can write about being beaten and raped before it gets wonderously repetitious.
So i write about sex and it's always different, except the content which usually revolves around dirty.
nice nice...wish me luck, perhaps i'll dream up something normal tonight.
Nyx...
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