i thought that for once i had found my prince charming... the one that would be there when i needed him, the one that would spare time to call me, just to hear my voice, and the one who respected my space when i needed it, and understood what i wanted or needed, or even felt. i thought that he was the guy that could feel my pain as i felt it. even though i had this guy right there, from month one to the next... and then slowly he grew away, just like the others. he cheated on me, just like the others. and no matter what i tried to do, i could not unlove him, which was something unlike the others... this was something that was not used to, because unlike the others, i gave him all of my heart. i trusted him with all of my soul. and now, with each passing day that i do not have him, i cry and try to accept reality just a little bit more. this one guy, a really good friend of mine, knows what i am going through, and he has been there for me throughout the past week, and this i thank him for, otherwise i dont know what i would have done... and he gets my mind off of him. but there are times when freddy sneaks his way from the back of my head and into the conversation, and then those feelings of pain and a lost soul and heart come back to me, and take forever to get rid of for only another hour.
i have had dreams of freddy lately too, thought i always did. but these are different, i type of nightmare. a dream where he calls me and asks what i am doing, and a girl in the background of his phone giggeling as he tells her not to 'go that far.' the tone in his voice showing that he enjoys it. or the dream where i walk in on him and this girl having sex... breaking my heart more... but then i get a phone call in this dream, and i am told that he is at the hospital, and all those old feelings come rushing back as i speed to the hospital, and am rudely awaken by my cat... and now i have this feeling that the dream was telling truth, that something bad happened to him, because i cannot get that feeling out of me. and it may all just be my head, but i dont know. not even my good friend can get my mind off of it, and i just dont know what to do. i guess this is what happens when you fall recklessly in love...
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wow!
this made me cry. i have been in this situation! i love this! is there anyway i can put the link to this on my page and have your name there and everything?! i want everyone to see this because it is beaitifl! <3 i am here if u ever need to talk!
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I know what your dreams about
I've have had dreams about the girl that I thought was the one. Exactly like the ones your having of Freddy. By the way her name was Aubrielle. She was beautiful, and seemed so honest. But yea, I had dreams exactly like you're having. It's just another part of letting go. Until you finally let go completely, you won't be able to feel good about yourself,and moving on. In my dreams, I saw her with another guy all the time, and doing things I never wished her to do.. And it was heart wrenching. I had dreams of her getting hurt also, really badly somehow. But that's just the second effect of the dreams. There is the I can't believe I loved this person part, all she'll ever do is hurt me, and the other effect is the I can't be without hurt. What if she gets hurt, and i'm not there. I don't want to be like her, and leave her. That's what it's really about.. I didn't want to be like her. And I know you probably feel the same about Freddy.. But you know I'll always be there for you, and I'll always help you out. I love you, and I'll be your support. The one who understands and listens. I won't let you down.
I understand how you feel.
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