Yes. Do you test drive a car before you buy it and plan to drive it for only five years? Yes. Do you get three opinions before having any surgery? Yes. Do you really know if you can spend a lifetime with a person if you do not know if you can tolerate their habits? No. Does a marriage work if you do not have common goals and interests? No. Do you study before you take an exam? Yes. So should you study and get to know the person you are going to marry.
You do not really get to know each other until you have lived together. You also need to discuss what marriage really means to the person that you intend to marry. Is the man getting married for a personal slave (his mother reincarnated) and sex? Is the woman getting married to validate who and what she is not to mention, financial security? Are you getting married because you are going to have a baby, but would not consider it otherwise? These are all the wrong reason to get married.
Marriage should be a friendship, a partnership, a loyalty shared between two people who have grown to depend on each other for affection, intellectual and spiritual (and of course sexual) stimulation and have common goals and interests so they are friends and can do activities together. They should also be mature enough to love themselves so that they retain their identity and are able to do their own thing without jealousy or interference from the other spouse. Two people should also have a commitment to each other, long before they get married, instead of depending on the marriage contract to provide that emotion.
When you get married without first living together, you do not really know if all this criteria is met because both people are still trying to impress the other one. Marriage is work. You must work at it every single hour of every single day and learn to appreciate each other for your similarities and your diversity. It goes way beyond the wedding day and the honeymoon. If you cannot make deposits to your partner's emotional bank account without getting married, you really should not get married as it will not last, and by the time you figure it out, 2.5 children are involved in the divorce.
In conclusion, living together explores the possibilities and sets parameters of both people and their expectations. Communication, trust, and unconditional love are the key to a happy mating, whether or not the two people involved in the relationship decide to get a license to prove it in court.
My thought about trying out your spouse before you give them access to your money, assets and entire life.
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