'just so you know I won't be in the cb unless it's for mod reasons. I also, will be withdrawing from one and all for a good while so I am going to be asking one and all not to message me unless it is a mod related reason. '
The message above is one I sent out to a few groups and a few people. Now I know many of you have no idea why and are probably wondering about it and well to be quite honest I need some space.
I have too much going on in my head right now and I need to step back. I mean step back from one and all. This doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean I hate you or love you any less. The only thing it means is that I am stepping back for a while and I need space. I need space to fix my thoughts and fix me. My sleep has gone to shit. My eating is next to nil and patience worn thin in many aspects.
I am depressed, I am angry, I am hurt. I've been lied to, backstabbed, played and more and I need to back away before I explode and I will explode. I'm getting very depressed and it's going to get worse before it gets better and personally I do not want anyone in the path of that as NO ONE knows how to handle that side of me. It's not a pretty side and I tend to snap at people often because simply I jut don't care. I will rip you to shreds without needing a reason other than just because I can.
You all can take that however you wish, personally I don't care. If you want answers and want to know more, sure feel free to ask and maybe if you are really lucky I'll give them to you but DO NOT get all pissed off and defensive whe I don't. Don't send me a message and get pissed if I don't respond. Don't get pissed if you call and I don't answer. I am withdrawing into myself because that is what I do. I will be damned if I am going to be made to feel bad because I choose and need to step back.
I am an open book for anyone who can read between the lines of all that I write, if not then it sucks to be you because I do not open and talk before I a ready, not for any one. Do not try and make me feel guilty and do not try to lecture me of force me to talk. Any of that will just piss me off and that is a side of me you do not want to see.
I have no idea how long I will remain withdrawn. I may slowly come back and talk to just one or two people for a while then again I may not, I don't know. I only know what is in my head right now and the way it's got me feeling. So unless you need my assistance as a mod I ask that you respect me enough to leave me alone and allow me to withdraw into the shadows.
If you understand all that I have just stated, that's great! If not then once again I'm sorry but I will not be made to feel bad for my actions and taking this time and space. I'm not telling you you have to like it but I am asking that you respect my decision without a fight, because anyone who fights me on this will lose.
PS
My daughter is home from the hospital and doing well.
She will be returning to school tomorrow.
I thank you all for your concern, thoughts
and prayers.
Adding your comment:
we all need space sometimes. And I'm glad you did it the smart way 
I always knew ya to be smart. I'm sorry to hear someone was dumb enough to cross u 
~
