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Haiku - Things to Remember

A list of things to remember when writing haiku. These will help almost anyone instantly write better haiku in whatever language they speak.
Haiku generally do not employ CAPTIALS and periods (though some folks from the 50's tried it out and there are a few today who like the form with them, it isn't what I personally recommend).

Haiku are written in the "Present" tense.

Haiku are not "poems" in the "traditional sense" one might have of poetry. They are a very different kind of poetry stemming several hundred years back when they were known as the opening to a renga and called hokku.

Haiku, historically, do not employ the use of metaphors and other poetic devices. They use a straight forward everyday language which is a strong Japanese tradition.

Haiku are not “telling” but rather revealing. Unnecessary words should be eliminated.

Haiku are not 5,7,5 structure in a mandatory way. Basho ranged from 8 to 24 onji, himself. Japanese language lends itself to 5,7 rhythm naturally…. and never intended to limit the haiku in any way though shorter, less wordy haiku are most likely to bring about a clearer, more succinct image. English lends itself to 2, 4, 6, and 8 rhythms naturally.

5,7,5 generally make haiku wordy and awkward in English. German, Spanish, Armenian and other languages have their own unique problems for writing haiku. The spirit of haiku is what really counts.

Use 5,7,5 as a "guide" to length and do not generally exceed the length of those lines unless it absolutely cannot be avoided. Less is more.... in terms of syllables in English. 2,3,1; 4,5,3; 1,4,3 some ideas.

Haiku are strongest in English in a length of approx 11 to 12 words. Too many words ruin the image and verbal reading. (According to Blythe and Higginson and countless other individuals and groups including the World Haiku Clu

Each word added either cloudys the image or distills it... so be careful in this regard. Wordy often = muddy

Haiku are moments in time captured by an objective observer, the haijin/monk.

Haijin try not to project themselves into the haiku by adding to the moment.

Haijin are reporters…. reporting in a unique way what they witnessed. They try not to "embellish" the scene.

Haiku often refer either directly or indirectly to season but these days, not always.

Haiku generally deal with nature, but not always, today. Contemporary subjects are more than welcome. But in writing so, keep the principles of haiku in tact.

Onji and syllables are NOT the same and do not equate. The myth is over. "Onji means 'sound symbol' in Japanese.

Haiku should be easily read in a comfortable, single breath.

Haiku, well written, has resonance through imagery…. visually and possibly philosophically. They often have a lightness to them, since Basho introduced the concept.

Haiku employ what the Japanese call shasei – on the spot composition of a scene and revelation. (situation and revelation)

Haiku retain a unique perspective of detachment between subject and haijin (poet)

Haiku should not be superficial.

Kireji is a natural place for pause and in English sometimes identified by punctuation - , ; : etc. In Japanese it is an actual sound made by the reader as indicated by the haijin.

Haiku have two main elements: presenting a situation and the other a sudden perception or enlightenment regarding the situation. It can either be the 1st line against the last two or the first two lines against the last one.

Many haiku you read today are not haiku. They are a list of statements, words or thoughts but do not necessarily bring into play appropriate images and structure to create the “condition/response” aspect of haiku. Reminder: haiku are not a list of statements and words. They are poems designed to reveal a moment in time that has a juxtaposition in them and that a reader suddenly “gets” the entire picture including the “ah-haaa” aspect needed to really make a haiku work well.


For more information please read here:

http://allpoetry.com/column/show/423262

http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2339486



These are NOT haiku (no matter how many syllables):

1)
very beautiful
wonderful clouds cross
the sky

2)
gorgeous stars
reveal the depth of my soul
I love them!

These really give no image. They say nothing but maudlin thoughts. Mainly, they are linked statements and simple thoughts. They do not "report" anything whatsoever, let alone use the haiku set-up of situation and response (sudden awareness of something). "Very beautiful" says nothing. How is it beautiful? Where is the image? "Gorgeous" is a matter of opinion. How is it gorgeous? Show us. "Wonderful clouds"... what does that show us? "The sky"... so... what does that reveal....? What kind of sky etc. "depth of my soul"... how do we "see" that? "I love them" is a simple statement.


The following ARE haiku:

1)

footprints
the crow hops
a mogul


2)

drifting
snowflakes powder
my nose


3)

a coyote pup
paints a snow angel
yellow


Some are better than others. The haijin is able to connect with certain scenes better than others. These have the basic ingredients needed to reveal scenes and their ah-haaas. Simple, less words (not more) and not over written. Each one can be read in a single breath easily. They have the set-up/response as they should.


Enjoy the form…. have a great time writing them and please, look forward to my haiku class here at Allpoetry. I am back as the haiku teacher and will be guiding students, once again, through the journey of writing better haiku.

Don
haikumonk




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Comments

1 - 67 of 67
  • yes, yes, yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People need to read this, and stop telling me that blatant metaphor is perfectly fine in haiku.......they don't get it.

    Love this!
  • This is awesome...thank you. You might have inspired me to try out a haiku...the only kind of form poetry I like
  • Fantastic! I'm loving your class too!

    instruction
    opens
    sleeping eyes
  • Papagallo
    March 14
    Edit | Reply
    maybe i need to proof closer (iw should have been is)
  • Papagallo
    March 14
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for Things to Remember

    It iw good to refresh one's memory on Haiku. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us,
  • Hawkeyes
    February 5
    Edit | Reply

    Very informative

    I thought that hailu is five sylables, seven syllables, and back to five syllables. I learn something new everyday and that what I've learned in school all my life.

    • haikumonk gold member
      February 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... glad I could help you out some. Well, they taught it that way to help kids count syllables and also because they made a mistake originally trying to equate "on" (onji) with syllables; and it doesn't. They are very different beings. Thanks again for taking the time and effort to read it.

  • AndrewHide silver member
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Don,
    Another very useful and educational column, I hope this will remove some of the walls we tend to bang our heads on.

    I hope these pieces of yours will, at some time, find their way onto a collective hard copy for the those who don't use allpoetry. The would make a good introduction to the moment as have your previous teachings.

    All the best to you,
    Andrew

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 15
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Andrew.... thanks so much. Great seeing you friend.
  • karaharapriya silver member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    Extremely helpful column. Cleared some misconceptions and gave definite pointers. I liked it a lot. Made me feel like writing a haiku right now.

  • bengalibelle
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderfully instructive column...hope many more people read it and understand what a haiku is...and am spared the bashing that i have to take many a times from people who think my haiku cannot qualify as haiku.Thanks so much, Don.

  • missusmo
    January 8
    Edit | Reply

    haiku - things to remember

    At last - I find a writing site where good advice is given about haiku and how to write them. Much appreciated.

  • UnchartedPoet
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    I too recently learned that a Haiku does not truely need to hold the 5,7,5 count. I have tried my hand at shorter used forms and found that it is just as rewarding. I have read a lot of Haikus and many don't grab you and have no Aa-haaa at the end, I feel nothing and see nothing mainly just as you indicated, just a statement. I love learning all I can about this style of writing and hope that I can better my own form. Thanks for writing this, it has given more information for me.

    Jen

  • astralshepherd gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    i cannot ku, no matter how i try to climb, those darned ku are too high.


    i will try again someday - thaks for the advice.

    blessings and best wishes,

    ~r.
  • Sage advice. Thanks so much for your sharing your intuitive and studious understanding of haiku.

    All the best,
    D.M.

  • Hekate gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this column It's appreciated.

  • wakingdevil
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Glad I read this, definitely helped a lot I 2 had the misconception that haiku had ONLY 5,7,5 syllables and you cd write anything in it lol.Thx for the informative column

  • MariGoes gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Always good to refresh what we have learned You explained haiku in a very easy and clear way.
    What you said about writing haiku in other languages is very true. It's difficult when writing haiku in Portuguese, not to exceed the 17 syllables. We have way too long words, like primavera (Spring) and árvore (tree)
    Wonderful column Don, I'm sure it'll be useful to many people.

  • Ladybug
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    vivid imagery here in information

    thanks

    Tamara

  • Olivia33
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    This haiku column is very helpful/informative.
  • carole21
    January 7
    Edit | Reply

    thanks

    thanks for the pointers . . !
  • Mirthryl
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Don;

    Thank you so much for the basic brevity and clarity of your column. I have so much to learn! I look forward to your class. Mirthryl

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      You're welcome. Thanks for commenting. Hope the column helps us all.....

  • mommyof2
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Don,
    I just wanted to drop a few lines to say thank you for posting such an indepth column on haiku writing before and now. As most, I was always taught that a 5,7,5 syllable count was a "must" in order for it to be a "proper haiku". Now after reading and learning from your insightful explanations, I'll be experimenting with my haikus in the future from outside of the traditional box. Thanks again for this informative and very helpful column. I'll definitely be bookmarking. ~mommy

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed the information. "Proper haiku" are really about the set-up more than any "count".... even in Japan. It's very, very important to have the set-up correct or honestly, then it wouldn't be a haiku..... some folks believe they can write anything as long as it is 5,7,5 and it is a haiku. Now, there is a terrible misconception of the style and structure.

      Haiku formula: observation of a "condition" combined with a response/sudden awareness/ah-haaa or so forth. So, "condition and sudden awareness" is truly the form of haiku and not the "count".

      If we keep the count and ignore the set-up, it is still not haiku and that's where so many poets go astray. They honestly believe they can write just about anything and it is ok as long as it meets this odd need of 5,7,5 and nothing could be further from the truth.

      Thanks again for your comment.

      Happy Ku-ing

  • cherche -d -ame gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Don , this is one of the best explanations for haiku writing that I have EVER read. Bravo for telling that a good haiku is opened to a bit of individualaty [rather than strictly adhering to a strict form] <------as that really is IMpossible to do in all the different languages. I well understand what is meant by the "Haiku should be easily read in a comfortable, single breath."
    this might have inspired me to attempt another one in the very near future, as my Muse to write lengthier is currently on an loa
    thanks for this...I bookmarked to return to at my leisure,
    z
    reenie

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the great comment. Keep in mind though, I've changed nothing and have not altered tradition. Basho wrote haiku with varying numbers of syllables actually and so did other Japanese poets. They never really looked at it in such a strict count as it became later when English folks misunderstood Japanese syllables called onji and worse, what haiku were really all about. The true form of haiku is NOT in the COUNT but rather in the set-up.

      The set-up is the form and cannot be altered in any language - because then, the form would indeed be ruined. In English language minds, it's the math that is looked for.... some count... in any "form" poetry... but, for haiku, it was never about count but rather the internal structure of "situation and response" to that situation - or juxtaposition within the image or some contrasting point or some revelation about the image. Whew... that was a lot of "or"s... hahaaa.


      Thanks again.

  • penciledlives
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this.

  • Tishu
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad someone is taking the time and effort to enlighten members on this site to the now universally accepted form of English haiku.

    There has been a sufficient publication of quality English haiku for it to have its own place in the field of poetry without constantly having to stand comparison to the Japanese form - which sets the standards but cannot be the dictate because of differences in language construction. The spirit of haiku and its simplicity, clarity and contemplative content is far more important than its 'counts'

    Here's to a greater understanding of not only how to write quality English haiku - but also how to read it.

    Well done Don

    Alan Taylor (Tishu)

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I appreciate your supportive and kind words. It is a constant challenge to reach English poets with the more important aspects of haiku such as "simplicity, clarity and contemplative content" verses the silly count of 5,7,5 taught grade schoolers.

      You're right about the numerous books, columns, articles and publications regarding haiku; but for some reason, it's still difficult to get the word out in such a manner where people really understand the truth - haiku in English is seriously
      damaged by the 5,7,5 count. It becomes awkward, wordy (English is monosyllabic and poetically clumsy as a result) and therefore undermines some of the very basic aspects of quality haiku.

      A NON HAIKU:

      beautiful azure
      such a sky that we all love
      grass greener today

      MANY people believe this to be a haiku because the count is right... but it isn't. Now, that is a difficult message to get out there, but I'm trying.

      I appreciate your excellent comment very much.

      take care.... and happy Ku-ing.

      Don




  • trista gold member
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    I've entered a few of the haiku workshop contests here on AP, and this confirms everything I've learned in them, plus taught me a few things I didn't yet know. Great column, and the more people who read it the better! It drives me crazy, what some people consider to be haiku. I shouldn't complain...I used to believe the same things. lol

    Thanks so much, and if I can find the time I would love to take your class.

    Wishing you many "haiku moments",
    ~J.

  • paulcreates silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you Don

    haiku
    all Poetry
    taught well



  • Purush
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    ILLUSTRATIVE

    THE essay is quite illustrative and educativetoo
    more examples have to find place here to enthuse readers

  • Shakespeare
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    i will definitely bookmark this page! I have been in need of an explanation of what haiku really are. Thank you.

  • haikumonk gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Great... I'm glad this helps out. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

  • azure85 gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    An excellent column on haiku, it is full of great things for us all to remember. I always learn something new when I read your columns, thank you!

  • pania gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you

    I hope to be able to take your class when you post it - could you message me, or should I add you as favourite so I don't miss it ?

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      ... just add me on as a fave if you like... and you will see it coming. It will be only a week or so.... click on learn, scroll to class list and you can join from there. It is called Haiku right now but the name will change soon to Haikumonk's Haiku Class...

  • Rheea gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    This explains so much .

  • Mad Moon silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for this very informative column. I have never tried one, but this has sparked an interest! Bookmarking, and will check the class out!

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. I hope you give it a try one day. Also, look for my new class coming up called Haikumonk's Haiku Class. (or something like that, lol)

  • Glitter Goddess gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Very useful

    Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge with us. I attempted a Haiku about the sunset several years ago, which didn’t turn out so well. I haven’t had the proper muse or instructions to revise it. However, since reading this, I feel I might be able to fix the poem. I will bookmark this for future reference. This was quite an informative column. I enjoyed learning more about the form. Thanks again.
    - Andi

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Andi.... you're very welcome.... This column and the links I gave here should help you a lot. Give 'em another try soon. They're kind of like a puzzle.... and fun to do though sometimes frustrating too, I think. LOLL

  • Redstormy gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Don thank you for this article. I have so much
    trouble when I write Ku in here because so many
    people think it has to be 5-7-5.

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      You're welcome. I agree and it makes me nuts!!! LOLLLL But, hey, all this is just a bunch of great fun! Great seeing ya Red.

  • dericlee gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    I do find the 5-7-5 format a helpful guide for keeping a certain quality of brevity to the work (and it also helps me avoid being yelled at by literalists) but it's about time someone came out and said "it's not a rule"...thank you.

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      LOLL.... thanks! I wanted to clear up a few misconceptions and I think this little ditty does it. Basho and the other Japanese masters never really meant to write that way. Their language has a natural pattern of 5,7,5 and so without thought, really, more haiku than not came out that way. Basho was inconsistent in that regard writing haiku from 8 to maybe 24 onji (japanese syllables) keeping a flexibility even up his sleeve!

      In English, 5,7,5 is very awkward and wordy. I wrote a lot of those too but have gotten away from it in the last few years so as to be more competitive in Japan contests.... and others. I'm a member of the World Haiku Club and honestly, ya just don't see the 5,7,5 thingy at all. Haijin don't write that way in English except for in schools etc.... so teachers can teach kids about syllables in an English class. Then, by the way, kids are ruined for life in regards to haiku is really written. HAHAHAHAAAAAA

      And yes.... 5,7,5 works as a guide until the "newbie" becomes more experienced. Good point.

      Take care friend.

  • grannyeri gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for this list of haiku information. So many hosts of contests dealing with haiku are unsure themselves about the form and those of us who enter are not sure what they want or are looking for. This is great.

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      You're absolutely right. I've written haiku for contests here and they haven't even be mentioned, yet they get published, featured and win international championships....LOLLLLL gasp... it's maddening.

      The contest hosts are really doing a dis-service by not understanding haiku themselves and furthermore, having no idea how to grade one. Frustrating.... yet still fun at the same time.

      I prefer not to look at "what THEY are looking for" and I simply write the best haiku I can. If they are knowledgeable, they will know mine is real.... and match it against the other "real" ones and choose the one they like best. But, when they are not well versed in the haiku grading, haiku that aren't even really haiku win the contest and that.... well that aggravates me. hahahaa

      Thanks again. Keep on Ku-ing!

  • Talloaks silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I enjoyed reading about this. I want to learn to write them. I will look into your class.

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. I'll be taking it over this week sometime. Look for me. LOLL I'll change the name to something like haikumonk's haiku class.... LOLLLLL

  • catz Moderators member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Yay!!! I've been hoping you'd do another class. As you know, haiku is one of my favorite forms of poetry and I'd love to get good at it. Mine pale in comparison next to yours... I'm on my way to sign up

    This column is great, it will be a big help to me I'm sure


    Dee

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Hey catz.... thanks. Just now trying to figure how the new school works. It has been overhauled since the new site came up and now not sure how it all works. I'm learing though. LOLL

  • Kitesen
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Don it might help to get loose from a kind of writersblock.

    Wim

    the feared block
    plays hide and seek
    the pen rests

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      LOLL Wonderful response! Great contempory haiku as well!!! Fun stuff.... lets see a bunch more now!!!!!

  • Knight70
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you so much for this column, Don.

    I love to read and write haiku, so I can't tell you how much I appreciate a column like this. It can only help me to write haiku more effectively. Bravo!! Don

  • myrataal silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you, Monkie.

    Enlightment, as always.


    Myra

  • Peteskid gold member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    this is a very informative and well done presentation here, I look forward to more...PK

    • haikumonk gold member
      January 6
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. I just wanted to create a simple list of "to-do's" and "not to-do's".... so people can begin improving right away. For more detailed info, I included links to more indepth writes about haiku.

      Thanks again.
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